What to do
by no-tracing-herman
Summary: Blaine has to make a hard decision. Does he like Kurt in that way? Only he can decide.
1. What to Do

Kurt was sat in glee club right at the back as usual, paying far more attention to his hair then whatever Rachel was going on and on and on and on and on about to Mr. Schue.  
"Can you believe this?" Mercedes hissed at him so he took a final look at his pocket mirror snapped it shut and began to pay attention.  
"Furthermore" Rachel was saying "I shall not be singing with Finn at sectionals seen as I can't even look at him without feeling PHYSICALLY repulsed. So I put it to you my fellow glee club members that you may choose which of us should sing and the replacement for the other person"  
"Rachel, you are such an idiot" Santana droned "we aren't going to choose who sings between you and Finn. I mean who even said it WOULD be you and Finn singing at sectionals because, I really, really don't remember agreeing to that"  
"Drama" Kurt mumbled rather bored and looked back into his mirror blocking out Rachel and Finn trouble. He had it at home, every single night since Carol and his dad had moved in together all he ever heard was Rachel talking to Finn about her needs as a performer and a person. The two things were separate in Rachel's screwed up world. He was dragged out of his daydream by Rachel's shrill shrieking of "SPY! SPY!".  
"Oh, I'm not here to spy, if I were I'm pretty sure I would have done it a little better." Blaine's composed voice made Kurt's head snap up suddenly "hello, you must be Rachel, I'm Blaine, It's a real pleasure to meet you"  
"How do you know my name?"  
"Of course I'm going to know the name of the girl who provides the Warblers with the most competition. Your voice is amazing, I've been on your MySpace and I just cannot stop listening to your covers of classic Broadway musicals" Blaine effortlessly schmoozed. Rachel looked impressed as her favourite topic of conversation was herself and her flawless voice. Mr Schue however was not taken in by Blaine and not entirely trusting of him.  
"If you aren't here to spy on us, errm Blaine? Then why are you here?" He asked calmly.  
"Yes my name is Blaine" Blaine smiled his dazzling smile and then looked straight at Kurt. Kurt's heart was pounding and he could feel a faint blush growing on his cheeks yet he was trying to keep his exterior relatively cool "you forgot your jumper" Blaine winked and held up his arm. Sure enough a grey sweater vest was in his hand "Marc Jacobs, very nice, I was tempted to keep it but then I thought that wouldn't be exactly fair on you"  
"If you'd have kept it I would have beaten you to death with my copy of vogue magazine" Kurt laughed.  
"Oh come on" Blaine laughed "if you got a drip of blood on a copy of vogue you would have cried!"  
"I WOULD NOT"  
"you so would, you must keep every single copy in perfect condition, I don't even think you read them, you must just glance at the cover before filing it away into a safe!"  
"I read vogue cover to cover actually you can test me...go on!"  
"Okay then, what did..."  
"Kurt, we're supposed to be practising" Mercedes butt in looking at Blaine with a fierce jealousy  
"And we can't exactly practise with him here" Rachel added  
"I was just going" Blaine flashed yet another smile to show he'd taken no offence to Mercedes rude interruption "I'll ring you later Kurt, don't forget I'm picking you up at seven"  
"Yeah, see you then" Kurt sighed as Blaine turned and walked away.  
"YOU ARE FRATENISING WITH THE ENEMY!" Rachel yelled so loud Blaine must have heard it.  
"He isn't the enemy Rachel, he's a friend"

At six sharp Blaine arrived at the door to Kurt's dad's house. Kurt ran downstairs and opened the door with a face mask all over his face. "You said you were coming at seven!" Kurt yelped "I am nowhere near ready, I still have to do my hair and pick and outfit and wash this gunk of my face and..."  
"Woah, woah, relax! Do I look ready to you" Blaine laughed flashing his teeth. Kurt noticed Blaine's uniform was still on and he had a carrier bag in his hand. "I was wondering if I could get changed here seen as my room at Dalton is occupied by a smelly boy by the name of David sitting in his underwear playing COD" Blaine rolled his eyes dramatically.  
"Yeah, okay" Kurt laughed thoroughly relieved he still had plenty of time to get ready.  
"Errm, so where's the restroom"  
"what?"  
"so I can get ready"  
"don't be stupid, that thing's like four foot by four foot wide! You'll never be able to get ready in there, get ready in my room"  
"ermm" Blaine looked nervous "I'm not sure that's such a good idea"  
"I aren't going to molest you if that's what you mean!" Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine laughed.  
"Okay, okay, lead the way" In truth Blaine wasn't worried about Kurt molesting him; he was worried about molesting Kurt. How could he keep himself controlled if Kurt was there in his underwear? Blaine didn't know how Kurt felt for him and didn't want to risk their friendship. He was so glad to have a gay friend to talk to, he'd never really gotten on with any of the other gay guys at Dalton and his friends Wes and David, they were nice, they didn't care he was gay and they'd even talk about it with him sometimes but they didn't really get it. Kurt got it. Blaine didn't want to risk that by pouncing on the only person who had ever really truly got it. He wasn't even really sure if he liked Kurt, I mean sure, his breathe hitched when he saw him and he got butterflies and couldn't quite articulate his words properly but still...he admired Kurt and he'd read when you admire someone you can confuse it for love. Kurt was being bullied and needed to know how to deal with it, that's why he needed Blaine. Blaine just needed someone there, someone who understood, and someone who 'got it'.

Kurt was riffling through clothes trying to work out what to wear. Blaine had got ready surprisingly quickly, he had literally walked into Kurt's room slipped his uniform off and his clothes on and brushed his hair. He looked...good. Kurt resented him that, he could get ready in all of 2.5 minutes and still look stunning where as Kurt still had a face pack on and was trying to decide what to wear. Blaine was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans which surprised Kurt; he'd always seen Blaine as a more 'tailored trousers' kind of guy. Blaine also had of a crisp white shirt tucked into his jeans and a black tie. "Skinny jeans?" Kurt asked.  
"I bought them today, don't you like them, I could always take them back"  
"Oh yeah, just take a pair of $300 skinny jeans back to the shop! I'm sure they will love that. You'd never be able to show your face in that shop again"  
"How did you know they were $300"  
"I'm a genius" Kurt winked "anyway I love them, you look amazing, I just didn't think you would wear skinny jeans."  
"It's sort of a joke" Blaine laughed "I thought you'd get it but ah well..."  
"A joke?"  
"Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans be your teenage dream tonight" Blaine sang until Kurt was in stitches.  
"I can't believe I didn't get that" Kurt laughed.  
"I should stop distracting you"  
"what?"  
"We have all of...ten minutes before we have to set off and I'm guessing you aren't going to be ready" Blaine grinned cheekily.  
"You're probably right" Kurt sighed and began to sift through his wardrobe. Kurt eventually decided on a pair of black tailored trousers, a pale blue shirt and his grey sweater vest Blaine had returned to him earlier that day.  
"You look...wow!" Blaine had stated almost breathless "I can't believe...I mean...wow!" Kurt turned round to smile at Blaine when he noticed his copy of vogue magazine in his hands.  
"What are you doing with that?" Kurt snapped.  
"Reading it".  
"YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO TOUCH!" Kurt roared jumping on the bed till they were mock fighting rolling around and giggling. "Give it back!"  
"Never!"  
"If you rip it I will kill you!"  
"Because Kurt needs his ickel-wickel baby to be in PERFECT condition"  
"give it back"  
"I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!" Blaine laughed so freely and unreserved it made Kurt smile. Blaine dropped the magazine on the floor "oops" he said.  
"You. Did. Not. Just. Do. That" Kurt said mocking aggression. He began to tickle Blaine until he was squealing.  
"STOP, STOP! I'm sorry Kurt, I'm really sorry. I surrender" Blaine looked up into Kurt's eyes and Kurt stopped tickling him. Their breathing was heavy, and both immediately regretted their decision to stop fooling around. Kurt was on top of Blaine, Kurt was on top of Blaine, Kurt was on top of Blaine. The atmosphere felt really awkward and neither of them knew what to do they both wanted to kiss each other and they both wanted to run away, both were frozen in their indecision.

Blaine licked his lips and stared into Kurt's eyes he took a deep breath and began to talk. "Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans" said huskily. Kurt blinked, twice, and then slowly a smile began to creep across his face. He ran his hand up Blaine's leg and slowly leaned in lips pursed. Blaine's breathing hitched and his eyes fluttered as he watched Kurt's face get closer and closer to his.  
"WOAH, WOAH, Sorry! I'm really, really sorry!" Finn exclaimed from the doorway before walking out and slamming the door. "Oh, and be safe" he added through the door as an afterthought. Kurt began to laugh but Blaine suddenly looked nervous he pushed Kurt off him and walked towards the door.  
"I'm really sorry Kurt, I...I...thought I could do it but I can't"  
"we weren't doing anything like THAT!"  
"I didn't mean that Kurt. I thought I could kiss you. I thought it's what I wanted but...it's not. I'm sorry, I've got to go" Blaine was stumbling over his words suddenly nervous. Kurt had never seen him this way.  
"What about going out, I thought we were going to the theatre."  
"Some other time, I promise, I just...I just gotta go" Blaine looked Kurt in the eyes and sighed "I really am sorry, I...I...I do like you. I just thought I was ready for this sort of thing but I'm not and...And I've got to go." Blaine opened the door and all but ran out of Kurt's house leaving Kurt alone in his room. All dressed up with nowhere to go. Finn always ruined everything.

"What are you doing back so soon, I thought you were going to the theatre with that spy kid" David looked reluctantly away from his game of COD.  
"Spy kid?"  
"Yeah, Burt, Furt, Murt..."  
"Kurt!"  
"That's the one!" David flashed Blaine a charming smile that everyone in Dalton seemed to posses "Hey what's wrong?" he suddenly noted, his brow creased in confusion. Blaine was sad, really sad.  
"Nothing's wrong" Blaine sighed and rolled his eyes. Something was most definitely wrong.  
"Blaine you can use your, 'I'm so friken adorable and so fricken composed' bullshit with your parents and your teachers but I can see through it so quit patronising me and tell me what's wrong"  
"I don't know David, I...I...I'm..."  
"Confused?"  
"You think?" Blaine chuckled sadly before slumping on his bed "Why do I have to be such a...jerk?"  
"You really like this Kurt kid, you've been talking about him for WEEKS Blaine. I'm sure you haven't messed up too badly."  
"I have!" Blaine sighed "He...We...He was going to kiss me..."  
"Well...THAT'S good."  
"...and I ran away"  
"THAT'S not so good" David smiled "Why'd ya run?"  
"I don't know" Blaine laughed until he began to cry and then looked at his best friend "I was scared"  
"I'll let you in on a secret buddy. Everyone's fricken scared. First kiss with a new person, it's freaky, doesn't matter how many times you've done it before it is still scary"  
"It wasn't scary with..."  
"WE'RE BACK TO HIM AGAIN! Blaine you have to get over him"  
"I am over him...I am. I was just...terrified I'd kiss Kurt wrong. It wouldn't feel nice or special or...something"  
"Look, if you wanted to kiss him. It would have felt like you wanted to kiss him!"  
"That's the point, I don't know if I wanted to kiss him"  
"okay, Blaine, this is going to sound harsh but it's tough love I promise..." David smiled "you have to sort yourself out. You can't string this out and hurt this kid. You have to make up your mind and decide if you want him and you have to do it quickly"  
"I know" Blaine was sobbing now "but what if I can't?"  
"Then you will lose him forever!" David smiled sadly and walked over to his friend. He sat on the bed and put an arm around Blaine.  
"He understands David. He understands everything about being...gay and he understands everything about me and it scares the hell out of me" Blaine was shaking uncontrollably now and David who had seen him at rock bottom had NEVER seen him as bad as this. He wrapped his arms around his weeping friend and pulled him into a bear hug. After a good ten minutes and lot's of soothing sounds coming from David, Blaine was no longer shaking but was crying silently.  
"Errrm..." Blaine began realising his friend was still in his underwear.  
"What?"  
"Do you mind, maybe, getting some clothes on?"  
"Good Idea, I'm meeting Jessica in ten minutes" David bit his lip "I better get a move on"

After David had left to meet his girlfriend Blaine felt incredibly lonely but secretly was rather glad of the silence. He sat in the darkness thinking of what to do. He knew David was right. It wasn't fair for him to string Kurt along behind him until he made up his mind. He had to figure this out, now, preferably. If only it was that easy. He did really like Kurt and he felt for him, he was attracted to him but still...He just wasn't sure. If he went for it what if it went wrong, what if he lost the best friend he's had in years? Could he risk that? But if he didn't go for it with Kurt what if he missed the best relationship he could ever have because he was too scared to step up? This was messed up.


	2. Useless

"Kurt" Finn was knocking on the door "where did Blaine go? I thought you were going out somewhere."  
"He ran away, thanks to you!"  
"THANKS TO ME!" Finn raged "what did I do?"  
"You walked in on us and then you decided to completely humiliate me by telling us to 'be careful'"  
"Woah dude!" Finn barged into Kurt's room "I was just being the cool older brother who was fine with everything but wanted you to be safe. I mean dude I know you're...gay and everything but you can still get S.T.D.'s"  
"Finn my I.Q. is twice the size of yours I think I know that. And anyway we weren't doing anything we were just kissing and you scared him off."  
"You weren't kissing; you were about to"  
"yes rub in my humiliation further"  
"I wasn't trying to ruin the moment"  
"Well you did so..."  
"So what, Kurt? There will be other moments you know"  
"there won't!"  
"How do you know?" Finn said softly.  
"Because...he didn't run away because of you, okay? He ran because he didn't want to kiss me. He realised what he was doing and ran away like a scared little boy muttering something about being sorry and...And I'm so disgusting he can't even look at me"  
"he said that?" Finn almost shouted.  
"Well not that last bit" Kurt reluctantly admitted "but that's what he wanted to say" Kurt was crying now and Finn felt very uncomfortable. In fact saying he felt very uncomfortable would be an understatement.  
"Look you don't know what words were going to come out of that boy's mouth. You can't fabricate a whole other story in your head. Don't beat you up over words he never said"  
"he wanted to say them." Kurt mumbled reluctantly.  
"How do you know?" Finn smiled "why the hell would he want to say something like that to the nicest, friendliest, funniest, most caring guy I know"  
"stop trying to make me feel better. I'm not Rachel, complimenting me will not work."  
"I know you're not Rachel, don't tell her this but...you're so much better Kurt. I mean I love her but I love her because she's a whiny, self centred cow. You are sweet and kind and always look out for me even though most of the time I really don't deserve it"  
"what are you saying? I should turn into a whiny bitch like Rachel?" Kurt pouted.  
"No, I'm saying you are amazing Kurt and if Blaine can't see that...well he doesn't deserve you"  
"you must watch a lot of chick flicks because that Finn Hudson, was some very good advice."  
"Did it cheer you up?" Finn smiled.  
"Not really"  
"Kurt, if he doesn't like you, he is an idiot. Anyway, who says he doesn't like you, maybe he's just screwed up. I can remember when I started going out with Rachel I was scared to even touch her. It's complicated, just give him a chance to get his head around this and..." Kurt's phone started vibrating "and you have a text, what does it say?"  
"I am sorry Kurt, I do like you I promise, I'm just confused and I need some time" Kurt dictated.  
"You see" Finn smiled "stay positive" Finn walked out of Kurt's room and shut the door behind him. Kurt began to text Blaine 'Look, I know this can be...confusing but I'm not going to wait for you forever. I like you Blaine.' Kurt hit send and immediately regretted it. Two seconds later he got a text saying 'sorry X' and felt like a complete idiot. "No I'm sorry, I mean, take as long as you need X'. Kurt surrendered to the tears brewing up inside him. Yes Finn had succeeded in cheering him up for all of two seconds but really Kurt knew, Blain just didn't want to kiss him. Blaine thought he was disgusting and stupid and completely hideous and repugnant.

"I feel like such a jerk" Blaine was complaining to David at around midnight that night "I shouldn't have texted him, he sent back a perfectly reasonable text and I apologised for being an idiot and then...get this...he apologized to me!"  
"Blaine" David grumbled "it's midnight. I have a test in the morning and I am mucho tired. LET ME SLEEP!"  
"It's just..."  
"URGH!"  
"It's just that I feel so stupid. I don't know why I can't be sure."  
"I do" David moaned "It's because life's not that easy dude. It never will be that easy. It likes to screw us over and make us feel completely worthless and basically treat us like garbage. So you don't know whether Kurt is the one for you right now, at this second, so you might not know tomorrow, or the day after that, SO WHAT? One day you'll just know and you just have to hope and pray that when that day comes he will still be there"  
"Night David" Blaine blinked in the darkness. David was right, sort of. He may have over simplified things but Blaine knew what he was getting at. He didn't mean Blaine should stop thinking about Kurt and how he felt towards him. He meant that one day the answer would come to him and he just had to be patient and wait for his head to clear itself out instead of complaining about how sad his life was to everyone. Kurt was nice. He was sweet. He had the most beautiful eyes in the world. He was considerate and loving and he put almost everyone before himself. He was broken and sad and damaged and no one seemed to see it, but Blaine could and that hurt him. He liked the sound of Kurt's laugh and the way his nose wrinkled up. He hated his constant talking though; he wished Kurt would just be quite, just for a second, but he loved that as well because at least there was never any awkward silence. Kurt was nice and he was there. Blaine felt like he could talk to him about anything, about the stuff Wes and David wouldn't understand but at the same time Kurt just felt like...a friend. A really close, really good friend. Part of blain wanted their relationship to move on and go much further but part of Blaine was scared of everything he would lose.

Kurt marched into glee smile plastered on his face and sat in his usual seat, at the back, next to Mercedes. "Hey Kurt" she smiled warmly.  
"Hey"  
"you look happy today" she smiled "it's great to see you happy, you don't smile enough"  
"thanks!" Kurt replied as his stomach twisted into a thousand knots. He loved Mercedes, he really really did but she couldn't even see that he was dying inside. The clouds were falling and the stars losing their twinkle, the grass was going brown and the trees were being chopped down. The metaphors for the way Kurt felt were endless and part of him just wanted to stand up and list them all in some witty, elaborate speech. Even showing off couldn't make Kurt feel better though so there wasn't much point in wasting a speech on how he's dying inside on a bunch of morons who probably wouldn't understand it. As much as he loved his fellow glee club members most of them weren't the smartest bunch of people in the world.  
"Mr. Schue, I have an idea of a song I would like to sing for sectionals from the Broadway musical wicked. I know its popularity is huge and that is why I think it would be perfect. Our competition will be reluctant to sing it in fear of being compared to the stars yet I would be more than happy to be compared to such outstanding performers because..."  
"Rachel, just sing the song already" Santana moaned.  
"Okay, this is called I'm not that girl" the music began to play and Rachel belted out every note pitch perfect and put her heart into the song. Kurt sat blinking back tears. Why did he ever think Blaine would go for someone like him? Blaine would want someone strong, tall, black hair, handsome, more macho, Kurt was not that man. Kurt was not even anywhere near a man. He was a boy and it killed him that Blaine would never look at him in that way, like he loved him, because he wasn't perfect.  
"Kurt?" Mercedes whispered.  
"What?" Kurt croaked.  
"You're crying"  
"oh" Kurt swallowed multiple times and began to swat away tears but they kept coming thick and fast he just couldn't control them. Rachel stopped singing and all eyes were on him but he couldn't pull himself together. He just felt exposed and embarrassed. He was desperately trying to stop the tears but his brain wouldn't communicate with his eyes. "I'm sorry" he mumbled "I don't know what's come over me"  
"was it something to do with my song choice..."  
"Of course it wasn't Rachel stop being so vain" Santana rolled her eyes.  
"Sesame Street used to make me cry" Brittany said seriously "it was the freaky puppets, are you thinking about Sesame Street, Kurt?"  
"Why would he be thinking about Sesame Street?" Puck laughed "he's probably just thinking about how sad his stupid little life is" Kurt began to howl "sorry man, I was just joking"  
"well it isn't helping, is it?" Mercedes said loudly.  
"NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING! NONE OF YOU EVEN WANT TO HELP!" Kurt screamed finally unable to grit his teeth and bear it.  
"Kurt?" Artie said genuinely upset.  
"NO! IT IS MY TURN TO TALK" Kurt continued to rage "you all sit there telling me how happy I look. Ignoring the ignoramuses who shove me into lockers and punch me and call me a lady. You ignore all of that and then pretend you're my best friends. Well news flash: best friends look out for each other. I can't remember the last time any of you talked to me, about me, about my feelings because this glee club is far to self obsessed, isn't it? If we aren't talking about what we are going to sing for sectionals, we're arguing about who's going to sing it. Selling ourselves saying we are the best singer here when we all know that's Rachel. Even Rachel knows she's the best singer here and she will never EVER let us forget that. So we watch her jealous and angry that she's always going to be the first choice to sing a solo and she is always going to sing it better than we ever could. She doesn't even appreciate the fact she can sing better than the rest of us. We are all worthless in comparison to her talent wise. And looks wise, I mean, how are you girls ever going to look better then Quinn, it isn't possible and I mean, us guys are never going to look better than Finn, or Sam. Tina and Mike are interesting because they're Asian witch sounds racist but that's how it is. I mean everyone here has something SPECIAL. Something I resent and look up to and they don't even appreciate it I have absolutely nothing..."  
"Kurt" Finn said "You are being to harsh on yourself and you are being to harsh on everyone in this room!"  
"And we are supposed to appreciate being Asian?" Tina asked "Kurt it's nothing special I was just born this way"  
"yeah steeped in culture"  
"Kurt, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Mr Schue started "you don't appreciate all the things you have yet your giving the rest of us a lecture on how we don't appreciate ourselves!"  
"What exactly do I have that I should appreciate?" Kurt snorted.  
"Half the boys in this class would kill to have your vocal range"  
"but then they'd be lumbered forever with this squeaky voice that goes hand in hand with that."  
"they would love your fashion sense"  
"that's hardly a talent, just research"  
"stop putting yourself down" Mr Schue said loudly "we are meant to be rehearsing and you are ruining it for everyone else"  
"because that's what I do Mr Schue, I ruin everything for everyone!" Kurt cried storming out of the quire room still crying profusely.  
"I'll go talk to him" Mercedes said.  
"NO!" Finn shouted "you guys heard what he said, when we the last time any of you asked him how he felt. Mercedes?"  
"I can't remember"  
"Quinn?"  
"Never"  
"Puck? Artie? Tina? Sam? Anyone?" everyone shook their heads. "Well I asked him how he felt yesterday and you know what? He feel useless, worthless, alone and misunderstood. It's not any of our faults but we should still try and make it right. I'm going to talk to him because I cared before his big speech where as you care because of it. Guilt doesn't last forever" Finn followed Kurt out of the room leaving the whole quire room in shock.  
"Since when did he turn into such a buzz kill?" Santana deadpanned.


	3. Dear Examiner

Talk from the narrator's point of view about the significant events witch happen in chapters 14 to 16.

Dear Examiner,

I am not going to lie to you. I haven't read the book. My mind has being occupied by something else lately. So you have two choices, you can read this letter where I tell you about me and what I'm thinking or you can give me a U and move on. I know writing all this rubbish down isn't going to get me a good mark or anything like that, I understand you can't fabricate me an essay and give me a false mark. I'm here though; stuck in this dull, grey room for 45 minutes and well...I might as well do something. Maybe you should read this; it might be a refreshing break from all those tightly structured essays you have to mark.

My name is Blaine and I go to Dalton (I don't know if examiners are told witch school they are marking for...now you know anyway). There is this boy. He's called Kurt. He is amazing. The best singer I have ever had the pleasure of hearing. His hair is always in this perfect quiff which I guess he thinks is very fashion forward but I think it's cute. It's like he's trying to break away from the norm of teenage life and purposely trying to look older and more mature. Truth is though he's just a boy.

He is just a boy and he can't see that or he won't accept that. It's like he's trying to act so sure of himself but he just isn't. He's been bullied you see, by these jocks at his school, pig-headed ignorant jocks, bullying him for being gay. I mean how pathetic is that? I think, he thinks it's his fault because he just takes it. He doesn't attempt to stop it. I told him to try to stop the bullies once, not so long ago, and one of the jocks...well...he kissed him. Ever since that point I've just seen Kurt retreat further and further into his shell. I feel like it's my fault. If I hadn't have encouraged him to preach gay-awareness he wouldn't have had his first kiss stolen from him in such a way.

I want him to be happy. He's a nice kid and he deserves happiness but he always acts so mature...I think he needs to be a kid for a while to appreciate that there is nothing wrong with acting goofy every now and again. The thing is I can't lecture him on acting too old for his age because...well that would make me a total hypocrite. I act too old for my age. My mum has always told me I act like an old man. I'm always very composed and relatively confident, I like wearing trousers instead of jeans or jogging bottoms. I like shirts better then polo shirts and t-shirts. If you're wearing a shirt you HAVE to wear a tie, you just do, I hate it when people wear shirts without ties, it's just wrong. That means I'm pretty much smartly dressed all the time. I don't slouch, I eat my food with a knife and fork all good and proper, I like reading and listening to old music on the radio. I don't act like a kid myself so I can't tell Kurt he needs to loosen up.

I don't act like a kid because that's me. It's my personality, I've never liked rock music and grilled cheese sandwiches, and I've never been that guy. I have a feeling that Kurt acts mature because he can't be a kid, not because he doesn't want to be. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and it makes me sad that gay people have to put up with so much prejudice that it forces them to have to act in a different way.

I admire him. To take all that flack and all that shit and just walk away, rise above it. I love how he can just act like stuff isn't effecting him and like it's all sunshine and buttercups and roses and puppy dogs and any other cute image. When he's with me though, all this stuff I've been talking about, this façade he puts on for the bullies and his dad, this mask he wears slips and I see the real him. I feel privileged that he allows me to see the real him. I like it how he can act like a teenager around me and be a kid again. He even makes me feel like a kid, I feel comfortable just laughing and shouting and talking about stupid things. The other day we were having a serious discussion about Lady Gaga. I mean me, talking about Lady Gaga; I'm much more of a Frank Sinatra man. He asked me my opinion on Ke$ha, like I should actually HAVE an opinion on her. Why should I have an opinion on Ke$ha. Well I listened to her stuff and I thought it was delightfully insane. All those people who say she can't sing are just jealous. I mean I don't think she can sing...she sort of talks...but so did Johnny Cash. The thing is she'll get a career out of making catchy tunes and being gloriously eccentric and I think that something we should be proud of. Pop stars like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha and Katy Perry who show the world it's good to be weird. Being normal is boring.

We are singing Katy Perry in the warblers and I'm singing lead. I was sort of nervous at first but once I found my feet I think I sang pretty well. The first time I sang that song well was when Kurt had come to spy on our gLee club. He said he was new to our school but it was obvious he wasn't. He didn't have a room or a roommate, we'd have known about a new arrival. I knew he was probably spying but I didn't really care, I just took his hand and led him to wear we were practising. Then I sang like my life depended on it, trying to impress this cute boy with the beautiful eyes and over gelled hair. I really like him. I really do. There is just something about him that makes me feel happy, alive and free. I'm just scared.

We were together the other day at his house just acting like kids. I was wearing jeans and everything, I never wear jeans. We were rolling around on the bed tickling each other and laughing so hard I thought I'd bust a gut. Then it stopped and we were just lying on top of each other. Well he was lying on top of me. I was just really nervous and I didn't know what to do or what to say. My heart was pounding so hard I'm pretty sure he could hear it. My throat felt like it had a huge dry lump in it so I started swallowing furiously trying to get rid of it. My lips felt really dry so I licked them and then I said, in my husky voice (due to the lump in my throat that would not leave) "let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight". I don't know why I said it and I immediately regretted it I just sat there thinking of how much of an idiot I am. Then his hand was on my leg and my breathing slowed and started hitching. Then he was running it up my body and his face was getting closer. I felt my eyelids flutter and my breathing started to speed up and...

His brother. He interrupted us. Just walked in and was all like "sorry..." or something, I don't know I'm too embarrassed to remember really. He walked out and shouted something about being careful. Kurt was laughing but I was having a mini panic attack. His brother had walked in on us about to kiss and walked out thinking we were about to have mad crazy sex. I could no longer breathe and the walls were closing in so I jumped up and well...I ran away. Because I am a complete idiot.

I don't know why I did it. When I was lying on the bed all I wanted was for his lips to touch mine. I was the reason he had his first kiss with an idiot jock. He didn't deserve me as his second kiss. I'm not good enough for him. He's a mate, he can make me come out of my shell, make me act like a kid for a while. I love him for that. I don't love him in that way though and even though I want him to be my boyfriend I really aren't sure whether I should just leave him be.

I've nearly run out of time so I guess I should wrap this up. If you have read this far you are a star, I mean reading a gay teenage boys sad drivel of a life is hardly interesting. This helped me more than I thought it would. I need to see Kurt, Explain to him why I ran and how I feel. Tell him I need a friend, and he needs a friend. We need to be mates because we just get each other completely and we have a load of fun together, we need to act stupid every now and again. I hope I can make this up to him. All I can say is thank god this is only a mock test because I have failed so miserably, but I've sorted part of my life out. So it's been a success if I look at it from that point of view. Thank you for reading this, I don't know who you are but I do hope your life is going well and you don't feel as useless as I do.

Yours Sincerely,

Blaine.

"Blaine" Wes was shouting "Hey bro, how did the test go?"  
"Excellent"  
"Really?" David said appearing beside them "you weren't smiling with that mad glint in your eye like you usually do in exams"  
"yeah, you looked sort of lost." Was laughed.  
"I once was lost but now I'm found"  
"you turning into a god bother-er, dude?" David snorted.  
"NO! I've failed that exam though"  
"you were scribbling away" David said his brow creased.  
"Yeah, I'm sure you did fine"  
"I didn't even read the book guys" Blaine tutted.  
"well what the hell were you writing then"  
"a letter, to the examiner, just telling him about Kurt."  
"what?"  
"I know, it sounds mad but, I was stuck in that room so I thought I might as well write something. Anything to pass the time. So I started writing a letter, just like a general letter then I found I was pouring my heart out to a guy...or girl...that I don't even know"  
"well...you've failed" David said.  
"Yeah, but it was only a mock so don't beat yourself up over it" Wes smiled.  
"I'm not. It kind of helped me figure some stuff out. I still don't know what to do about Kurt but what I do know is I should tell him how I'm feeling. Reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong. I mean I ran out on him. He must be feeling awful. I never thought of that until now"  
"Harsh man, you ran out on him?" Wes asked.  
"Oh sorry, I forgot I didn't tell you yet" Blaine smiled sadly "I will tell you later, there is just something I need to do first, see you later"  
"see ya"  
"bye"

Blaine went round the corner and got out his phone, he sent Kurt a text. 'I need to talk to you, can we meet up. I am sorry for being a jerk, I get it if you don't want to talk, but there is something I need to say. X'

'Okay, sure, when? Where? X' was the short response he got mere seconds later.

'I'll pick you up after school today if that's okay? Meet you in the car park? X' Blaine hastily texted.

'K' Kurt texted back. Blaine hated that, one letter, a single letter. He couldn't even be bothered to type OK or Okay. Just one letter. Was Kurt being short with him on purpose? Or was he just reading too far into things like always?


	4. The Car Ride

This is really short...But a short chapter is better than no chapter at all right? :) Thanks for all the reviews I've received so far I really do appreciate them. Any spelling mistakes in chapters aren't intentional; I noticed I've put "Blain" instead of "Blaine" a few times in the second chapter and other small mistakes. It's just because I don't proof read so thanks a lot for ignoring stuff like that. Hope you enjoy 'The Car Ride'. Sorry again for the shortness.

Blaine waited by his car in the parking lot. He was really terrified and honestly did not know how Kurt was going to react to his little speech. Yes he had prepared a speech. He just hoped Kurt would listen and not butt in. Blaine knew if Kurt started asking questions he would rather brake down crying or worse, run...again.  
"Hey" Kurt said walking over looking a little sad. Finn was staring at them giving Blaine the dead eyes.  
"Hey...errm, what's his problem?" Blaine asked nodding at Finn who mimed slitting his throat.  
"What do you think?" Kurt rolled his eyes and got into Blaine's car.  
"Oh...right" Blaine sighed and went to sit at the driver's seat.  
"So, where are we going?"  
"I thought we'd go back to my place..."  
"Yeah take me to Dalton that'd be real clever, make everyone think I'm spying"  
"firstly, you've already spied on our glee club and we didn't say anything. Secondly that's not what I meant. Come to my house, like not my school where I technically 'live' but my mum's house that I go to at weekends and when I'm bored of my meathead friends"  
"That's not very nice"  
"I'm joking Kurt" Blaine sighed "maybe it isn't appropriate"  
"maybe..."  
"Kurt!" Blaine said sternly "I'm nervous, I've invited you to my house, I'm going to make you lunch and I want to tell you exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. I don't want you to leave thinking that I ran out on you because...of you. I didn't. I don't want to explain this here, while I'm driving because it'll be rushed and the words will come out wrong. I want to do this properly Kurt, I respect you and I want you to hear what I have to say...properly...I'm nervous"  
"you think?" Kurt laughed "I didn't understand half that speech it was so jumbled up. I do appreciate the sentiment though"  
Blaine let a smile cross his face and looked at Kurt. "I don't know what to say"  
"neither do I"  
"how's your week been?"  
"Good. You?"  
"Fantastic" Blaine said sarcastically "you going to elaborate on 'good'?"  
"No. Are you going to elaborate on 'fantastic'?"  
"Later."  
"Okay" Kurt sighed "this is pathetic"  
"what?" Blaine asked genuinely confused.  
"Well, I don't know what to say because I don't know if I should be mad at you or not. And you don't know what to say because you don't know if I'm mad at you or not"  
Blaine started laughing "Very perceptive, yes, I'm not sure whether you are angry with me, and I guess you don't know whether you have a reason to be mad at me. I assure you that personally I don't think anything I'm going to say will make you mad or offend you, it certainly isn't intended too. It's just...I think it's important that I tell you all my feelings properly in a nice environment, I don't want to blurt them out here."  
"Do you know that would be our couple name?"  
"WHAT?"  
"I'm not saying we are a couple, don't worry, I just mean if we were a couple, we'd be called Blurt...or Klaine"  
"oh...yeah... I don't get it" Blaine admitted.  
"Brangelina? Surely you've heard that before?"  
"errm..."  
"It's a combination of two people's names in a relationship. Brad plus Angelina equals Brangelina"  
"Oh I get it"  
"Rachel and Finn are known as Finnchel and Rachel used to go out with Puck and they were PuckleBerry"  
"WOAH woah woah...confused again" Blaine stated.  
"Well Puck's surname is Puckerman and Rachel's is Berry"  
"so they are Puckleberry...Where did the 'le' come from"  
Kurt shrugged "the end of Rachel I guess"  
"I'm sorry but that makes no sense"  
"It makes perfect sense"  
"No, take it from an outsider to the concept of couple names, NO . SENSE ."  
"Bless you" Kurt sneered.  
"I thought you didn't believe in god" Blaine retorted.  
"I don't"  
"Well don't bless me you hypocrite"  
"That is not what I meant" Kurt said affronted.  
"Oh I know exactly what you meant. So what I don't understand celebrity names?"  
" There isn't anything wrong with that"  
"so why say 'bless' in that completely condescending tone and look at me like I'm dirt?"  
"Because...Look you aren't the only one who's nervous okay? I'm sitting here not knowing where we are going..."  
"My mum's house" Blaine interrupted.  
"I know that smart ass, I don't know WHERE your mum's house is. I'm sitting here not knowing where we are going and I don't know what you are going to say. If your going to reject me or ask me out or insult me or compliment me and...Yeah I guess I am mad at you. Mad at you for making me feel so...lost and confused. I feel like it's my fault, like I've done something wrong."  
"you haven't"  
"I know I haven't" Kurt sighed "I just don't know if you think I have"  
"I don't" Blaine whispered reassuringly "I don't think you've done anything wrong...you've just been yourself"  
"Yeah...and that's obviously not good enough for you"  
"Kurt. I don't want to discuss this here."  
"Whatever..."  
"Kurt, please...we are only ten minutes away from my mum's place. Talk to me, don't make this more awkward than it already is"  
Kurt turned Blaine's car stereo up to full blast and crossed his arms. The journey continued in silence.


	5. It's too Late

"So this is it" Blaine said getting out of the car. Kurt got out of the passenger seat and eyed the big house in front of him.  
"It isn't much, I don't know if it's what you were expecting"  
"I thought it would be a bit bigger" Kurt stated trying to sound unimpressed. Really Kurt had never imagined what Blaine's house would look like and this house, compared to his own, was huge. A wolf whistling sound came from across the street.  
"HEY FAG" a tall, tough looking boy shouted.  
"Hello Jason" Blaine replied, to anyone else he would look completely unaffected but Kurt saw his muscles tense and his jaw clasp shut...he was...nervous.  
"What you doing here fag?" Jason strolled casually across the street.  
"Just came to visit my mother"  
"well, she isn't in, is she?"  
"It's my house Jason, I am welcome here" Blaine spoke quietly looking at the pavement.  
"Well maybe you and your boyfriend should go somewhere else."  
"I am not his boyfriend" Kurt said fiercely.  
"But...but...you're gay, right?"  
"Yeah" Kurt said, "I'm gay...and...I'm actually kind of cold, can we go inside please?"  
"oh so you can warm up having crazy bum sex"  
"HE ISN'T MY BOYFRIEND" Blaine screamed suddenly "and even if he was, why would I have sex with him in my house when my mum will be home in half an hour?"  
"Oh Blaine, Daltons made you a brave little boy hasn't it?" Jason said softly walking further towards him "Lulled you into a false sense of security, because Blaine, baby" Jason cupped Blaine's chin and got close to his face. Blaine was frozen to the spot, shaking, he looked terrified. Jason's face kept getting closer to Blaine's, so much so that Kurt thought he was going to kiss him. Jason spat in Blaine's face and laughed "You're not in Dalton now, you're in the real world where gays are seen as a freak of nature."  
"At least you admit I'm a freak of nature."  
"What?"  
"Well that would insinuate that you don't believe I choose to be gay but I was made this way."  
"Ha well yeah, god made you gay so he can laugh at your dirty sinning ass when he sends you to hell"  
"Blaine can we just go inside all ready and leave this idiot to himself" Kurt rolled his eyes.  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Jason looked straight at Kurt but his grip tightened on Blaine's face.  
"Don't hurt him!" Blaine shouted.  
"What you gunna do about if I do, Nancy?"  
"PLEASE" Blaine cried "PLEASE just don't hurt him" Jason let go of Blaine's face and stepped back slightly.  
"I wasn't planning on hurting him..." Jason smiled then punched Blaine hard in the chest. Blaine crumpled to the ground winded.  
"See you later lady boys" Jason winked "Oh and by the way, we are missing you at school"  
"Missing using me as a punching bag" Blaine hissed through gritted teeth.  
"That's what I said, isn't it? Anyway have fun at Dalton" Jason said that so calmly as he walked away it sent a shiver down Kurt's spine.  
"Are you okay Blaine?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine" Blaine gasped. He stood up with difficulty. "Let's go inside"  
"What was that?"  
"It was nothing" Blaine smiled sadly "Just...an old friend"  
"Yeah an old friend who calls you a fag, spits in your face and punches you so hard it winds you?"  
"Leave it Kurt"  
"What about courage?"  
"What about it?" Blaine said sternly "I know I'm a hypocrite for making you stand up to your enemies when I do nothing about mine, but now you must be able to see the amount of respect I have for you for standing up to Karofsky when I freeze every time I so much I look at Jason"  
"I thought you were strong" Kurt laughed bitterly walking through Blaine's front door and slumping on the lounge couch. "I thought you were like, my gay mentor or something. I thought nothing could get to you and you were brave but really...you're just a scared little boy aren't you."  
"Kurt please" Blaine whispered notably hurt.  
"No, that's fine; you're allowed to be scared. I just meant, I've being hero worshiping you, making you into a god and really, you're just a boy."  
"Yeah...Well, yeah" Blaine was scratching his arm "Can I tell you what I came here to tell you about now?"  
"I want to know about these bullies!"  
"Kurt, I will tell you at some point but...it isn't really the time."  
"Okay" Kurt breathed in. "Why am I here Blaine?"  
"I told you I wanted to explain...how I'm feeling."  
"Explain away"  
"I don't know where to start"  
"well..." Kurt sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He knew he was acting like a jerk but he had good reason to be acting like a jerk. He wanted to know why his friend had been treating him like dirt.  
"I'll make some coffee."  
"Okay"

Blaine walked in and handed Kurt a mug of black coffee. He sat back on the sofa and sighed then suddenly blurted out "I LIKE YOU KURT"  
"So you keep saying."  
"I really like you. I think you're clever and smart and funny and beautiful and witty and...and...Amazing. Even the things I don't like about you, for instance your inability to keep your mouth shut, when you're friends with me anyway, well I still love those things."  
Kurt smiled slightly "But..."  
"But, I'm confused, I like you but, you're my friend and I don't want to ruin that Kurt...I don't want to risk losing you"  
"but you wouldn't be..."  
"So you can guarantee me if we started going out if we split up we'd still be friends. Like proper friends."  
"No. We would most likely be on amicable terms though."  
"I don't want to be on amicable terms Kurt. I want to be like we were, laughing and joking a free and friendly and..."  
"Do you want to kiss me?"  
"What?"  
"You heard what I said..."  
"Well...y-y-yes" Blaine blushed.  
"Well, newsflash, if we keep things like they were. If we go back to be friends, you will never be able to kiss me"  
"I can live with that"  
"Well...I don't think I can"  
"wait..."  
"NO BLAINE! It is my turn now; I feel cheated out of my first kiss. You said my kiss with Karofsky didn't count because I didn't kiss him back, then I got so close, so so close to having my first kiss with you. Someone I have a huge crush on, someone I actually LIKE. I'm obviously not good enough for you. If I was good enough you wouldn't have ran away."  
"No, Kurt you're perfect"  
"obviously not. I'm worthless and stupid and useless and...I'm obviously one of the most repugnant things you have ever seen"  
"No Kurt, I just explained how much I like you!"  
"Yeah, you don't like me enough to kiss me; I got that bit" Kurt whispered "Look did you ever think of how running out on me would make me feel."  
"Yes Kurt, yes...that's why I'm trying to explain."  
"You're not doing a good job of it"  
"I know"  
"your reason is that you were scared. That's it, you were scared. Everyone entering into a new relationship is scared Blaine. I mean GOD do you not think I felt the same way. Then Finn decides to walk in and I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Still though, I was with this gorgeous boy who wanted to kiss me and even though...even though I was scared. I was super excited. I was excited that finally, finally I'd found someone that I liked and surprisingly he liked me back."  
"That's how I felt to. That's how I feel now." Blaine pleaded.  
"Yes but Blaine. You ran away, your still running away now really" Kurt whispered "Making excuses"  
"Kurt" Blaine whispered. Kurt stood up and began to walk towards the door "KURT I WANT TO KISS YOU"  
"what?"  
"I want to kiss you...now"  
Kurt smiled sadly "yeah well, it's just a little bit too late now isn't it?"  
"KURT!" Blaine screamed as Kurt walked out of the door. "Please" He whispered to himself before breaking down into tears. That went well.  
"BLAINE!" His mother shouted walking in "That boy who just bumped into me out there, crying his little eyes out better not be this Kurt Hummel you've been banging on and on about. What the hell have you done this time?"


	6. Parental Guidance

A/N I've put Mum a lot in this chapter. I know in America they say 'Mom' but it just feels weird to type Mom sooo, Just pretend it says Mom ;) hope you enjoy! Xx

Kurt opened the door of his Dads car and slid into the passenger seat with red rimmed eyes.  
"What were you doing all the way out here Kurt...?"  
"I was at a friend's" Kurt sniffed.  
"Yeah and your friend can drive you an hour away from our house in the car and then leave you here?"  
"You're over exaggerating Dad"  
"okay, 45 minutes?"  
"Look, we were just talking, I thought I'd get a lift back but we had a little...disagreement. So I called you."  
"Okay" Burt Hummel sniffed; he tapped his fingers impatiently on the dash board "Now are you going to tell me whets really happened?"  
"I had a fight...with a friend..."  
"Yeah, aha, and...?" Burt pulled the car out off the curb and began to drive.  
"And...Dad honest that's all we had a bit of a fight and I felt uncomfortable staying there any longer"  
"what was this fight about?"  
"DAD WHAT'S WITH THE THIERD DEGREE?"  
"I can tell my boys upset. I'm your Dad, Kurt. I want to help you. I never ever want to see you crying."  
"He's just a friend Dad, and we had a disagreement. He's just a friend and it's made it damn well clear that is all he will ever be so...there isn't anything I can do about it now is there? I just over reacted"  
"KURT!" Burt shouted.  
"Fine...fine." Kurt sighed "a few nights ago, we were having a laugh and...Don't freak out...I was going to kiss him..."  
Burt coughed slightly shocked "I'm okay...carry on" he croaked.  
" are you sure? I can always talk to Carole later"  
"You are going to talk to me Kurt; I wasn't expecting you to say that, that's all. I get that your gay and you're going to be kissing other boys, it honestly does not bother me. Well it bothers me a little bit...but only a little bit"  
Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes "well anyway, we were going to kiss and Finn walked in"  
"awkward" Burt said slowly. Kurt doubled over in stitches and looked at his Dad.  
"I know right...anyway this boy, he chickened out. He said he was sorry and he thought he was ready but he wasn't and...Well...I met up with him today. He just rattled off all this rubbish about being scared..."  
"well, it's perfectly natural to be scared when entering into a relationship"  
"yeah Dad, I know all that it's just...if you let your fear hold you back and your too scared to even take a little leap of faith you're never going to get anywhere in this life."  
"Have you ever considered Kurt that with this 'leap of faith' as you say? Maybe this boy has a lot further to jump than you."  
"What are you getting at Dad?" Kurt rolled his eyes.  
" well, let's take this little cliff metaphor to its full extent. When you look down maybe it's only four feet and there's mattresses and pillows and cuddly toys. When he looks down maybe its twenty feet and at the bottom there are swords and sharp spikes and...and...whatever the hell else you'd find in a horror movie."  
"I still don't quite get where you're going with this Dad"  
"sheesh" Burt rolled his eyes "and I thought you were the smart one"  
"I am it's just your metaphors make no sense"  
"Okay. Okay. Look, you look at this boy and you see everything positive, everything amazing that your future will hold and you want to take your relationship further. That means you want to kiss him because you can only see this utopia waiting for you. What if he's looking at the Negative, huh? What if this happens and what if he breaks up with me and what if I'm a bad kisser and... It's going to be a little harder for him to make that leap of faith if he's so wrapped up in the idea of this dystopia."  
"Errm" Kurt sighed.  
"You still don't get it?"  
"Yeah...I sort of do"  
"Look, I'm not making excuses for the kid but, I can remember what it was like to be your age even if it was decades ago. It's confusing and it's scary and if you like this kid Kurt, I mean if you really like him, you can't let this ruin it for you. Don't think about yourself Kurt. Try and see things from his perspective. "  
"Thanks Dad" Kurt whispered "I think that's why he wanted to explain how he felt. So I wouldn't feel bad, so I'd understand it wasn't my fault and...Give him a break...Oh god"  
"Don't worry about it Kurt, things like this, they sort themselves out"  
"I acted like a jerk towards him Dad. Like a really proper jerk"  
"well, maybe he just needs to see things from your perspective. If he's a smart kid, he'll work it out in the end" Burt smiled at his son who smiled sadly back up at him.  
"Has anyone ever told you that you're the best Dad in the world?"  
"You have thousands of times!"  
"Well...never forget it"  
"so, you're okay now?"  
"Not completely, I mean he's still treated me badly and I'm not going to let him get away with it that easily but I think I know how he might have been feeling now. I need to understand he's a person with feelings to and his feelings matter just as much as mine do. I'm still mad at him but...now I can sympathise"  
"I'm proud of you Kurt, have I ever told you that?"  
"yes you have." Kurt laughed dryly "thousands of times"  
"You're a smart kid" Burt smiled "Now, takeout food?"  
"NO DAD!" Kurt shouted "We are eating healthily, remember your heart!"  
"How could I forget" Burt almost growled and Kurt smiled at his Dad.  
"Hey mister, I don't want you going anywhere"  
"I don't want to go anywhere either kiddo" Burt sighed "But you never know do you?"  
"Don't say that Dad" Kurt whispered.  
"Look Kurt, I am sticking to my diet, I'm doing really well and I do hope to stick around for a lot longer. You know as well as I do though, life is short and it could be over at anytime. Kurt it's been bugging me...if I go..."  
"Dad..."  
"Look I said if Kurt, if." Burt blinked a few times "You'll be okay wont you kiddo. Now you've got Carole and Finn and all your friends...you'll be safe"  
"yes Dad...I suppose I would. I'd miss the hell out of you though" Kurt started crying "I love you Dad"  
"I love you to kiddo" Burt said tearing up himself "we won't talk about it again, I just needed to know. Piece of mind you know?"  
"Yeah Dad, yeah I know" Kurt smiled and put his hand on his Dad's knee "you are the most important thing in the world to me."  
"Wow, a teenager saying that to his Dad...you must have a sad life" Burt and Kurt began to laugh together "But no seriously Kurt. I'm proud of you. Really proud. You are the most important thing to me on this world, and I'm sure Carole wont mind me saying that because she's got Finn. We've been through a lot together haven't we kid?"  
"Lodes"  
"would you change any of it?" Burt sighed "If you could?"  
"I don't know" Kurt answered honestly "I'd like to have Mum back and I think I'd have told you I was gay a little sooner but...no because those two things, they were really big, life changing moment's for me and if they'd have happened at any other time, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Anyway...this conversation is far too soppy..."Kurt smiled at his father and turned the stereo on. The wicked soundtrack blast out from the CD player and Kurt smiled giddily.  
"Oh dear god" his Father shook his head and laughed "do you know what? I wouldn't change a thing either."  
"Dad, stop talking, Idina Menzel is singing"

"Blaine, was that Kurt?" Blaine's Mum said hands on hips.  
"Yes" Blaine spoke quietly trying to hide the fact he was crying.  
"Then why was he storming out of this house crying his eyes out? I thought you liked him!"  
"I do Mum it's just..."  
"Just what?"  
"I'M SCARED! Why do I keep having to tell everyone I'm scared!"  
"Maybe because you don't admit how you're feeling enough Blaine. Maybe because I don't know how you act when you're scared because you've never really made it apparent before and maybe...wait are you crying?"  
"I've blown it Mum, I've totally blown my chance with him"  
"Oh come here you big lump!" Blaine's Mum walked towards him arms spread wide. She sat next to him on the sofa, pulled him onto her knee and swaddled him in her arms.  
"Well done, you have succeeded in making me feel about two years old" Blaine Mumbled into her chest.  
"Well done, you have succeeded in looking about two years old"  
"don't forget acting like a two year old. I've done that two"  
"explain...from the beginning?"  
"It's okay" Blaine said trying to wrestle himself out of his Mums death grip "I have to sort this out myself"  
"Blaine, you trying to sort this out yourself is what got you into this mess in the first place" She held him tighter until he relaxed in her arms and started weeping.  
"It's just well...we were at Kurt's house and we were, fooling around and he...well he was about to kiss me but...I freaked out and ran away"  
"well that would make a boy feel unwanted"  
"I know. It was stupid it was just a split second thing and it was over and then...well I didn't really know what I felt for him. I like him Mum, I really do it's just. He understands me. I can talk to him about everything and anything and I don't want to lose that I don't want to mess up."  
"You can't be scared of stuff like that happening before you've even tried to make it work"  
"Mum, I'm not good enough for him. I mean what if I kissed him wrong, what if it didn't feel right or special or...something"  
"you've had boyfriends before Blaine...none of this has bothered you before"  
"None of them have been like Kurt" Blaine Mumbled.  
"Oh my god... you're in love" She laughed.  
"You're not listening to me. If I was in love I wouldn't have this problem. The problem is I don't know how I feel about him."  
"Blaine, people tell you when you're in love, you just know, you can just feel it but you know what?"  
"What?"  
"They are pretentious bone headed idiots who wouldn't know what love was if it bit them in the backside" Blaine's Mum smiled down at him and sighed "the thing is about love is it's scary, it's confusing and you're never going to understand it no matter how hard you try. You've got to go get that boy! Tell him you've been an idiot and you like him and you want to be with him. Do something damn special to rectify what you've done wrong"  
"what if...?"  
"Blaine stop it right now with the hypothetical crap"  
"okay"  
"Look baby, you have to live for today because you honestly do not know what will happen tomorrow. Have I ever told you about Justin?"  
"Who?"

"He was my next door neighbour, when I was a bit younger than you, and I adored him. He had the biggest brown eyes and the blondest hair in the world. He was just perfect and I fancied him so much. He liked me too and we got along like a house on fire. We'd always be teasing each other and flirting and... Anyway he had a girlfriend and she was beautiful. I knew he fancied me even though he had this girlfriend. We flirted all the time and i didn't really give a crap about her but once, we were just, messing about and we ended up kissing. He looked at me and told me he was going to dump his girlfriend so we could be together and I suddenly felt so guilty. I wanted him more than anything else on this planet but he was taken. I knew he wanted me more than her but I just felt so awful I told him not to. I told him that I'd never liked him and it was just a kiss it didn't mean anything. It had meant something to me and I knew it had meant something to him...anyway" Blaine's Mum sighed wistfully "three weeks later he was hit by a truck and he died. I've always felt guilty, not for his murder because even if i was going out with him I couldn't have stopped that accident. I felt guilty for depriving him of that kiss, for making out I felt nothing when I felt everything. I felt guilty that when he died he was with a girlfriend he didn't even love. I still feel guilty about it sometimes. I know it was a long time ago, and I know it was petty and innocent and I know he wasn't the one because your Dad is the one. Blaine, I didn't seize the day. I didn't do what I wanted to do and that boy, well he died thinking I didn't appreciate him. I want you to seize everyday Blaine. I don't want you to feel guilty"

Blaine blinked and sat up, he hugged his mother and they sat wrapped in each other's arms crying. "Oh I'm being silly"  
"you're not Mum" Blaine whispered.  
"Yes I am, it's over now, it's been over for years and years..."  
"That doesn't mean that it's any less important. He was a part of your life. It's natural to feel sad"  
"so...Blaine, you're going to go and win that boy back?"  
Blaine smiled and nodded "yes Mum, defiantly, I...I...I think I love him"  
"Well, it's about time you realised it!"  
"I know" Blaine laughed and his Mum joined in.  
"you're going to have to do something special!"  
"I think I've got just the thing..." Blaine smiled "I'm going to go to bed now though, if you don't mind, I'm tired"  
"what about dinner?"  
"I aren't hungry"  
"okay, night night Blaine, I love you"  
"Love you too Mum" Blaine smiled to himself. He was in love, how did it take him this long to realise it. He knew now exactly what he had to do.


	7. Teenage Dream

"Come on David...please...I'll pay you! I'll pay you in...Sweets" Blaine was pleading with his roommate.  
"What kind of sweets?"  
"REDVINES!" Blaine said his face lighting up.  
"OH HELL NO! You do know you're the only one who like's those things, right?"  
"You're joking they are genius...oh you're not joking...hmm, sherbet, lots and lots of sherbet"  
"throw in some lollies and you've got a deal"  
"yes, yes I promise! Now get up!" Blaine grabbed David's arms and dragged him out of bed.  
"OUCH" David yelled playfully when he hit the floor "what if I was naked!" he teased "I don't always wear boxers to bed you know"  
"well, if you were naked that would have been a treat for me wouldn't it?"  
"I know you're joking dude but...Don't say that" Blaine began to laugh at his friend.  
"Don't worry you're not my type"  
"So this fine specimen of man right here isn't your type" David clicked his fingers until Blaine was in stitches of laughter.  
"mmm-hmm!" Blaine said wiggling his finger.  
"That's racist" David laughed.  
"I have to go get the other boys up"  
"Look Blaine. It's a study day; they might actually have work to do. Don't get upset if all of them can't come"  
"Look David, they need to help a friend in need. They can catch up on studying later; hurry up we need to be there by seven and it's an hour away"  
"okay okay!"

After Blaine made many promises Blaine wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to keep he had succeeded in getting all the warblers into his car. "thanks guys I owe you one" He said for the millionth time as he pulled in to mickinleys car park.  
"Dude stop saying that."

Kurt was sat in glee club listening to Santana rock out and blow almost everyone's minds. He was zoned out though, completely. He didn't know what to do about Blaine. He needed to apologise for the way he'd acted yesterday. Sure he was still mad at Blaine but he saw him get a physical beating then gave him a verbal beating and walked away. That's no way to treat a friend even if you are mad at them. "Kurt" Mercedes hissed "I'm sorry about the other day I mean, I feel awful...I know we don't talk about your feelings a lot but I always get the impression you don't want to talk about them"  
"it's fine Mercedes honestly. I can't exspect you to know how I'm feeling all the time. I can't exspect you to ask how I'm feeling when I lie anyway. I'm sorry for not spending time with you recently it's just..."  
"you were hung up with other things, and that's cool, just know you can always text me and email me and..."  
"thanks Mercedes..."  
"hi" a voice came from the doorway and Kurt smiled instantly. "We are the warblers and...and...well..."  
"Just sing man!" Wes grunted and Blaine smiled. The boys behind him got into formation and started singing Blaine's backing track.  
"You think I'm pretty, without any make up on..." Blaine sang reservedly until he got caught up in the music. He was a performer when the beat got him, it really got him. He was beating his heart out and dancing looking at everyone in his audience apart from the person he most wanted to look at. He wanted to look at Kurt so much, see his reaction but he knew if he did he'd stop singing.

"I told you!" Rachel said when he'd stopped singing "He's trying to scare us, intimidate us with his charming smile and hot body and amazing voice"  
"Rachel!" Finn said offended.  
"I told you Kurt, fraternising with the enemy" Rachel hissed and Kurt could swear he saw Blaine smile slightly out of the corner of his eye.  
"Shut up Rachel" Kurt said.  
"I came to apologise" Blaine began strongly then his voice failed him"for...for...f...f...for...everything"  
"why do you need to apologise" Santana laughed still thinking Blaine was talking to everyone.  
"Shut up Santana" Kurt said.  
"I thought...I thought I'd sing to you, our song and that...I don't know. I didn't know how to say I'm sorry and I hoped you'd realise what that meant. I'm sorry for running away, and I know how I feel about you..." Blaine was still talking quietly and his eyes were darting around the room, everyone in the glee club looked so confused apart from Kurt and Finn.  
"and?" Kurt said.  
"and...I bought you something. It's nothing much, just a watch." Blaine removed a stunning silver watch from his pocket and Kurt walked towards him smiling.  
"Oh it's nothing much just a $500 watch!"  
"I forgot you could do that" Blaine laughed handing the watch over "Look inside." Kurt looked at the engraving inside the watch and smiled. 'Kurt,' it said 'I love you'. Kurt swallowed a few times and looked at Blaine with tears in his eyes.  
"Blaine, I...I...I..." Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and they stood there hugging for a long time "I love you too" Kurt finally whispered "but I'm still mad at you"  
"I know" Blaine laughed "I'm an idiot, you have every reason to be mad at me"  
"That must have took some courage" Kurt smiled "I'm sorry for what I said as well. I didn't mean anything; I don't think you're a scared little boy. I don't he was...he was really intimidating and even if you didn't punch him or anything...you still stood up to him...you told him not to hurt me and you took that punch. For me"  
Blaine smiled "Kurt, can we just admit we've both done wrong and...and leave it at that?"  
"Yeah, of course we can, yes" Kurt rested his head against Blaine's and they stared into each other's eyes while everyone in glee shuffled around on their seats uncomfortably.  
"Errm" Mr Schue said and he began to cough.  
"Oh yeah" Blaine laughed and he let go of Kurt "I'll pick you up after school?"  
"Yeah, that'd be good, where are we going"  
"I don't know" Blaine admitted "but I need to see you" Kurt went red and smiled. "I have to go, Have a good day. I'm sorry for interrupting you're glee rehearsal."  
"It's becoming a habit" Kurt winked and this time Blaine blushed.  
"I guess so...anyway I better drive these guys back to Dalton"  
"Good to see you again Kurt" Wes smiled.  
"Yeah, and I'm glad you two have finally seen sense... now I don't have to cope with Blaine moping around and crying and describing to me in detail the colour of your eyes and your hair and how when you laugh your nose crinkles up a little bit and..."David rattled off.  
"Yeah we have to go!" Blaine said quickly blushing and began to push David out of the room leaving Kurt laughing.  
"Anyway..." Mr Schue said "Santana, sectionals, do you want a solo?"  
"WHAT?" Rachel screamed.

"So Blaine..." Mercedes began at lunch and Kurt blushed "You like him don't you?"  
"Well, duh!" Kurt said uncomfortably.  
"Ans are you sort of a couple?"  
"I guess so, he gave me a $500 watch that says 'Kurt, I love you' inside it so I guess we are going out"  
"Quite the romantic. But $500 doesn't that feel like he's...I don't know...buying you?"  
"Mercedes, him buying me this is like anyone in this school buying you a $5 dollar plastic ring. It's sweet and he honestly can afford it. He wouldn't have even blinked at throwing that much money away"  
"Oh Kurt, you've got yourself a rich one, hold on to him"  
"It's not like that...I love him Mercedes. He's...He's amazing"  
"So what's been happening over the last couple of days then? With you and him?"  
"I know you're playing the protective best friend and everything but he's charming and he's lovely and we've just had some teething problems. I like him Mercedes and I don't want you to get the wrong idea of him. It's over now, it doesn't matter."  
"okay" Mercedes pouted.  
"It's not like that. I'd tell you if it was important but it isn't...I love you Mercy"  
"I love you too Kurt" Mercedes smiled. "and I do want to meet Blaine sometime soon!"  
"I promise! Swear on my heart" Kurt laughed.  
"Hey lady boy" Karofsky shouted behind him.  
"HEY!" Mercedes shouted at him "DON'T TALK TO MY BOY LIKE THAT!"  
"Whatever" Karofsky walked away laughing.  
"Thanks Mercy" Kurt sighed.

After school Kurt practically ran into the car park and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Blaine standing there leaning on his car.  
"HEY" he shouted and waved walking over  
"hey" Kurt smiled and he felt Blaine's arms rapping themselves around him. "This is nice" He sighed.  
"Yeah, it is" Blaine laughed "So, where do you think we should go."  
"I don't know. How about mine? I think my dad will kill me if he has to pick me up from yours again"  
"I admit it probably wasn't the best idea driving you all the way to mine" Blaine laughed. He stepped backwards from Kurt and grabbed his hand. They walked over to Blaine's car and Blaine opened the door for Kurt.  
"Hey Kurt?" He asked.  
"What?"  
"Why's your brother still giving me dead eyes?"  
"Finn? He doesn't trust you yet."  
"Ohhh"  
"Don't worry about it, he'll come round"  
"No I'm just...Glad he cares about you so much. Will he not be at yours then?"  
"No he's going to Rachel's"  
"okay"

Kurt was sat on the sofa holding hands with his... "So are we a couple now?" Kurt asked suddenly.  
"Well I hope so" Blaine laughed.  
"Well..."  
"Kurt," Blaine said smiling "will you go out with me?"  
"Yes" Kurt said quickly and Blaine laughed causing Kurt to blush.  
"You are so cute when you blush" Blaine teased.  
"You're always cute" Kurt whispered. Leaning inwards for what he hoped would be his first kiss.  
"Kurt wait" Blaine said.  
"What?" Kurt said trying to keep calm.  
"I...I want to tell you something first. I want to tell you about...about the bullies. You asked the other day and I promised I'd tell you and I thought well...now is kind of the perfect time."  
"O...okay" Kurt said.  
"You know that day. When I came to your house the first time?"  
"How could I forget?" Kurt rolled his eyes.  
"Well I asked to get changed in the rest room and you wouldn't let me."  
"Because it's like 4 foot wide"  
"well yeah anyway, I didn't want to get changed in your bedroom and it wasn't because I was afraid of you molesting me I just...I didn't want you to see something. That's why I got changed so quickly in your room. I didn't want you to see..." Blaine stood up shaking slightly and swallowed a few times trying to make his throat less dry "I didn't want you to see this" Blaine put his hand on the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up to expose his right hip, there carved into his skin was the word 'fag'.  
"Blaine" Kurt whispered shocked.  
"I know it's pretty foul. When I went to my old school they pinned me down in the toilets and Jason...well he had a knife. I was so scared. I thought he was stabbing me Kurt, I thought I was going to die. Then they all ran away laughing and I saw he'd carved that. It was bleeding really badly, the cut was pretty deep. I mean it's scared now so it must have been really deep." Kurt traced his fingers over the letters and Blaine shivered. "That's why Jason scares me so much. I know what he's capable of. I sat in the toilets crying all day waiting for the bleeding to stop but it wouldn't. I ran home and got their before my mum. Bandaged myself around my waist and hid it from everyone. A few weeks later though they strapped me to a chair and Jason shaved my head. My hair used to be quite long but, Jason shaved it all off. They beat me up after that, ended up in hospital. My mum saw all my bruises, she saw my scar and my hair and she pulled my straight out of school. Sent me to Dalton. Life was good from then on. I kept my hair short because, well I preferred it that way, I guess Jason did me a favour in that sense" He laughed bitterly "anyway, Wes and David took me in, I became pretty popular and life has been good every since. Except when I see Jason. Yes I'm upset I didn't stand up to me bullies Kurt, I really am. I try to stand up to people who hurt me now but...well Jason... He scares the hell out of me and he always will. I thought he was going to kill me Kurt"  
Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine "I'm so sorry"  
"It's not your fault" Blaine laughed sadly "There's no need for you to apologise"  
"But it's awful. It's awful that somebody could do something like that. I don't want to think of anyone doing anything like that to you" Kurt looked at Blaine worriedly.  
"I'm glad I told you" Blaine said "I was scared about it but...at least it's done now I mean..."  
"I know. You're just happy it's over with"  
"yeah" Blaine said "anyway...errm"  
"Music?" Kurt said.  
"Yeah" Kurt went and turned the stereo on and two seconds later Blaine was pulling him into his arms. They swayed in time to the music smiling and laughing at each other. "I'm glad you're my boyfriend Kurt" Blaine said.  
"Me too" Kurt smiled he collapsed on the sofa and dragged his boyfriend on top of him. Blaine smiled down at his boyfriend and began to lean in towards his perfect ruby red lips. Then it happened. The moment they had both been waiting for. They kissed, softly and slowly. After a while Blaine pulled his lips away and sighed "I love you Kurt"  
"I love you too" they began to kiss again.  
"GOD NO!" a man shouted from the doorway.  
"Dad?" Kurt said.  
"Oh god!" Blaine said jumping off Kurt.  
"Kurt" Burt said stiffly "Errrm, I guess you forgave him then"  
"yes" Kurt blushed.  
"okay, I'm glad" Burt said shifting uncomfortably on the spot. "I'm Burt, Kurt's Dad" he said after a while offering his hand out to a shell shocked Blaine who eventually took it.  
"I'm Blaine, Kurt's...errm...Kurt's boyfriend"  
"Okay Blaine" Burt let go of his hand "I would like to talk to my son for a while, so if you wouldn't mind leaving for tonight. Oh that sounds horrible; I mean...I need to have a chat with Kurt. How about you leave now and come back on Friday night. We'll have a meal and I'll introduce you to Carole and Finn and get to know you a little better."  
"Okay, yeah that sounds good" Blaine grinned "See you Friday then Kurt"  
"yeah, bye" Kurt said. Blaine Blew a kiss to Kurt from behind Burt's back and left.  
"Right Kurt" Burt said as soon as he heard Blaine's car engine start "I think we both know what talk we are going to have now"


	8. Parents, eh? Always interfering!

"Sorry dad" Kurt said "I didn't expect you to be back so soon"  
"It's okay" Burt sighed and he sat next to his son on the sofa.  
"But it isn't dad, is it?" Kurt smiled slightly "I know you're doing your best but it still freaks you out and well...I want you to be okay with seeing me kiss someone"  
"I'm fine with it Kurt...I...I am. Look every dad imagines their kid growing up playing football with them, getting a wife and having a couple of kids but...we're special Kurt. Instead of playing football we watch musicals together and I hate to admit I am starting to like them. Instead of getting a wife you'll get a husband and you can always adopt a little kiddie. You'll have a great life and I will be happy to see you live it even if it's a little...different to the usual family dynamics"  
"thanks dad"  
"anyway...that's not what I wanted to talk about"  
"I know I was trying to change the subject"  
"Well anyway...errrm...well you know...condoms and" Burt began to cough "stuff"  
"YES DAD" Kurt squeaked "I know about all that stuff."  
"It's not like you have gay sex education in school and I just want you to be safe"  
"dad, I know, okay?"  
"So you know how to put a condom on?"  
"DAD!" Kurt turned a bright shade of red and began to whisper "I'm sure that's the same for a gay person and a straight person"  
"good point, you didn't answer my question?"  
"Yes we put them on bananas about 2 years ago"  
"okay and you know you can always ask me to buy them?"  
"LALALALALALALALALALA!" Kurt put his fingers in his ears trying to block out the awkwardness of the conversation.  
"KURT!" Burt screamed and his son removed his fingers from his ears "This is awkward for me too okay? I just have to know you know this stuff. I'd rather you be safe than sorry. So if you ever need a condom ask me and I'll buy them, I'm fine with it. If you'd feel more comfortable you can get a condom from in my underwear drawer. That's where I keep mine."  
"Urghh" Kurt shook his head disgustedly and his father began to laugh.  
"I had the same talk with Finn but the difference is he asked me to have this talk and he was far more comfortable with it" Burt smiled "Kurt, sex is nothing to be ashamed of and I want you to know you can talk to me about it."  
"Dad" Kurt said "please just don't"  
"well anyway S.T.D.s are on the rise and as long as you use a condom I'm totally fine with everything and...Well...if you ever have any sort of sex related problem you can tell me and...I don't know we'll Google it or something."  
"Dad me and Blaine have been going out for a day. I'm so not planning on doing anything like that yet."  
"I'm glad to hear that Kurt, I am, but some people enter into sexual relationships very quickly, some people take their time and it's fine either way. Just make sure you go at your own pace."  
"Yes...yes...can I go now?"  
"Wait a second" Burt ran upstairs and came down with a plastic bag with he handed to Kurt. Inside was a book with the title 'the big handbook of gay sex'. Kurt turned an unflattering shade of red and coughed a few times "urm thanks. You bought this?"  
"Carol did."  
"Somehow that makes it a thousand times worse. I'm going to my room now and we will never talk about this again"  
"okay Kurt. By the way he seems nice."  
"He is" Kurt smiled dashing to his room. The first thing he did was throw his book into the bin. Then he sat frozen on his bed for a while reflecting on the awkwardness of that conversation.

Blaine fired up his computer and clicked on his instant messaging icon. He was happy when he saw his boyfriend was online. His boyfriend. His boyfriend was online. His beautiful, perfect, amazing boyfriend was online. Blaine sighed and began to type.

Blaine: Hey beautiful. How are you?  
Kurt: errm, a bit shocked if I'm honest. You?  
Blaine: I feel brilliant. I've got this amazing guy who came into my life recently and whenever I talk to him I get so happy. It's totally awesome. Why you shocked?  
Kurt: Because I just had the 'sex talk' with my dad *shivers*  
Blaine: haha awah was it awkward? It never really bothers me.  
Kurt: wait it "never really bothers you"? You've had the conversation more than once?  
Blaine: Oh I forgot you haven't met my mother yet. I apologise in advance. She's very...open.  
Kurt: Now I'm scared.  
Blaine: Yes you will have to have this conversation going into far more detail about G spots and different positions.  
Kurt: BLAINE! Honestly I have had enough of this for one day.  
Blaine: What this stuff really embarrasses you? I guess you get used to it when you've had the talk every day since you were 13.  
Kurt: what?  
Blaine: I have a thousand books illustrating the joys of sex. I get them every year for my birthday. Is that weird?  
Kurt: A little bit...Yeah it's really weird. I got my first book today and it is now in the trash. Carole bought it for me witch somehow makes it a thousand times worse. I don't know why it just...does and oh god Blaine I am so freaked out right now.  
Blaine: Kurt seriously doesn't worry. You've just had a weird conversation with your dad. I mean my dad FREAKED OUT after my mum told him about my first time. We had a huge bust up it was awful!  
Kurt: You aren't a virgin?  
Blaine: no.  
Blaine: is that okay?  
Blaine: I mean you don't mind do you?  
Kurt: No I don't mind it's just... I thought you were. I mean I assumed you were but it's fine.  
Blaine: You sure  
Kurt: of course. It's really cool.  
Blaine: okaaaayyyy  
Kurt: I mean...I don't know what I mean.  
Blaine: errm. Maybe online wasn't the best way to say that.  
Blaine: Sorry it was insensitive.  
Kurt: No. No. Don't apologise it is fine honestly. It was stupid of me to assume you weren't. I mean you've had boyfriends why should you be a virgin?  
Blaine: yeah. Well, I can't even see your face and this has now been dubbed my awkward conversation ever.  
Kurt: hahaa no honestly I mean yeah sure I'm upset. I suppose I thought we were both as inexperienced as each other but...really it isn't that big a deal.  
Blaine: okay, so Friday? Are you okay with me coming over?  
Kurt: Of course I am! Why do you not want to come over?  
Blaine: OF COURSE I DO! I just...I don't know, I didn't know if you'd think it'd be weird or if you didn't think it was too soon.  
Kurt: Do you think it's too soon?  
Blaine: Kurt chill out.  
Kurt: How did you know I was stressing?  
Blaine: You are adorable.  
Blaine: Ever so adorable!  
Blaine: and I'm in love with you.  
Blaine: you are the first guy I have ever been in love with.  
Blaine: and yes, I am not a virgin. Do you know why?  
Kurt: Blaine, I really don't want to think about you with some other guy.  
Blaine: HEY I'M OPENING UP :D  
Kurt: okay then :\  
Blaine: Look I was with this guy called Kyle and I did like him. I didn't love him and it felt so wrong when we kissed or anything like that. I was just happy to have a boyfriend so I pretended I was in love, gushing about him and spending every single waking hour with him but...he pressured me Kurt.  
Blaine: He told me that everyone was doing it. He told me that if I didn't he'd tell everyone I was frigid. So I did it.  
Blaine: I regretted it immediately after and I felt so week and stupid and...Pathetic. I told my mum but I embellished it slightly to make my first time sound desirable. She told my dad, we had a big bust up because he wasn't comfortable with the whole gay thing.  
Blaine: My mum eventually talked him round.  
Blaine: He's cool with it now.  
Blaine: I am an idiot Kurt. I regret having sex with him. I regret it a lot. I wish I did save my first time for someone I loved.  
Kurt: That's horrible. That someone would pressure you like that.  
Blaine: Yeah, I know. That's why you have to understand that this is why I want to do things at your pace. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you. I don't want you to regret anything.  
Kurt: thanks Blaine, I feel much better now you've said that.  
Blaine: and I cannot wait to meet Carole and Finn after everything I've heard about them. I am so excited. I just wanted to be sure that you were okay with how fast this is moving.  
Kurt: I'm fine with it. I can't wait either. I'm shocked my dad took it as well as he did. He was the one who made me see what an idiot I'd been after the fight.  
Blaine: My mum was the one who made me see what an idiot I'd been.  
Kurt: Parents, eh? Always interfering!  
Blaine: Parents, eh? What would we do without them?  
Kurt: my dad's just shouted me; Carole's made tea, see you tomorrow night then. Meeting my parents. ARGHH! I'm excited, but that doesn't mean I am not terrified.  
Blaine: hahaa I can't wait till tomorrow. It should be fun. See you then. I LOVE YOU 3 XX  
Kurt: I love you too :) and never, ever use that *lessthan3* love heart again. It's so sad. Xx


	9. That Sentence Was All Kinds Of Wrong

Kurt looked in the mirror for the seventh time that night.  
"Chill dude you look cool!" Finn sighed.  
"Finn...ermm, can I talk to you about something?"  
"Ermm, yeah I guess"  
"well, Blaine told me yesterday that he's like... he's not..."  
"HE ISN'T GAY!"  
"That totally isn't what I was going to say. Of course he's gay! What's wrong with you?"  
"Sorry I had my head stuck in gay-conversation-mode"  
"that sentence was all kinds of wrong" Kurt shock his head and said "no, Blaine isn't...He's not...a virgin"  
"WOAH! You guys have already...ya know?" Finn exclaimed "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this conversation"  
"NO FINN" Kurt shouted "No, I am a virgin. He isn't"  
"Oh" Finn sighed "and?"  
"Well, I'm okay with it, I think; I was just a bit...scared. I mean he already sort of knows what to do and it makes me feel a bit...inadequate"  
"are you planning on sleeping with him any time soon?"  
"No"  
"well, it isn't really an issue is it. When the time comes Kurt you will be ready. If he loves you he'll make you feel like it's the most special thing in the world. Losing your virginity is always going to be a bit strange. It isn't going to be the best sex you ever have. People make it sound so much better than it actually is, it's just a fumble, it's the first hurdle and once you're over it you can relax and learn to get better at having sex. He'll understand that it's your first time and you won't be fantastic. I wouldn't worry about it"  
"Thanks Finn" Kurt said "I swear you do watch a lot of chick flicks, your advice is too good!"  
"look Kurt please don't tell anyone but I go out with Rachel OF COURSE I WATCH CHICK FLICKS!" the door bell rang and Kurt jumped up.  
"Oh god, oh god, oh god" Kurt said quickly "What if this was a bad idea?"  
"You can't chicken out now! If I were you I'd get the door before your dad shows him your baby pictures"  
"GOD!" Kurt screamed running towards the door leaving Finn laughing.

"Hey gorgeous" Blaine smiled dashingly.  
"Finally!" Kurt smiled.  
"Am I late?" Blaine asked a cute crease appearing on his forehead.  
" No, you're just on time, I've just been..."  
"Stressing?"  
"Kind of" Kurt laughed and Blaine wrapped his arms around him.  
"Calm down. I'm sure it'll all go fine"  
"I know" Kurt whispered. He pecked Blaine on the lip grabbed his hand and led him through into the living room.  
"Dad, this is Blaine, and Blaine this is dad. I know you've already met but this is your formal introduction." Kurt said quickly and Blaine and Burt smiled at each other.  
"Hello I'm Burt" Burt said following Kurt's instructions and pretending the other day never happened.  
"And I'm Blaine" Blaine smiled charmingly "Kurt's boyfriend" they shock hands and Kurt seemed to relax a little bit.  
"And this is my step mother Carole" Kurt smiled gesturing. Blaine held out his hand but Carole swept him into a hug. "Oh Blaine I've heard a lot about you!"  
"All good I hope"  
"All fantastic."  
"Well, Kurt always talks about you. In fact just yesterday he was very appreciative of a certain book you bought him"  
"BLAINE!" Kurt shouted. Carole and Burt burst out laughing as Blaine shrugged his shoulders and shot Kurt an innocent look.  
"And my sons upstairs" Carole said after whipping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "He'll join us later."  
"That's great" Blaine smiled "I'm really very honoured to be invited. I know it's very soon in mine and Kurt's relationship so I feel very privileged to already be meeting you. I must say that Kurt talks about you all the time and everything I've heard has been amazing. Especially about you Burt, he really idolises you and if I'm honest, I can see why. My dad was never as...exceptive of me as you are of Kurt" Blaine smiled dashingly and Carole found herself smiling back. Kurt rolled his eyes.  
"Why are you so charming?" Kurt laughed.  
"I am?"  
"You know you are, I bet you practise those dashing smiles in the mirror!" Kurt pushed Blaine playfully.  
"Well I bet you practise those cute sarcastic eye rolls in the mirror!" Blaine said playfully and Kurt blushed bright red "and that adorable blush. I'm sure you know what it does to me and do it just to make me want to ravish you"  
Kurt felt slightly uncomfortable flirting so openly in front of his parents. "Well...well...I..."  
"Are you speechless?" Blaine laughed "I have never seen that before"  
"shut up" Kurt mumbled.  
"Never" Blaine winked.  
"NOW" Kurt warned.  
"I will never surrender!" after about a heart beat the two boys began to laugh "oh my gosh"  
"I can remember that"  
"our first almost kiss before I ran out like a total dork"  
"yep, well this time you can't run out" Kurt smiled leaning forwards and pressing his lips to Blaine's. They stood for a while just kissing before Blaine pulled away and smiled.  
"What have I gotten myself into?" Blaine flashed his white teeth into a sideways smile.  
"A whole heap of trouble kid" Burt butt in. Kurt was surprised that his dad didn't look awkward about the kiss he'd just witnessed, in fact he was sort of...smiling "Have you not realised how high maintenance Kurt is?"  
"hmm well yes, that jumper must have cost A LOT but I like that jumper" Blaine smiled eying his boyfriend.  
"I like your...trousers, shirt and tie" Kurt sneered.  
"What?"  
"It's a bit...respectable. I've only seen you in jeans like...once. I don't think I've ever seen you in sweat pants. Or a hoodie, or with your hair ungelled."  
"Well...tomorrow, I will put on my sloppiest clothes and you can see me looking..." Blaine shivered "...disgusting. Are you sure you can handle that?"  
"You could never look disgusting" Kurt smiled. "Want to watch a film?"  
"Thought you'd never ask"

"The Little mermaid?"  
"Yes!"  
"The Little mermaid?" Kurt repeated.  
"What is wrong with wanting to watch the Little Mermaid?"  
"It's a kid's film!"  
"And..." Blaine smiled.  
"And you NEVER act like a kid. You always act like an old man"  
"I know" Blaine sighed "But when it comes to Disney I'm hooked. Ariel is so pretty and sweet and her voice is just AH-MAZE-INGGG" He gushed.  
"Oh my gosh. You have a crush on Ariel!"  
"I do not!"  
"YOU DO SO!"  
"Okay, okay, but she's a cartoon character. I'm allowed to have a crush on her. Her prince is pretty dashing as well."  
"I agree with you there"  
"So we can watch it?" Blaine pouted and Kurt rolled his eyes.  
"If you insist!"  
"YEY!" Blaine clapped and kissed his boyfriend very enthusiastically.  
"You are so gay" Kurt muttered.  
"You think?" Blaine stated dryly.

Burt was sat in his arm chair and Blaine and Kurt were sprawled across the sofa limbs intertwined. "She is kind of pretty" Kurt reluctantly admitted.  
"Are you kidding! She's gorgeous!"  
"I agree with Blaine here Kurt, She's a looker" Burt said.  
"The red hair, the perfect figure..." Blaine sighed.  
"Excluding the fish tail" Kurt muttered.  
"INCLUDING the fish tail!" Blaine smiled and shoved his boyfriend "the fish tail makes her special. She can't see how special the fish tail makes her. When she gets legs I don't fancy her and my attention moves towards the dashing prince"  
"what is your thing with Ariel?...I mean 'she can't see how special the fish tail makes her'" Kurt quoted "My god, you are using her as like a metaphor for gay people aren't you"  
"NO" Blaine blushed.  
"Yes you are... It's like..."Kurt drifted off.  
"Well she feels like an outcast and I get that. All she wants is to be normal, and I can relate to that as well. She wants to go somewhere where she's respected and I want that. I relate to her a lot if truth be told. I lose all respect for her when she runs off and gets legs and meets the handsome prince. It's like she's taken the easy way out. She's lost herself and her whole culture and upbringing just to be accepted. She shouldn't have had to do that. When I was a kid watching this move I used to think it would all be okay when I grew up, I used to think I could stop been gay just because this movie says it's okay to change what you were born with."  
"Woah, you read way too far into things. I was just distracted by the colours and the singing"  
"I was a messed up kid. Everyone always knew I was different. This film used to make me happy. It makes me happy now because it's reminiscent of my childhood. I don't like the message now I've grown to understand it"  
"You have a good point Blaine, it isn't very inspirational. She's changing something she was born with; she's turning her back on her family and running away from her culture. That's just...wrong"  
"stop it you to" Kurt sighed "it's just a film"  
"And that's why you don't get it, Kurt" Blaine kissed his nose "It will never be 'just a film to me'"  
"just like when you tell me it's 'just a game' when I'm watching football, or I tell you it's 'just a t-shirt, no you cannot pay $700 on it'"  
"It was an 'Anna Sui' T-shirt" Kurt protested  
"It wasn't even a BOYS T-shirt, Kurt"  
"Huph" Kurt sighed and snuggled further into Blaine's side.

The film finished and Carole called to tell everyone dinner was ready almost immediately after. Finn introduced himself to Blaine and Blaine smiled one of his award winning smiles and greeted him like an old friend. They sat at the dinner table and began to eat.  
"Do you play on the football squad?" Blaine suddenly asked Finn frowning "your name sounds familiar"  
"yeah" Finn said "quarter back"  
"me too" Blaine smiled "I think we played against you last season. We won"  
"well we were pretty crap back then, we had a rubbish coach. I think the only game we ever won was when Kurt was kicker"  
"you were kicker?" Blaine looked admiringly at Kurt.  
"I was trying to prove to my dad I was straight..."  
"...so naturally he made the whole squad learn the dance to single ladies" Finn laughed.  
"Naturally" Blaine smiled.  
"So Blaine" Burt asked "what do your parents do for a living?"  
"My father is an author, and my mother is a sex therapist"  
Kurt choked on his food causing the whole table to laugh.  
"He isn't very comfortable talking about sex" Burt said "I tried to have the sex talk with him yesterday, I thought he was going to have a heart attack!"  
"Dad, we're eating!"  
"Okay, okay. Your parents must earn a fair bit to get you into Dalton?"  
"Well, my mum's one of the highest paid sex therapists in this country. My dad's kind of a...bad author. I mean his work gets published but it hardly sells. My mum sort of sustains the family really. Which she loves because she can always talk about been a strong independent women" Blaine smiled fondly and rolled his eyes.  
"I like the sound of this woman!" Carole smiled.  
"I'm quite scared of meeting her" Kurt laughed.  
"Oh you should be. You will have some highly unorthodox conversations with her. She's mental but I love her."  
"well so you should" Burt smiled. He liked this kid. He seemed good for kurt, he was obviously a deep thinker, very fond of his parents, he was sweet and charming and above all, it looked like he really cared about Kurt.  
"So Blaine, what are you doing for Christmas?"  
"Well I'm boarding at Dalton over Christmas. My mum's going to be on a course in germany and my dad's going along for the journey. They did give me the option of going with them it just isn't really my seen. What about you guys?"  
"Probably the usual, presents, stuffing ourselves on turkey, falling asleep at midday"  
"sounds fun" Blaine smiled.  
"Why don't you come here, for Christmas I mean?" Burt suddenly asked "For the two week holidays, you can stay in Kurt's room. We already have Finn's girlfriend coming round. She's a Jew and her dads don't even believe in commercialised Christmas. How about it?"  
"Well, I'll have to ask my parents of course and Kurt. If they are okay with it then I would be more than happy to stay for the Christmas holidays. It would be my pleasure"  
"Well Kurt?" Burt asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine with it"  
"that's settled then. Tell Kurt what your parents say and if it's fine with them, you can stay here."  
"Thank you very much Mr Hummel it's very kind of you"  
"call me Burt"  
"okay, Thank you Burt." Blaine grinned "I really do appreciate it"


	10. Opinions?

AN/ Hey, thanks for the reviews they make me feel loved. Someone asked in the last one if I'm Australian because I put "Mum" instead of "Mom" and I put "Lollies" instead of "candy". No I'm British I live in the north of England. I did originally start putting "Mom" but I kept forgetting and in the end went back and changed it to "Mum". I hope you guys don't mind. As I said in an earlier chapter, if it bugs you just pretend it says "Mom". :) No Klaine/Blurt in this chapter. It is still about them though :D hope you enjoy. This fic talks about sectionals a lot but Kurt is still at McKinley and I want it to be Christmas soon, so In this fic, sectionals happen later in the year. I probably won't write sectionals TBH/

"So tell me everything" Rachel said to Finn eying him with ferocious intensity. They made up after their fight in glee club a few weeks ago and now Rachel was obsessed with hearing about Blaine.  
"He's alright I guess. He's a quarter back like me." Finn shrugged.  
"I don't care about that Finn! What does he sound like? Can he sing?"  
"I don't know. He didn't exactly burst into song at every second. I mean I think I heard them singing that little mermaid song at one point but, Burt kind of drowned the boys out."  
"And why were you not downstairs, eying up the competition?"  
"Well I was gunna go down but when I peaked round the banister they were getting their gay on. Like hugging on the sofa."  
"You act like you have never seen men kissing before!"  
"I...sort of...haven't"  
"I need you to meet my Dad's soon Finn. If you wish to be part of my family and have my little Jewish babies you have to get rid of this closeted homophobia!"  
"I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE!" Finn screamed "Why does everyone think I am just because I'm not entirely comfortable watching men kiss."  
"Finn" Rachel put her hand on his shoulder "We can work through your prejudice together"  
"For god's sake" Finn mumbled.  
"Anyway" Rachel continued "What exactly do you know about him? Or any of his friends?"  
"I know he's gay"  
"Well done genius"  
"I know he's charming, and pretty sickening to be honest."  
"That sounds like a trait we will have to outwit. If the warblers are charming they will just...charm their way into winning. We have to be...cute...overbearingly cute, then we can win and..."  
"Rachel?" Finn said.  
"Yes?"  
"Do we have to talk about this?"  
"What else do you know?"  
"I guess we do...well his dad's an author and his mum is some sort of sex therapist or something. Errm...Oh yeah he's staying over at ours for Christmas"  
"PERFECT!" Rachel shouted a crazy gleam in her eyes "this is perfect, singing carols by the fire and analysing his every trait..."  
"He's reserved and composed" Finn said quietly.  
"That's good he isn't confident"  
"Oh no, He's oozes confidence!" Finn smiled "He just isn't animated or easy to read"  
"okay, tough challenge"  
"Rachel" Finn said "don't be too hard on the guy. Kurt mentioned he was bullied and he said that Blaine had been through a whole bunch of crap. He seems like a nice guy, and he seems to genuinely care about Kurt. I don't want you to ruin this over a stupid competition"  
"you did not just refer to sectionals as a stupid competition"  
"you know what I mean" Finn sighed "I'm not good with words they get confused in my mouth. I mean...don't wreck Kurt's happiness for your own personal gain. If one of the glee club is happy, we all should be. Even if that means sacrificing sectionals.  
"What if he breaks Kurt's heart?" Rachel said over dramatically.  
"Then I'll break his legs" Finn said seriously making Rachel sigh and kiss him. "But he won't do that Rachel. I think he does like, really care."  
"How do you know that?" Rachel asked sceptically.  
"Well we finished dinner and Kurt said something about putting a film on like 'titanic' or 'breakfast at tiffany's' or some over rubbish movie..."  
"Those movies are classics Finn!"  
"...anyway Blaine said he's rather watch this college football game that was on if that was all right. Kurt went all pouty but like he agreed so we all sat down and chilled out. Burt was in his arm chair I was on the floor, Blaine was sat at one side of the sofa and Kurt was sprawled out his head on Blaine's lap. I was a bit freaked but I was watching the game. Blaine's cool I mean he understood the game. He was supporting the same team as me and we were making, like, almost the same comments. Then I said something a Blaine didn't answer so I turned round. Kurt had fallen asleep and Blaine was like watching him. He said he'd gotten distracted and kissed Kurt on the forehead. Every time I looked at him he was watching Kurt instead of the game. He had seemed dead into the game Rachel. Like dead into it. He found watching Kurt more interesting. That has to be love."  
"so...well...would you rather watch me then a football game?" Rachel asked innocently smiling slightly.  
"Well, it depends how important the game is." Finn answered honestly  
"FINN!" Rachel screamed "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! Don't you love me Finn is that why you can't bear to look at me...you think I'm ugly..."

"So, guess what I found out?" Wes said walking into his friend's room.  
"What?" David asked.  
"Guess who isn't staying at Dalton over Christmas?"  
"Everyone. Apart from me, you and Blaine, the sad gits with parents who are too important to take a holiday. " David muttered "You always succeed in making me feel like a loser."  
"Well I think you'll feel more like a loser when you hear actually it's just me and you staying for Christmas"  
"WHAT?"  
"Blaine took his name of the signup sheet to board at school over the holidays."  
"That's insane, I mean his folks are in Germany or something, are they not?"  
"Yep, so I text him..."  
"And?"  
"He's only going to stay with that cute spy kid he keeps gushing about. I'm scared for him..."  
"Why, Kurt seems nice"  
"You said that about Kyle!"  
"Well, Kyle was nice...to us at least."  
"I'm worried David. He's falling to fast and I don't want him to do something he'll regret."  
"I think he learnt his lesson from last time, Wes" David rolled his eyes "You don't share a room with him, you didn't hear him crying every night for a month. He didn't confide in you about how useless and pathetic and stupid he felt for been led on"  
"I know, I know, but I could see he was hurting. I don't like it when he's hurting."  
"I know, you used to be his roommate remember. Until he got and 'F' on that geometry test and wallowed about listening too emo music"  
"I didn't like to see him like that" Wes frowned "And there is only so many times you can listen to 'Black Parade' before you want to rip someone's throat out"  
"I sympathise, When his dad took away his guitar I was subjected to Death Cab For Cutie for like...three months'."  
"Ouch!"  
"I know!"  
"I'm so glad we swapped roommates."  
"As much as I love Blaine, I do miss Oatis. My life was much quieter with him around" David sighed dramatically and both boys laughed.  
"I...I...I don't know. Are we cool with this?"  
"Yeah, we are totally cool with this. Blaine's in love, it's the happiest I have ever seen him."  
"Even more happy then when Tom Felton replied to him on twitter?"  
"Yes, Wes. Like twice as happy as that!"  
"FUCK ME!"  
"If you insist" David winked and then he began laughing "We have to stop hanging out with Blaine. His gayness is rubbing off on me. I feel much too comfortable flirting with you."  
"If my girl had heard you saying that she'd have bitch slapped your ass!"  
"If my girl had heard me saying that she'd have dumped my ass. Want to play call of duty?"  
"Sure baby" Wes winked "As long as we can make out after."  
"TOO FAR WES! TOO FAR!"  
"You always spoil my fun!" Wes pouted. They laughed and turned on the X Box.

"Hey Kurt, It's Mercedes, again, Just wondering how your 'It-so-isn't-a-date' went. Call me when you get this" Mercedes left the fiftieth voice message and sighed. As much as she loved her little white boy and was happy he was happy, she missed him. He was always doing stuff with Blaine and that was fine. She just wished he would call her and tell her the deats. Still he filled her in more than enough at school and she had been working on a science project with Santana all weekend so it wasn't like she was alone per say. She missed her best friend. She felt like she knew more about Puck and Santana's sex life and Sam and Quinn's love life then she knew about her best friends. Kurt had almost been quieter then the cheerio squad on issues like this though. She took the fact Kurt didn't talk about Blaine so much as a good point, at least it wasn't bad news, right? She looked at her phone and sighed and decided on sending one final text before going out with Anthony. She'd been getting on well with him recently and was desperate to vent her feelings about him to someone. 'Kurt' she typed 'sorry for like totally spamming your inbox. I just wanted to say thanks for setting me up with Anthony. He's cool and I think I might really like him. Hope everything's going well with Blaine; you too are really cute together. See you at school on Monday. Mercy X'. There, she thought, that doesn't sound over pushy.

Burt watched Kurt lead Blaine into his room and rolled his eyes. Well he had given him the talk, that's all he could do. He walked into the kitchen to talk to his beautiful wife. "What do you think of him then?"  
"Of who?"  
"That Blaine kid!" Burt huffed.  
"I think he's charming. He's sweet. He's confident and comfortable with himself and he's what Kurt needs right now"  
"I guess" Burt smiled "It's just...he's his first, you know, and I don't really know how to react. I think he's nice and I want to like him it's just...I'm not sure if I should like him. I'm Kurt's dad. Am I not supposed to hate him for that reason alone."  
"Well that is what the normal dad would do" Carole smiled "But you're not the normal dad. You and Kurt have a very special relationship. If you hated Blaine I'm pretty sure Kurt would hate you"  
"I guess so...He does like to whine doesn't he?" Burt smiled.  
"He's a good kid" Carole smiled "And Blaine seems like a good kid. They like each other and I'm sure they'll be sensible and go at their own pace. I wouldn't worry about Kurt. He's a smart boy"  
"I know he is. I can't help worrying about him though"  
"That's because you're his dad. Dad's worry. I'm his step mum. Mothers just know. I know Blaine's a decent kid."  
Burt sighed and kissed his wife "Thanks Carole. You're perfect, has anyone ever told you that?"  
"Lot of people!" Carole smiled.


	11. Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve came quickly. Rachel and Blaine had been staying with the Hummel's for around 4 days and seemed to be pretty comfortable around each other. It was Blaine's ability to be so charming and win anyone round in a second. Finn had told Kurt about Rachel planning to spy on Blaine and obviously Kurt had told Blaine. He had given him a crash course in all things Rachel Berry. Rule number 1, talk about her, compliment her, appreciate her and she will be your best friend in a couple of seconds. Blaine did not follow his advice. Blaine actually went surprisingly shy and timid and Rachel seemed to leave him alone. Kurt had talked to him about it before they went to sleep. Blaine on the blow up bed in the corner, Kurt in a double bed wishing the space next to him could be used.

"Look" Blaine had said "I know you think Rachel wants it all to be her, her, her..."  
"Because she does!"  
"No!" Blaine laughed "she likes it to be her talent. She likes to be in control. If I dominated a conversation gushing about her she'd only get mad. Not because I'm talking about her, she'd love that, but because she's not in control. If I play it cool, be quite and shy and let her talk to me and gradually come out of my shell, she'll like that better. She'll think that she's coaxed me into talking and she'll be proud of herself"  
"wow" Kurt said "how the hell did you know that?"  
"I'm a people person Kurt" Blaine winked "For instance I know that you are burning internally because I've left my trousers on the floor over there."  
"They should be in a drawer" Kurt whined.  
"I put them there to wind you up" Blaine smiled "glad it worked"  
"you are an idiot, I HATE YOU!"  
"Maybe I should go home then" Blaine mocked hurt.  
"NO! I was only joking. I love you, I'm really glad that you're here."  
"I'm glad too. Although I have liked a thousand texts from Wes and David, they are lost without me."  
"How about you invite them round for Christmas Eve. We can have a nice day and then maybe they won't be too upset about been alone at Dalton for Christmas.  
"That would be nice" Blaine smiled dashingly.

Reluctantly Burt had given in to his sons puppy dog eyes and Wes and David were over in woolly Christmas sweaters that were so embarrassing it burned Kurt's eyes to look at them. Wes and Finn were on the Xbox on some sort of punch-em-up sort of game. Rachel was talking to David blushing and twirling her hair and Blaine was on the sofa hugging Kurt. He was in his pajama bottoms and his hair was a tangle of curls. He looked adorable. Kurt had made him promise that he wouldn't change all day because of how adorable he looked. Blaine had protested of course but with a few hot kisses from his amazing boyfriend he had given in.

"for goodness sake" Blaine moaned "how long are you two going to play on that game?"  
"Just until I win!" Wes called  
"You'll never win Finn is a seasoned pro."Kurt's said dulcetly.  
"Thanks bro" Finn smiled.  
"When can we do something fun?" Blaine pouted, "I've been sat here for an hour watching those two losers."  
"Hey! Who are you calling a loser?" Wes shouted  
"No one" Blaine sighed "I'm just bored" Kurt looked up at him from his place in Blaine's arms and smiled.

"I can help you with that" He laughed as he crawled upwards until he was staring into Blaine's eyes. He leaned down slowly and began placing fluttery kisses and delicate as butterflies along Blaine's jaw line. Blaine moaned and then turned red through embarrassment. Kurt giggled and his lips focused their attention on Blaine's. He began to kiss him slowly at first, just enjoying the rhythm in which their lips moved, enjoying the softness of Blaine's own lips and they way they just fit together perfectly. After a while Kurt ran his tongue along Blaine's bottom lip and Blaine without thinking opened his mouth a little wider to grant it entrance. Kurt began to massage the older boys tongue with his own breathing in the scent of him. Kurt would never get over the way Blaine smelt. He smelt of aftershave and moisturiser and mint and somehow he still smelt of man. A scent that Kurt couldn't quite put his finger on; it was just completely manly, completely Blaine. Blaine's taste as well. Blaine's taste was something to marvel upon. Kurt wrapped his tongue round his boyfriends trying to permanently engrave that taste on his tongue. Blaine tasted of sleep at the moment, and coffee seen as he'd drank about three cups, there was also a faint taste of mint from his toothpaste still lingering on his teeth. Blaine always smelt of and tasted of mint, he constantly had mints in his pocket and he used mint shower gel. Kurt loved it and every time he smelt or tasted anything remotely mint he was reminded of his perfect boyfriend. A dazed look would cross his face and he would go to his happy place where it was just him and Blaine. He wondered what he tasted like to Blaine and made a mental note to ask him later as his lips broke away from Blaine's. He looked down panting heavily.

"That certainly cured my boredom" Blaine laughed pecking his boyfriend slowly on the lips.  
"God, get a room!" David laughed from where him and Rachel were standing.  
"I honestly don't mind as my Dad's frequently make out in fount of me. I've grown up to except and appreciate gay men and I have no problem with public displays of affection." Rachel said bossily and Blaine giggled fondly.  
"I love you Rachel" He said honestly "You're like...a breath of fresh air"  
"Thank you" Rachel smiled "I am also quite taken with you"  
"woah!" Kurt laughed "My boyfriend getting on with my rival! We cannot have this"  
"but I like her" Blaine shrugged "she's excepting, self assured, sassy, energetic, enthusiastic, she's got a set of lungs on her and she likes my hair"

Rachel and Blaine had been flirting over the last few days. If Finn and Kurt didn't know Blaine was gay they would have been scared. All they were talking about was show tunes and kissing techniques and show tunes and show tunes and show tunes and...You get the picture. Blaine had complemented her hair on being so soft and shiny the other day and Rachel had smiled and told him how much she loved his hair and she just wanted to scrunch it. Blaine had allowed her to do so whilst Kurt was watching rolling his eyes. Finn was jealous, Kurt could tell, but surprisingly Finn liked Blaine too. They played video games together, watched horror movies and talked about sports. Blaine seemed perfect. Kurt had even heard Blaine talking to his dad the other day but they seemed to be talking about Kurt so he'd left because he wasn't entirely comfortable eavesdropping especially if it was another sex talk. Carole liked him too, they hadn't talked exactly but they kept giving each other these looks and smiles. Blaine hugged her every morning and kissed her goodnight each night. Kurt had asked why once but Blaine had just shrugged and said "I like her, she's nice" Kurt could not deny that sentiment. Carole was a warm women, she just seemed to glow this light of happiness.

"Right okay, I give up" Wes said at about nine o clock that night.  
"You've been playing for 8 hours and you still haven't won?" Blaine asked. He'd stopped paying attention when Kurt's tongue kept finding its way into his mouth.  
"Shut up, It was more fun than last year" Wes said and David burst out laughing.  
"Oh yes last year!"  
"SHUT UP!" Blaine yelled.  
"What happened last year?" Kurt asked eagerly.  
"Well..."Wes said.  
"I MEAN IT SHUT UP!"  
"You see..." David began.  
"No guys seriously..." Blaine said before Kurt shoved his hand over his mouth.  
"Go on" He smiled.  
"Well, we decided to watch harry potter. The first one was Harry and Ron stay at school over Christmas so we didn't feel like dorks about boarding. We felt like wizards instead. Blaine suggested we dress up" David smiled.  
"Yeah, so anyway I'm been Draco and I've got my hair slicked back and my slytherin tie on" Wes laughed.  
"And I'm Hermione you know, any change to dress up in drag"  
"and Blaine's obviously being Harry because he fancies Daniel Radcliffe, he's sat watching the film with a lightning scar drawn on his forehead, his glasses on and like robes and stuff. Half way through the film his face starts sort of puffing up. Then it's like HUGE and I mean huge, so we have to rush him to hospital in full robes and stuff. Turns out Blaine's allergic to marker pens, especially permanent ones. They said it wasn't a bad reaction and the swelling would go down on its own. It was so funny he had a HUGE face for like two weeks and the marker pen was still there after three months."

Everyone burst out laughing and Blaine sat sulking. "It wasn't funny! I had a huge face!"  
"It sounds pretty hilarious to me" Kurt laughed.  
"I looked disgusting!"  
"Hey, I've told you before, it isn't even possible for you to look disgusting."  
"Trust me it is" Wes said.  
"Yeah, we have proof." He whipped out his phone and showed Kurt 7 pictures of blaine with a pout and a puffed up face. He looked unbelievably cute and vulnerable.  
"Yeah okay you look disgusting" Kurt mocked and lent over to kiss his boyfriend again "I'm glad your face is the right size again"  
"As am I" Blaine smiled and winked.  
"Boys" Burt shouted from the kitchen "It's half nine, you'll have to get going if you want to get back to Dalton before curfew"  
"Ohhh yeah crap" David sulked "Christmas alone. Still today was fun at least"  
"Yes" Wes agreed "We'll have a mega Christmas David. Trust me, I've got plans for us."  
"Really?"  
"Ahha!" Wes winked.  
"See you guys later, It was nice to meet you Rachel" David winked and Rachel blushed "and you Finn" he said with slightly less enthusiasm.  
"BYE!" they chorused as David and Wes left.

"Alone at last" Blaine laughed "no more annoying friends"  
"I liked them" Rachel said. "They are charming like you but...cheeky"  
"yeah, I know, they're amazing. You still like my hair better than theirs though, right?"  
"Defiantly. Now I propose we watch a Christmas film, preferably with lots of singing and dancing."  
"We have A Christmas Carol: The Musical or Nightmare Before Christmas which isn't really that Christmassy to be honest."Kurt declared.  
"Yeah but it's cool" Finn said "All the cartoony thingy mabobs that Jack is so amazing he's like bad ass"  
"we have time to watch them both" Rachel smiled.  
Kurt snuggled closer to Blaine on the sofa and Rachel sat on Finn's lap in the arm chair. Kurt liked Christmas with Blaine. He felt the happiest he'd been in a long time. He had discovered recently that Blaine's arms was his favourite place in the world.


	12. I don't like Christmas

"God I'm tired!" Blaine laughed as the second film finished. Rachel had already fallen asleep and Finn kept jolting awake but gradually going back to sleep. Kurt kept laughing at his brother suddenly jumping out of his skin every now and then, and Blaine kept laughing at the fact Kurt was laughing.  
"Yeah, let's go to sleep" Kurt smiled getting up and lifting his hand out for his boyfriend to take.  
"I am going to change my pyjamas since I've been in these all day thanks to you!" Blaine rubbed over his right hip with his hand witch made Kurt think maybe he was uncomfortable with people seeing his scar. Blaine seemed to read his mind and smiled "I don't like people seeing it, it feels like I've been branded or something. Like my sexuality defines me. But don't worry if I was that bothered about it I'd have put a top on. Wes and David have seen it thousands of times and I don't think Rachel or Finn even noticed, you were lying on top of me to be fair."

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a smile and suddenly Blaine burst out with "THESE PYJAMAS! I feel so scruffy urghh..."  
"you're so anal!"  
"And you aren't?" Blaine laughed eying Kurt's perfectly coordinated outfit "I am nowhere NEAR as anal as you...and...That sounds sooo wrong saying that to a gay person" Blaine chuckled lightly.  
"Ohhh god my brain didn't click and...Oh god! That's why Puck was laughing at me when I told the entire English class I was anal, isn't it?"  
"maybe"

They walked down stairs and Kurt collapsed on his bed whilst Blaine made his way to the air bed. "Why can't you sleep in my bed?" Kurt grumbled.  
"Your dad would have a heart attack. Well he told me...some stuff...earlier this week and..."  
"WHAT? He said you couldn't sleep in my bed!" Kurt raged, "He shouldn't even be thinking about that. Why does he think I'm going to jump your bones every second? Not that I wouldn't, you know...jump your bones...not that I would...errm. "

"Errm" Blaine looked at Kurt then looked away "He didn't say that. He said I could sleep in your bed as long as when he came downstairs I was on the air bed. He said he didn't want to find out about us having sex by seeing us asleep together, he said he wanted you to tell him about your first time. He has a feeling you won't because you feel uncomfortable talking about sex. He just said that I can sleep with you but he doesn't want me to be in the bed when he comes in to your room in the morning. He doesn't want to worry about us having sex when he doesn't have to. Will you tell him, if we do eventually have sex?"  
"Probably not...why?"  
"I don't know. It would be your first time. I'd have thought you'd have wanted someone to know. I'm guessing you're supposed to be excited after your first time, not useless. I had to tell my mum because I was trying to trick myself. You know if you don't enjoy something but you keep saying you did enjoy it and eventually you trick yourself it was fun? I was trying to do that. It didn't really work"  
"well...i don't think my dad will be interested"  
"I disagree." Blaine smiled "I think he'd be very interested. It's a sign of growing up, becoming a man, he'd be proud of you."  
"...because I had sex?..." Kurt said dryly.  
"Yes. Look you have this misconception that most people have that parents don't want to hear about their kids doing it. They do, it's a huge mile stone in your life. Like your first steps or your first word, of course your parents want to share that with you"

"I don't understand why we are having this conversation" Kurt squirmed.  
"Sorry, honestly!" Blaine chuckled "growing up with a sex therapist for a mother you get far too comfortable talking about these things. I often forget that normal teenagers avoid the topic of sex unless they are actually talking about who they want to do it with or talking about if they are going to do it."  
"Well...do you want to do it?" Kurt went red "Because I do. One day. But..."  
"Not now" Blaine shook his head and crawled onto Kurt's bed pressing a light kiss on his lips "I don't want to do it yet. We haven't been going out that long and I don't think I'll be ready to have sex for a while after...after my first time...I'm scared of it Kurt. I know it will be right with us but...I just feel like I want to wait a little while longer"  
"Good" Kurt reassumed breathing "because I don't think I'm ready yet."  
"I'll never pressure you Kurt, I know how that feels"  
"I'll never pressure you Blaine. I don't want to hurt you"  
"You could never hurt me Kurt. You're too pure" Blaine grinned widely and leant down to kiss his boyfriend. "Now...do you mind if I get a shower before joining you in the bed. I feel dirty from you know..." He gestured to the pyjama bottoms he'd been wearing all day causing Kurt to roll his eyes.  
"Sure!" he laughed.

Blaine walked back into Kurt's room wearing nothing but his boxers, his hair dripping slightly and a few beads of water clinging to his chest hair. Kurt tried to draw his eyes up from Blaine's chest to his eyes but it wasn't really working. Blaine's scar looked more red then in had earlier as scars do when you've been in warm water Kurt stared at it and spoke quietly "I hate him"  
"what?" Blaine blinked confused.  
"I hate Jason. For doing that to you...I...I...hate him"  
"you don't even know him!" Blaine laughed "I hate him Kurt. Hate turns you bitter, Hate turns you harsh and cold. Hate makes you hate more and more until the world is too bright and it blinds you, until you can't see anything anymore. Don't hate him. You're too good for that"  
"But he hurt you..."  
"Kurt, you can see the good in everyone. You let people in your heart quickly and even the people you don't like you still sympathise with them. I can't do that anymore..." Blaine blinked back a few tears "I don't trust very quickly, I run away from my feelings and I find it easier to hate people than I do to love them" Blaine got into the bed and put his arms around Kurt "I don't want you to have to put up a barrier to stop people getting in. I don't want you to be scared of being yourself." Kurt reached over and traced the scar's letters with his finger. First the 'F' then the 'A' then the 'G'.  
"Still..." He whispered "I don't know why anyone would want to hurt you so bad." Kurt snuggled into his boyfriend.  
"I don't either Kurt" He sighed "But that's all people want to do"

Burt snuck down Kurt stairs to place some presents on his floor when he saw Blaine. Blaine was in Kurt's bed. Blaine was awake in Kurt's bed. Kurt was sprawled asleep across Blaine's bear chest. Blaine looked up and saw Burt.  
"Sorry" Blaine said quietly "I didn't think you'd come down, I'd have been in the air bed otherwise. We haven't had sex yet. Just to give you piece of mind."  
"No I'm sorry" Burt said "I should have thought... I just wanted to put Kurt some presents on the floor like I do every year, I didn't think that you'd be...I'm the one that's sorry"  
"I honestly don't mind" Blaine said.  
"Okay...how come you're awake"  
"I can't sleep" Blaine shook his head and rubbed his hand across his eyes. The kid looked stressed. In Burt's opinion Kid's shouldn't ever look that stressed. "Anyway..." Blaine smiled "Watching him sleep is far better than sleeping...he's so peaceful"

Burt looked down at Blaine's chest and his son's face all the frown lines had vanished like sleep took away all his problems. Of course sleep didn't take his problems away and the frown lines would appear again tomorrow. For the time being, he was happy, he was safe. "Blaine" Burt said "I'm not a bad dad, you know?"  
"Of course you aren't!" Blaine said fiercely "You are a wonderful dad, Kurt idolises you."  
"I know he's in trouble" Burt whispered "I know some things happening. He isn't as good a liar as he believes he is. I just don't know what I can do about it if he doesn't tell me"  
"He's strong Mr Hummel"  
"I've told you to call me Burt"  
"I know" Blaine smiled "Burt...He'll be fine."  
"I know Blaine, I just worry about him. I just hate looking at him and seeing his face creased with problems, I want to shake him and tell him to tell me everything, I want to make everything okay..."

"It's just some jerks at school that's all" Blaine reassured Burt "It isn't a serious problem, if it ever grew to become one I would personally beat every one of them up"  
"That's good to know" Burt laughed.  
"I wish I could tell you more but..."  
"It's down to him, I respect that." Burt put his hand on Blaine's shoulders and his blue eyes met Blaine's Hazel ones "You're a good kid Blaine, I can see that..." Burt suddenly stopped talking; he was staring at Blaine's hip. Blaine blushed furiously and lifted up the bed sheets slightly to cover it. "and I just saw that..."  
"Errrm, I..."  
"What was that? Why? What?"  
"We all have our scars." Blaine droned.  
"I guess we do" Burt looked shocked "Did...did you do that...to yourself?"  
"No"  
"someone else did that to you?"  
"Yes"  
"why?"  
"Some people just hate people like me. People like Kurt. We're different and there is always going to be prejudice"  
"It doesn't make it right." Burt said angrily "God damn it, no one deserves that!"

"I am a fag" Blaine said calmly "That's who I am"  
"I know" Burt said "I know you are a fag. But they don't mean it like we mean it. They mean it in a derogatory way. They mean it like it's a bad thing. That word is full of spite and the connotations of it scratched into your skin. Surly that hurt, not just literally"  
Blaine's eyes welled up and Burt thought he saw the kid shrink in front of him. He looked so much smaller and so much more vulnerable. He'd assumed Blaine was this positive force that would teach his son about accepting himself. Now Burt realised, Blaine was a positive force and he would teach Kurt about been proud of his sexuality because he'd truly come to terms with his sexuality. He'd faced his demons and was proud of his life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Blaine shrugged Kurt of his chest and wrapped himself up into a ball. Burt suddenly couldn't stop himself reaching out and putting his arms around Blaine. "Hey, you're safe here"  
"I just...I'm over it Burt, I truly am. I don't like it, and it hurts to look at it every day but...I can cope with it. What scares me more is...is...is that it could happen to Kurt. It could happen to him and I don't think I could cope with that"

Burt liked this kid. He really liked him. He didn't know anyone who cared about Kurt more aside from himself. They'd sat there talking for a while the conversation gradually getting lighter and lighter until Blaine suddenly stopped talking and looked at his watch. "What is it?" Burt asked.  
"Oh it's just; it's been Christmas for two hours now"  
"Merry Christmas."  
"I don't like Christmas"  
"Oh"  
"Don't get me wrong; I won't ruin it or anything. I appreciate other people do like it and I can pretend to like it. I just don't"  
"why?"  
"Well the religious thing obviously." Blaine smiled "but that's just on a surface level, I mean Christmas is far more about presents then religion anyway. It's more the fact that my family are messed up."  
"Oh"  
"I'm an only child and when I was little I used to have to have Christmas with my mum and dad. My dad knew I was...different. I told him I wanted to be a princess when I grew up, I wore my mum's make up and I preferred girl's toys. My dad...well let's just say he didn't like it. Every Christmas he'd buy me cars and army men and pretend fighter planes just anything remotely 'boyish'. When I was about 14 I snapped. Said he couldn't change me by buying me lodes of crap toys that I'd never play with. Said I was gay"  
"you came out on Christmas day?"

"Yeah." Blaine licked his lips and carried on "well, he was telling me I was only 14, I couldn't just know I was too young. I told him I was positive, I was gay, I'd known since I was seven. He went totally crazy. Said I was attention seeking and there was no such thing as being gay. I was crying, pleading with him and he was just...shouting, he said he didn't love me. I shouted at him, told him I hated him and he hit me. We haven't spent a Christmas together since"  
"He...he...he said he didn't love you?"  
"Yeah. My dad is very homophobic" Blaine laughed and rolled his eyes "My mother is so warm and accepting she talked him round. By talked him round I mean she told him he had to be civil to me even though I was gay. I wasn't just going to change and he couldn't repress my feelings. He apologised and we are polite to each other but...we don't talk much."  
"That's so...sad"  
"I know" Blaine smiled "It's his problem though, not mine. Since then we've only had one other big bust up about my sexuality. We try not to make it come between us. It'll always be there though, there will always be a rift between us and he will never fully accept me. It's sad but...I can cope with it."  
"Sounds to me like you have too much to cope with Blaine"  
"tell me about it, I'm proud of being gay though. I'm really proud of it. I would never let any of those things change me or hide myself. I'm proud of myself."  
"Well, You are here, it is Christmas and we all accept you here. This is going to be the best Christmas ever! I promise you will enjoy yourself."  
"Thanks...Burt"  
"it's alright son"

Blaine knew when Burt called him 'son' he was just saying it as an affectionate term towards one of his son's friends. Burt probably didn't even think twice about saying it. It meant so much to him though. He was glad to be accepted here. He'd come to love himself no matter what anyone said but he'd forgotten how it truly felt like to be loved by others, now he felt like he had another family. He had his mother and his Dalton family, now he had Kurt's family too. Blaine smiled to himself. He was helping Burt put presents under the tree and drinking hot chocolate. "Hurry up kid" Burt said "Come on son, its half past five, Kurt will be awake in half an hour"  
"Kurt...Kurt will be awake at six" 

"Kurt really loves Christmas. Not the religious side of course but the commercialised side. Kurt loves that, watching people opening presents and getting more useless things to add to his collection of useless things. It's kind of his perfect day."  
Blaine laughed "He's kind of the light to my dark"  
"Hey, you could never be dark even if you tried!" Burt smiled "You've had bad things happen to you but that in no way makes you a bad person. You'd never hurt anyone Blaine, I can see that."  
"Thanks Burt, I really appreciate it. I appreciate tonight. You've really helped me. I really like you...you're like...you're like" Blaine swallowed a few times "The dad I've never had"  
"well, welcome to the family kiddo!" Burt laughed "I have a feeling you'll be around for a while!"


	13. WHAT?

AN/ yes I'm loving all the review. Just thought after that fluffy chapter I'd leave you a very little chapter to add a bit of suspense to the story. I'll probably update agin tomorrow, so maybe you won't have the suspense and the next chapter will already be up but...MEH. I wanted to get this out there even if it is only little. Reviews=LOVE/

"Hey" Kurt yawned sleepily walking towards his dad and Blaine who were sat on the sofa. "How come you left?"  
"I've been awake all night" Blaine said "I couldn't sleep so I just gave your dad a hand"  
"Oh" Kurt said "I feel bad now, sleeping away whilst you two have been working."  
"Its fine" Burt laughed "I mean it's traditional to fall asleep after Christmas dinner and I can guarantee at least two of us will" He winked at Blaine who laughed.  
"Oh, yeah, by the way" Blaine grinned "Merry Christmas"  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Kurt shouted jumping up and down.  
"URGHHHH!" they heard a scream from upstairs "TOO EARLY"  
"Finn, get your butt downstairs! It's Christmas"  
"Your dad was right, you really love Christmas"  
"Everybody loves Christmas" Kurt said stubbornly. Blaine and Burt shared a knowing look and Burt smiled reassuringly.  
"I guess so" Blaine smiled over brightly.

Finn and Rachel had joined them on the sofa. Carole and Burt were sat on the floor looking at tags on presents. For once Rachel didn't seem too happy. "It's to early!"  
"It's Christmas" Kurt pouted.  
"I'm a Jew" Rachel snapped."  
"You won't want my gift then"  
"Yes I will, I love Christmas. Who doesn't love Christmas?"

"So this one is for Kurt" Burt said.  
"Let me guess, it's a sweater."  
"How the heck...?"  
"Puffy wrapping paper, too soft, not shakeable, sweater"  
"I don't even know why I bother wrapping them, every year he does this" Burt looked at Blaine who giggled.  
"Well, he'll probably be able to guess what my present to him is but it'll still be a shock" Blaine looked at Kurt and winked. Kurt blushed profusely.  
"I bet I won't be shocked. You're predictable!"  
"Am I now?" Blaine laughed, he leant in and kissed Kurt's nose.  
"Yes, I totally knew you were going to do that"

Kurt had by far the most presents, he had a few books, some musical soundtracks, a whale song cd, hair products, face products and many, many outfits. Blaine had brought over his presents from his family with him too, he didn't have as many, and his dad had bought him a Frank Sinatra cd. Blaine rolled his eyes at this "The only thing we actually have in common" He explained "I think he hopes if he clings on to this connection he can cure me or something." His mother had gotten him a book on sex, he'd assumed this earlier and opened it in Kurt's room yesterday. She'd also gotten him a blue fitted jumper witch Blaine put on over his pyjamas immediately. Wes had gotten him a prank book, not the ordinary kind, an elaborate, genius kind with a note that said David was going to be tortured this year. David had wrapped up a permanent marker pen, the card with it said 'Here's hoping you have a puffy face again' and Blaine had laughed uncontrollably. That was all he had from his family. Finn had gotten football gear and money, that's all he asked for, Rachel had nothing, none of her family celebrated Christmas. It got to the time where it was time to exchange the important gifts. "Blaine, you first" Burt said and Blaine went to the tree.

"This one is for Finn" He said handing him a rectangle. Finn ripped it open eagerly and saw a DVD. Kurt glanced at it, it looked like a horror movie of some kind "OH GOSH I've wanted this forever, it's like totally goresvile!"  
"And this is for Rachel" he handed Rachel another little box. She opened it and sitting inside was the most beautiful necklace. Kurt glanced at it. $200 on Rachel, $20 on Finn, you could see where Blaine's priorities were.  
"I have another gift for Finn actually" Blaine pulled out a present from behind the tree and handed it over.  
"Dude an iPod, you shouldn't have!"  
"You said you broke your last one" Blaine shrugged. "And this one is for Burt" Blaine handed him a small box and Burt opened it slowly.  
"Wow, it's beautiful, thank you" it was a gold watch. Looked around $500 Kurt was shocked his boyfriend had spent so much on his father. Kurt admired it though; usually gold watches looked tacky but this one, somehow oozed class. He gave carol a necklace, a bracelet and some perfume. Finally Blaine turned to Kurt and gave him a few presents in one go.  
"Boots" Kurt said before opening the first present. He was right of course, they were Blaine's old boots he had admired a couple of weeks ago. Luckily they were the same sized foot and Kurt squealed in excitement. "I thought you said you'd never give them up!"  
"I lied" Blaine smiled. Kurt moved on the next present.

"Another jumper?"  
"Just open it!"  
"that is...disgusting"  
"told you that you'd be shocked" Blaine laughed. It was an oversized woollen knitted jumper with a hideous Rudolf brassy and bright on the front. "Did I ever tell you who made Wes and David's embarrassing winter knits?" Blaine winked.  
"You knit?"  
"I know it's weird" Blaine giggled.  
"No, it's cute" Kurt laughed moving onto the last present "I don't know what this is..."  
"Hallelujah!" Blaine mocked. Kurt carefully ripped the wrapping paper off to reveal a canvas with a painting of...him on it. It was him and Blaine pulling stupid faces.  
"We got that picture done in the photo booth, I thought I'd paint it"  
"but it's...its fantastic."  
"Thank you" Blaine glowed "I didn't know what to buy you, everything felt so...unimportant and impersonal. I decided I wouldn't buy you anything, I wanted to give you something special"  
"Well you've succeeded!" Kurt said welling up. He jumped off the sofa and lunged into Blaine's arms whilst Burt and Carole watched happily. "You are the best boyfriend ever" Kurt muttered under his breath before kissing Blaine passionately on his lips.

Christmas dinner was delicious and everyone was over stuffed. Blaine had fallen asleep on the sofa, Carole and Finn were washing up in the kitchen and Rachel had gone to bed complaining of a migraine. She wasn't ill, she was mad. Finn had bought her the new Call of Duty game for Christmas because he wanted it.

"Hey kiddo" Burt smiled at his son who was gazing at the picture Blaine had Painted him.  
"Isn't it amazing"  
"Yeah, he's a talented kid, heart of gold. I mean I'm no expert but this watch must have cost a fair bit, I recon all our presents cost a decent amount, except for yours. He obviously wanted to impress us. He didn't need to do that with you though, he'd already impressed you. He wanted to show you how much he cared."  
"All that time and effort, I mean knitting a jumper that must have taken hours" Kurt said gesturing to his woollen jumper.  
"I never thought I'd see you dead in anything like that" Burt laughed.  
"It smells of Blaine" Kurt said breathing in the coffee-y/minty/Blaine-y smell.  
"And that makes all the difference doesn't it?"  
"Well...yeah"  
"He's a great kid" Burt smiled "I mean a really great kid, you've picked him well"  
Kurt blushed and smiled "Thanks dad" he mumbled.

"No I mean it; I was talking to him last night. He's been through a rough time but...he's still so positive and proud of who he is. He's an inspiration Kurt. He's a nice gentleman. I can't believe someone would do that to him" Burt pointed to his own hip and Kurt's eyes widened.  
"He told you?"  
"He didn't really have much choice" Burt shrugged "I saw it"  
"Oh..."  
"It's horrific. You just have to remember Kurt; there are ass holes in the world. Try to stay away from them. Or at least, tell me your problems if you need a hand."  
"Dad" Kurt said impossibly quietly "...I'm...I'm...being...bullied"  
"okay" Burt said softly he wrapped his arms around Kurt who sat there numb not sure why those words had come out of his mouth.  
"His names Karofsky" Kurt continued stay unsure where this voice was coming from "And he's a closeted homosexual" 

"WHAT?" Finn yelled from behind them. Carole looked shocked and Blaine bolted awake.  
"Wait, what's going on?" he mumbled sleepily.  
"Karofsky is not gay!" Finn laughed.  
"AHHH" Blaine said "So you told them"  
"WHAT?" Finn yelled again.


	14. Ignorance

"Look, Karofsky isn't gay I mean..." Finn said slowly "He can't be?"  
"Why can't he?" Blaine asked shaking with rage. Kurt could tell he was trying really hard to keep composed.  
"Because he...he...he plays football!"  
"I PLAY FOOTBALL" Blaine shouted.  
"Yeah but I mean, he's all beefed up and...He isn't gay"  
"He is Finn" Kurt said really quietly from where he was sitting "He's gay" I breathed.  
"I don't believe you" Finn shook his head frantically "It can't be true"  
"THIS RIGHT HERE!" Blaine screamed hysterically "THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME FEEL PHYSICALLY SICK"  
"Blaine" Kurt whispered "please, calm down"  
Blaine stopped shouting and curled up into a ball shaking on the sofa muttering "he can't be gay, he plays football, huh? Ha"

"Dad" Kurt said ignoring the awkward silence around him "He was just a Neanderthal shoving me into lockers and throwing slushies in my face. I was sick of it, really raging and I started shouting at him, really screaming. I called him lodes of horrible names and I feel so awful about it."  
Blaine blinked from where he was "You feel awful about it?"  
"What he's going through Blaine, I remember it and it was so awful. Really horrible and I'm pretty sure everyone already knew I was gay. It was still so hard for me. It must be twice as hard for him. I mean look at Finns reaction..."

Finn shook his head again "No..."  
"Yes" Kurt said "I was calling him all these disgusting things. Telling him he wasn't my type and then he..."  
"Kurt..." Blaine said "You don't have to do this...He'll hurt you...He'll...What about my...I couldn't bear it if he did anything to you"  
"He kissed me" Kurt breathed.  
"You're such an attention seeker" Finn laughed "Have a crush on Karofsky is that it"  
"Please" Blaine said sarcastically.  
"What?" Finn yelled "He's a jock. Kurt likes jocks. Not gay-y girl-y jocks like you. Strong manly Jocks like me. He tried to drag me out of the closet that I wasn't even in. That's what you're doing to Karofsky isn't it...you are unbelievable!"  
"I'm. Not. A. Girl" Blaine growled and Burt looked up from his sons eyes.  
"Finn, enough, okay? Blaine's been through enough traumas without you giving him a hard..."  
"LOOK I'M NOT A GIRL! AND I'M NOT GIRLY!" Blaine jumped off the sofa "SO WHAT I LIKE DISNEY MOVIES AND MUSICALS AND CLOTHES? I LIKE PRO WRESTLING AS WELL AND I WILL POUND YOUR ASS FINN HUDSON!"  
"YEAH!" Finn laughed "I'd like to see you try" He snarled. Blaine lunged from the sofa and had him pinned to the wall in a second.  
"Blaine!" Kurt said "please...He isn't worth it!"  
"I...I...I have to go!" Blaine shouted letting go of Finn and running out.  
"Woah" Finn said.  
"You had to push him, didn't you Finn?" Burt said with a sound of contempt in his voice "Go that step too far!"

"Blaine!" Wes ran up to him and hugged him "Thanks so much for the new disgusting Christmas jumper it's amazing"  
"Same!" David laughed "I love my Santa one"  
"Yeah..." Blaine whispered "I've got a headache actually so I might just..."  
"Blaine" Wes suddenly said shocked "What's up? Aren't you supposed to be at Kurt's place? What happened?"  
"Nothing, okay? Nothing happened"  
"Okay, I know you're lying now, what happened?"  
"I may have lunged on his step brother" Blaine said quietly his eyes darting around the room.  
"Dude, that is not cool. He doesn't even bat for your team"  
"Not like that you idiot!" Blaine growled "I pinned him against the wall and probably scared the shit out of Kurt. He'll never want to see me again. Now if you don't mind I'm going to bed. I'm going to cry and writhe about in pain and you are going to ignore me."  
"Blaine..."  
"HONESTLY GUYS! I MEAN IT THIS TIME"  
"Okay...okay" Wes whispered "Fine, be on your own, at Christmas if you want to. It's not like we care" he said sarcastically "Beat up Kurt's brother if you want to and wreck Christmas for everyone"  
"Shut up" Blaine growled "I know I've been an idiot which is why I want to sulk, Now let me past you!" David moved out of the way of the door and Blaine walked into his room and slumped down on the bed. Why couldn't life ever be simple? Why did he never just know the right thing to do?

"Oh, Okay so he jumps on me like some kind of spider monkey and I'm in trouble?" Finn snarled.  
"You pushed him" Burt said sternly "And don't deny it Finn. You acted totally inappropriately"  
"What..."  
"Finn Hudson" Carole said looking at him with a look of loathing "I am so very disappointed in you"  
"But mum..."  
"Don't" She said slowly "I don't even want to look at you right now"  
"THIS IS SO UNFAIR!" He screamed and kicked the floor angrily before marching upstairs.  
"Sorry Kurt..." Burt said slowly "This was meant to be our first Christmas as a family, it went a bit wrong, didn't it?"  
"Just a little" Kurt agreed smiling slightly.  
"What about Blaine?"  
"I'll talk to him later...I...I don't know what to say"  
"Do you want him to talk to him?"  
"No...no... I have to do it" Kurt smiled sadly "I hope he didn't take it too hard"

"Blaine!" Wes moaned from the doorway "Blaine just open the freaking door!"  
"Go away" Blaine moaned.  
"Look, Please let us in" David said taking a nicer tact.  
"BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I WILL BURST THIS DOOR DOWN!" Wes screamed.  
"You two are the best friends in the world" Blaine hissed sarcastically.  
"I know we are" David whispered "look. I know you aren't in the mood to talk Blaine, but whether you did the right thing or the wrong thing I'm guessing you need someone to talk too."  
"Please guys...just go" Blaine sobbed.  
"Right I'm busting the freaking door down" Wes said fiercely.  
"NOOO!"  
Wes bust into the room and eyed his best friend sitting crying on the bed looking impossibly small.  
"God...look at you...you're a mess"  
"Thanks" Blaine laughed sadly.

"So, what were you saying Kurt, about this Karofsky kid?"  
"Dave" Kurt sighed "Well after that he sort of threatened me"  
"He threatened you?" Burt said looking shell shocked.  
"He said if he told anyone he'd...he said he'd kill me dad" Kurt sobbed. "He said he'd kill me"  
"HE...HE...SAID...THAT!" Burt yelled "where does this kid live Kurt?"  
"I don't know"  
"I'm going to kill him" Burt radged.  
"Now I think it's your turn to calm down Burt" Carole whispered "Killing some kid wouldn't solve anything."  
"I can cope with it"  
"What is it with you and Blaine? Both saying that you can 'cope' with it?" Burt laughed bitterly "why can't you understand that you shouldn't HAVE to cope with stuff like this?"  
"I wouldn't have told you if I'd have known all of this was going to happen" Kurt muttered "It's not your problem"  
"If it's your problem Kurt, It's my problem"  
"No dad, okay? NO. It's my problem. I CAN COPE WITH IT! You don't even need to worry about it. I don't know why I even opened my big fat mouth"

"What happened, Blaine?" David said sitting next to him on the bed rubbing his back in circles.  
"Some crap...I don't know. I just saw red and lashed out, it's no big deal."  
"Why do you never tell us what's wrong, huh? Why do we always have to work it out of you?"  
"Because it's not exactly something I want you to know. I know you won't judge me and you're just here to help but...but it's my problem guys. I can sort it out"  
"No you can't Blaine. You always try to sort things out on your own and mess them up even more" Wes said dryly from the door.  
"Shut up alright. I know I'm totally useless. You don't need to remind me of that endearing little fact"  
"You aren't useless!" David grumbled "You're just confused. You think with your heart instead of your head. You let your emotions rule you which might make you a bit more...spontaneous then the average person. It isn't a bad thing Blaine. When you're in love you show it deeply, but when you're angry you show that deeply as well. You just need to learn how to keep certain emotions...under padlock."  
"But...He was such a...a...jerk!"  
"Yes but Wes is always a jerk, and you never hit him now do you"  
"Good point" Blaine laughed fondly "But he's too darn cute to hurt. He pulls that puppy face for weeks on end."  
"Well...I try"

"You opened your mouth Kurt because you're scared. When someone threatens your life you're allowed to be afraid."  
"But I aren't afraid" Kurt whined "Not a little bit"  
"What?" Burt said blankly.  
"I'm sad. He's too much of a coward to ever actually follow through with it" Kurt rolled his eyes "I feel sorry for him. He has all this to deal with and go through and instead of just coming to terms with who he is...well he'd rather just threaten someone who has come to terms with who he is"  
"you have this extraordinary talent to see the good in everyone, Kurt" Burt sighed "Your mother had it too but I don't posses that talent. And I find it hard to look passed the surface level. You have to understand that we are the extremes. Maybe I am been too critical but your being to exceptive. He could be a serious threat to you"  
"no" Kurt shook his head "He's a coward dad. A big idiot who will never be able to do any substantial damage to me" Kurt lied. He was scared of course he was. Blaine's scar had shown him what people could do. He meant everything about feeling sorry for Karofsky, of course he did, but he still was afraid of him. He just needed his dad to calm down. Urgently. He was ill. He's ill. Please calm down. Please.

"Finn was shouting some rubbish about Karofsky"  
"what?" David asked a crease of confusion passing along his forehead "that kid who's bullying Kurt?"  
"Yeah, He was saying he couldn't be...well you know. Get this he like's football so he can't be...what an idiot"  
"that's ridicules!"  
"Tell me about it"  
"You didn't need to hit him though!"  
"It's his ignorance. It's blinding him to the truth. He's poison. I don't want Kurt living around that twenty four seven."  
"Oh so you thought you'd educate him by putting your fist on his face!" Wes rolled his eyes.  
"I DIDN'T HIT HIM! I pinned him up against the wall! Kurt told me to leave it so I did. I came here. Now he probably hates me for seeing how much of a weak idiot I am!"  
"Hey, weak? You pinned his HUGE stepbrother to the wall. You are like a leprechaun next to him Blaine. It takes some strength to do that"  
"I meant weak inside"  
"I know what you meant Blaine." David sighed "But at least Kurt knows you'll always be able to protect him right?"  
"Right." Blaine chuckled dryly. "Still. I'm an idiot."  
"No one is disagreeing with you there."  
"I've ruined Christmas" Blaine pouted.  
"You don't like Christmas"  
"But Kurt does..." He whispered "Please can I be alone now"  
"Okay, fine. But you're not alone Blaine. Never. If you need us, we are here."  
"Thanks guys."

"Dad, just calm down please" Kurt said "Karofsky will never ever be worth you having a heart attack. If you die on me for something as stupid as this I will kill you"  
"I'll already be dead Kurt!"  
"FINE I'LL KILL MYSELF THEN!"  
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT! NEVER, EVER SAY THAT"  
"WELL CALM DOWN THEN!" Kurt cried "Please, please...please...please...please..." He was stuck on a loop and Carole scooped him up in her arms.  
"Maybe it is best to calm down Burt we've had enough haste for one day."

"I HATE YOU!" a voice screamed from upstairs "YOU'RE HORRID AND I HATE YOU!" Rachel came bounding down the stairs. "I can't believe I went out with that jerk! He can't be gay because he plays football and acts manly...never heard anything so ridicules in my life."  
"Rachel. It's okay" Kurt said.  
"No Kurt. It will never be okay. Not really. I know he's not exactly a homophobe but his has this very stereotypical image of gay people and he can't get over it. He never will be able to. If he meets my dad's and he doesn't except them...I couldn't cope with that. We're to different Kurt. We don't fit...we just don't fit"  
"Yes you do Rachel, You're perfect for each other."  
"Don't let his ignorance get in the way of you and Blaine, Kurt, Promise me? You two work!"  
"I...I...I...don't know Rachel. He nearly hit him"  
"But he didn't..."  
"Kurt, He's had a tough life. If I'd been through as much as Blaine I would have hit him and you know it."  
"Just...give me time, yeah? Just let me get my head around this."  
"Some Christmas" Rachel mumbled "See you later Kurt."  
"Bye"


	15. Kurt is Blaine's friend

Months had passed since the incident and after many late night phone calls, awkward dates and horrific arguments Kurt had decided his and Blaine's relationship to be no more. Kurt's dad was surprisingly angry about the whole affair and Kurt didn't really understand why his dad liked Blaine so much. However he had known, in his heart it was time to move on. He loves Blaine, he really does but he's scared of Blaine. How can you possibly be in a relationship with someone you're afraid of? Kurt couldn't see exactly what Blaine was capable of and every time he tried to approach the subject of Blaine's...attack...on Finn...Blaine kept saying "Kurt, can we not?" So Kurt did it, he ended it, he was suppressed at the amount of courage he had. Kurt was convinced he'd see Blaine and buckle under pressure, but he didn't he was strong.

Another two months after the break up (4 months after the incident) Kurt was walking through town with Finn. "It's Rachel's birthday and I really need something special, ya know? Something girl-y" Finn smiled at Kurt. Yes, Finn and Rachel had resolved their dramatic little break up drama, as Kurt always knew they would. "Yeah Finn, for the fortieth time, I already know what you are going to buy Rachel, she will love it, and the only reason I have dragged you shopping with me is so you don't look ultra surprised when you give her the present"  
"oh...okay" Finn said "I just want something Rachel-y, ya know?"  
"YES I know!" Kurt laughed "how many times, I've already picked it!"  
"Oh, right, cool" Finn said "Is that...nah...yeah...nah...can't be..." Kurt followed Finns gaze and saw two guys in Dalton uniforms accompanied by a guy in a huge grubby blue t-shirt and grey jogging bottoms.

"Blaine...?" Kurt whispered "but..."  
"Have you talked to him since...?"  
"No we agreed it would be easier to just both leave it"  
"Dude, it's never easy to just 'Leave it' you have to stay friends."  
"Yeah, but if you stay friends then you start going out again almost automatically. For example, Finn and Rachel"  
"Leave it dude. Let's just go say hi or something. They went into that coffee shop."  
"No Finn. No distractions, we need to get this present"  
"Kurt. The guys a mess. I'm not asking you to pounce on him, I'm asking you to say hi."  
"Oh...do I have any choice in this?"  
"NO!" Finn shouted jokingly he chuckled and rolled his eyes before grabbing his step brother and all but dragging him towards the coffee shop.

As soon as they entered they could see they'd made a mistake. Blaine was a mess. A real mess. He was sat with his head in his hands, he looked like he hadn't shaved in days and his hair was really long. David sat with his arm around his best friend whilst Wes just looked confused. He caught site of Kurt and Finn and smiled. Wes gave a mini little wave before standing up to join them. David and Blaine were both to out of it to even notice Wes had left.

"If I had to stay there a second longer I'd have shouted at him. No patience, you know? I don't know how David's so calm and reasonable and sympathetic. I just want to punch him and shout at him to stop whining. That's how good a friend I am. I just...I don't like him looking that way."  
"Errm..." Kurt sighed and looked away.  
"Dude, I am not telling you to get back with him." Wes snorted "No offense it's just...well let's just say _you _aren't exactly his biggest problem right now?"  
"Oh...Well what is?" Kurt asked looking genuinely worried.  
"Your on the list don't worry, but I think top of the list is 6 failed English lit tests, about 20 failed French tests and don't even get me started on RE. I don't think he's shown up to a lesson like ever! They used to let it slide because he's in the warblers and he has, pretty much perfect grades, in everything else. But well...now the grades are sliding...they're thinking about expelling him. Well, I say, thinking about. They have expelled him. His dad's gone ape shit, he's in a meeting trying to get them to reconsider."  
"WOAH!" Finn exclaimed "That...that kind of sucks."  
"Tell me about it"  
"If you aren't ordering anything I'm going to have to get you to leave." A snotty nosed woman called from behind the counter.

Wes, Kurt and Finn sat in the corner of the coffee shop out of view of Blaine. "They haven't even noticed I'm gone" Wes laughed "They never do listen to me. I guess I am an arse hole but...whatever."  
"What's happened to you dude?" Finn blurted out.  
"What?"  
"You...You used to be fun" Kurt inputted "You had a lode of self confidence and..."  
"We've been wading through shit, I won't lie to you. Fucking Kyle, fucking dick head, fucking...urghh"  
"Okay when you are finding it hard to annunciate I know something is deadly wrong. Kyle?  
"Fucking Kyle." Wes spat "Did Blaine tell you about that little prick?"  
"Yeah, it was his first boyfriend, pressured him into having sex" Kurt reeled off.  
"Is that what he said" Wes smiled knowingly.  
"Wait, what?"  
"Kyle didn't pressure him. That sounds like he gave him the option or something. Kyle's the type of guy who takes first and asks if it's okay later. Just like he did with Blaine's virginity. He took it and apologised after. And stupid Blaine, broken and depressed as he was accepted the fucking apology."  
"What are you trying to say?"  
"Kyle raped Blaine. Shoved him against a wall, hands around his throat and he raped him. Blaine's been through such shit. He accepted the douche bags apology. Didn't tell anyone for months and months and then tried to kill him. That's who Blaine is. He'd rather hurt himself then let anyone know someone hurt him."  
"This...this is too much" Kurt said standing up "I have to go...I..."  
"Thought you knew everything about him didn't you?" Wes sneered "You knew nothing Kurt. He's screwed up. The amount of shit he's had to go through in his life time his practically smothered in it. You just get a tiny little bit on your shoes." He laughed and Finn as dense as he was noticed that the tone of the conversation had changed.

"Hey come on calm down" Finn said "It's not Kurt's fault he didn't know all of this."  
"Blaine was probably trying to protect you from his demons or something "Wes said calming down almost immediately. "Thing is, you leaving Blaine isn't the problem. You two weren't working, you practically jumped out of your skin every time he touched you after he attacked Finn. You guys were in a bad place and if you'd have stayed like that...It would have been bad. You leaving Blaine might not be the problem but...it sparked it off Kurt."  
"Confused" Finn said "Firstly, what does this Kyle guy have to do with anything that's happening now. Secondly, why is it Kurt's fault and thirdly why did he lash out in the first place? I know I was acting like a jerk but...It was a little over the top."  
"I'll get round to what fucking Kyle has to do with everything in a minute and how Kurt sparked it all off. I don't know why he lashed out at you, he doesn't even know himself. He feels like a monster for it. It was you implying he was girly because...well he has issues with people calling him a girl."  
"Well, tell him I'm sorry."  
"No Finn!" Kurt raged "It wasn't your fault"  
"Doesn't stop me being sorry" Finn shrugged.  
"The rest of the story...?"  
"Please"  
"well I'm going to have to start from the very beginning."

"Okay" Wes sighed "Kyle raped him. Blaine forgave him. To this day I don't have a clue why. Blaine sort of avoided Kyle from then on and became this...recluse. He tried to kill himself and his dad...well his dad found him and just walked away."  
"His dad _walked away_?"  
"Sickening, right?" Wes laughed "Yeah, but luckily his mum went in the room like ten seconds later and saw him, rushed him off to hospital and got all the treatment he needed. He had to confess after that. He told us all about Kyle and what had happened and how he...how he just couldn't cope anymore. His mum tried to get him to report it but he wouldn't. They became like the closest mother and son I've ever seen after that. Kyle transferred cos all of Dalton were picking on him like mad. Dalton doesn't normally encourage bullying but for rape, we make an exception. Blaine got better and after about a year he met you. I think that's why he was so scared about the kiss thing. He isn't really over the rape. He never will be I mean, come on!" 

"Wes, you're rambling"  
"Sorry. Anyway he meets you and he's happy like, fucking spectacular. I and David finally start to live our own lives instead of searing for bloody razors and pills and whatever else he could be doing to himself. The nightmares stop. We don't have to calm him down every night and tell him everything's okay and he's safe. Then you go. Like I say, I don't blame you, it wasn't working. A normal person would have just gotten over it but Blaine...The nightmares start again. So me and David are like constantly there watching over everything, looking for any evidence of anything bad. Took our eyes off him in lessons and that's it. We even resorted to going in the bathroom with him. We didn't watch him or anything but if we were there he wouldn't do anything. One day, we couldn't find him. He'd skipped lessons. Fucking Kyle, literally"  
"Oh my god" Kurt gasped.

"Turns out, Blaine's still in contact with his charming ex." Wes smiled bitterly "we got the story afterwards, I nearly choked it out of him, I was so scared for him, and I had to know. He had Kyle's phone number in his phone. He hadn't spoken to him since Kyle raped him but then after everything that had happened with you he was distraught. He needed someone to talk to and chose Kyle. Pity shag, turned into pity shag, turned into pity shag. David deleted Kyle's number from Blaine's phone and we gave him a few sharp words where to stuff it. We got other warblers to keep an eye on Blaine. He wasn't leaving Dalton again after that. Blaine stopped eating in protest, stopped going to lessons, started failing class, and got expelled. His dad's at Dalton now trying to bribe them. It's not because he's concerned or anything he just doesn't want Blaine to live with them. The gay son. Taboo subject. So Blaine's screwed basically. I can't deal with it anymore. If they expel him, like his dad can't bribe them, Blaine can't board, we can't look after him. His mum always works, like always, and his dad doesn't give a fuck."

"That's awful" Finn said.  
"He'll be dead within the week" Wes muttered before whipping away vast amounts of tears that began falling from his eyes. "You don't know him Kurt, not really, but he's nice and he's sweet and he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve any of this. After Jason and Kyle and his dad he feels pathetic. God knows I would. He doesn't want to live anymore and to be honest I don't blame him but...I don't want him to die Kurt. I really don't. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe if he really wants to go that much I should just let him...that's what David says, it's Blaine's decision and we've done all we can now...but I don't know Kurt I just don't know."

"Where's Wes?" Blaine suddenly said finally noticing the absence of his friend "Where is he David? Where'd he go? Why did he go? When? Why? Where is he..." Blaine panicked scratching his arm his eyes darting around the coffee shop. "Where is he...where...where? WES!" he screamed "WES, WES?"  
"Blaine?" Wes stood up from across the coffee shop looking confused. Blaine relaxed as he saw his friend begin to walk over and a huge smile crossed his face.  
"I thought you'd left me" He laughed in relief "I thought you'd gone and I'd be alone."  
"You were with David" Wes said stony faced "I'd never leave you alone" He swallowed a few times.  
"Yeah I know, but David without Wes is like, Crackers without butter. It's nice but it's a little too dry for my liking"  
"Oi cheeky!" David slapped him. Wes smiled slightly and caught David's eye. They weren't reacting to him like friends would. They were talking down to him. Talking to him like you would a wounded animal, trying to keep them still and calm. They hated it, hated what they had become, but what could they do about it?  
"Where did you go?"  
"Kurt's over there" Wes pointed "I was just saying hi"  
"KURT" Blaine's eyes shone and a huge smile crossed his face. Then suddenly out of the blue he started crying "He hates me, he didn't come and say hi to me. He hasn't spoken to me since... he hates me" Blaine began to wail loudly but stopped when he heard a light voice.  
"I don't hate you" Kurt whispered "I don't know you well enough to hate you. I miss you Blaine, everyday. I don't want to be your boyfriend, it wasn't working and I honestly don't think now is the right time for that. One day we might be able to fix it and be together but for now...let's...let's...let's just be friends" Kurt smiled. He couldn't believe he was taking Finns advice.  
"I get Kurt back?" Blaine asked smiling widely and practically jumping from excitement "As a friend, Kurt's my friend?"  
"Yes Kurt is!" Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed "Kurt is Blaine's friend"


	16. Illness

"Blaine" a stern voice came from behind them and they all turned to look at a man. He was tall and his presence oozed intimidation. He was thin, in a tight suit, he had black hair that fell softly over his eyes, Blaine's eyes. His mouth was also the same shape as Blaine's, but his hair was so straight. Blaine must have got curly hair from him mum or something. Kurt had only seen her once and he was running away from Blaine's house crying so was a bit preoccupied to notice her appearance.

"What did they say?" Blaine asked focusing his eyes on the table instead of looking at his father.

"Unfortunately they cannot be persuaded. Apparently you have never attended a religious education class in your 2 years of attendance at Dalton. Is what I am informed correct?" Blaine's dad said his eyes burning a hole in the top of his sons head. Kurt noticed, they had the same eyes but there was a difference, Blaine's eyes were alive and happy, his father's eyes were cold, harsh and judgemental. They talked to each other stiffly, politely with no warmth in their voices.

"Yes" Blaine whispered "I have never being in attendance that is correct"

"Why?" It was such a simple question. Said with impatience. Blaine finally looked up and met his father's eyes; Kurt looked on astounded at the amount of tension in the air. The pause was long and pregnant. Blaine didn't know. Why exactly was it he never attended RE? It was a waste of his time; he didn't have to sit an exam in it, what's the point? Well that would have been the rest of his friend's answers. Wes and David attended because the teacher had big boobs and teachers were the only girls they ever saw, that didn't interest Blaine so he had no reason for going.

"Because..." Blaine began obviously thinking hard "Because I don't believe in god" Blaine sighed. That was a good enough reason. Wasn't it? Blaine didn't believe in god, why he should listen to people rattle of nonsense. Blaine knew enough about religion to know it often contradicted himself and the more he read the less he believed. Just because he didn't believe in god didn't mean that he didn't believe in something bigger than us. Something good and pure that kept everyone grounded, something human. He didn't want to lose that as well.

"That is not a good enough reason Blaine. You are expected to attend. It is compulsory. Do you not understand what compulsory is? Do you think that there is one set of rules for everyone else and a different set of rules for you?" The man sneered. Everyone around looked nervous. The coffee shop was mostly silent now and people were shifting uncomfortably around them.

"Well, no one else goes to Religious Education. Compulsory doesn't always mean you have to go."

"That is _exactly _what it means Blaine"

"Well, no one goes to RE. Apart from these two and they only go to stare at boobs."

"Don't abbreviate words Blaine, we brought you up better than that" His father sneered "And why don't you join in on the 'boob staring' as you say"

"You know why" Blaine said quietly.

"_Still this nonsense_" His father hissed. He looked away a flash of pain showing momentarily in his cold eyes. Blaine had tears streaming down his face silently and David's hand he immediately found its way into Blaine's. "I thought you'd have grown _out of it_ by now"

Wes was the first to lose his temper as everyone knew he would be, "It's not something you GROW out of. You are BORN with it. It's completely natural and it's completely okay. You should love him anyway. You're his DAD" Wes was shaking with rage. He didn't like always been the first one to lose control. He was talking this way about Blaine though. Blaine didn't deserve anyone to talk to him like that. It had been Wes holding Blaine's hand through the nightmares, Wes searching around Blaine's room for dangerous objects, Wes nursing him, cleaning around him, desperately trying (and failing) to keep his patience, telling Blaine everything was okay...but Blaine dad, where was he? Happy his son was out of his hair, was he? Pleased he wasn't the one dealing with the brokenness most probably. Pathetic.

"I do love him!" Blaine's dad growled "He's my son"

"WELL WHERE WERE YOU?"

"I'm a busy man Wesley, I can't keep an eye on him constantly"

"Oh, but I can?" Wes laughed "I have school work to do you know? Homework. I failed midterms last year because I was helping him all the time. I didn't sleep all last year because of his nightmares. He should have been at home. He should have been with you"

"Such a burden, was he?" Blaine's father smiled maliciously.

"I never said that..." Wes whispered "It's just, he was ill, me and David shouldn't have been the people to look after him. He wasn't taking his pills. We had to ram them down his throat. You know he's stopped taking them again?"

"_What_?" Blaine's dad looked at Blaine sharply and Blaine was trying to look anywhere but his eyes. Blaine's eyes caught Kurt's and he looked so desperate. David squeezed his hand tighter and Blaine leaned into David's chest crying.

"Yeah, so maybe you should deal with it this time. You'll have to, can't porn him of on some private school."

"Well, I'm sure I can discuss matters with his mother. She will be more than forthcoming with my recommendation to place him into full time care."

"No" Blaine whispered "PLEASE" He screamed suddenly. Everyone's eyes were on him. He was bawling his eyes out and shaking "I'll start taking them. Please. _I promise_" He looked so helpless in Finn's eyes. Finn felt guilty now, Christmas, if he'd have known all this. If he'd just KNOWN how broken and lost Blaine was he'd never of called him a girl. Never have been so mean. What could he do, to make it better? Finn had to make this better. It was all his fault after all. If he hadn't overreacted to the news about Karofsky being gay, Blaine wouldn't have lashed out, Kurt wouldn't have become scared of Blaine, they would still be together and Blaine wouldn't have relapsed. Maybe he was over thinking things he wasn't sure. All he knew is he couldn't let Blaine go to some medical institution. "I'll be good. I'll be good dad I promise. I'll take my pills, I'll stay away from you...I'll do whatever you want just please."

"Blaine" His dad's lip curled "You aren't well. If you were then maybe well could tolerate each other and keep out of each other's way. You are sick and I can't look after you and pretend I like you. Don't get me wrong I love you but...I don't like what you've choose to be"

"HE DIDN'T CHOOSE ANYTHING" I voice screamed. Wait a second, Kurt thought, that wasn't Wes's voice. He turned round and found his suspicion were in fact correct. Finn was standing there bright red his fists clenched slightly. "He's a good, kind, honest, loyal, passionate, amazing man and you should be PROUD of him. So what he's gay? Who cares?"

"I care young man. I am not one of these people who are naive enough to believe you are born gay. This is what you chose."

"I'm not gay" Finn laughed "I just support gay people. It doesn't matter if you play football or play with ballerina dolls. Doesn't matter if you watch horror movies, or Disney movies, or musicals or all of them, you can still be gay. You can be camp and you can be butch but you can still be gay. I didn't understand that before but I do now. Gay people are born gay. They aren't the same, just like straight people aren't the same. I saw a guy in town the other day wearing this T-shirt that said 'Some people are gay, get over it'. I think maybe you should take that T-shirts advice"

Kurt notice tears were flowing down his face. Finn's rants didn't always make sense. They were stupid and misguided and completely off topic most of the time. This time though, he was dead on. He'd hit the nail right on the head. He was saying he excepted him, he was saying he excepted Blaine and Karofsky and every other gay person on the planet and that...well that made Kurt the proudest brother in the world. He walked forwards and wrapped his arms around Finn. Finn looked slightly shocked but he returned the hug smiling. He knew he'd made an impact. Blaine was staring at him with a look of thanks in his eyes, a look of forgiveness.

"Well that was very touching, but that doesn't disguise the fact that Blaine no longer has a home. Dalton has thrown him out and I don't want him anywhere near my house. He has no other relatives so the best place for him is somewhere he can be provided with care."

"Wes..." Blaine muttered.

"Sorry dude, I board, my parent's travel, it's a work thing, you know that...I'm sorry"

"David..." Blaine was crying again now. This was what he was like without his pills. Over emotional, the smallest thing would make him ecstatic and something even smaller would make him want to kill himself. Blaine understood what it meant to say 'life is like a rollercoaster of emotions' because in his case it was true. He dropped suddenly from highs to lows and then climbed quickly back up to the top before plummeting again. If he took his pills he was calm and composed, he was sort of numb. He could still feel, he knew happy and he knew sad, he knew love and dislike, but he never felt on top of the world or down in the dumps. The pills took away the extremes because for Blaine the extremes were dangerous. Sometimes he wished he could just have that pure, raw emotion just for a second. That's why he stopped taking his pills. But the extremes could kill him, Blaine knew that. He just couldn't help wanting more. Wanting a real life like his friends had.

"My sister doesn't like you" David shrugged "She thinks you're creepy"

Blaine banged his head against the table and whimpered. He had nowhere to go. He knew now, his only option was some mental institution. He didn't want to go there. His dad knew that he didn't want to go there. This was the perfect plan to tip him over the edge and it was working. All Blaine could think about was pain. He wanted metal, sharp, cold, lovely metal. That or pills, strong pills that he could pop into his mouth one by one, feel them sliding down his throat drawing him closer and closer to his sweet relief. He had to find something to hurt himself with. Something that made him feels again. Something that whipped him off the earth and made him nothing. He wanted death.

"He can come with us" Finn said "You can live with us Blaine"

Blaine's heart soared. "Really?" He grinned ecstatically, all forms of suicide immediately whipped from his head.

"Yes"

"What?" Kurt muttered "Finn, we can't just take him home and say 'we brought a pet, who's ill and needs to take medication. We have to watch him ever second to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or even worse' we can't look after him."

"We can Kurt." Finn said fiercely "My mum's always home, she loves Blaine. You know she does. He needs help Kurt and we are the only people _willing_ to give it to him."

"That isn't fair" Wes said harshly tears running down his face "I want to help him. I can't. He isn't allowed in Dalton, I need to go to school. If I leave Dalton to look after him, I won't have a home. I literally cannot take care of him. I'm perfectly willing to. He's my best fucking friend for fuck sake!"

"Sorry man, I didn't mean it like that, I meant we are the only people who are truly able to look after him."

"PLEASE KURT" Blaine shouted happily he was shaking from excitement and his eyes were bright. Kurt couldn't look at him. In all of two seconds he'd gone from looking deflated, like he'd never be happy again going to be manically happy...that was it, Kurt thought, that must be it. He's manic.

"I've never had to deal with a Manic Depressive, Finn, and neither have you. What if we do it wrong? I couldn't cope with him dying on me."

"Kurt, he's more safe with us then he is with him" Finn said looking at his brother. Finn looked disappointed Kurt noticed. Disappointed in him. What had he done wrong? Kurt was trying to look at things logically. He wasn't sure he could cope looking after someone with such fragile temperamental feelings. And what about Kurt? It sounded selfish, thinking about himself like that but...look at Wes and David. David looked at Blaine like he was about to explode at any second. He talked to him like you would a child, overly patient and careful not to say anything wrong. He didn't express opinions or have strong feelings encase Blaine disagreed and had another episode. Wes. Wes was just...wrong. He was unhappy, he was bitter, he had no patience and he was angry at the world. He'd given up so much of his life for Blaine. He'd become restless and uneasy and he seemed to hate himself.

"Think about Blaine" Finn whispered, seeming to know exactly what Kurt was thinking about "What would be best for him.

"He's coming with us" Kurt said strongly without missing a beat. Sure this would put strain on his family, but Blaine needed a loving, family unit to keep him strong. Kurt knew that automatically, he needed a support system. Without his family Kurt would have been dead many years ago. They kept his spirits up, showed him he was loved, accepted and supported. That's what Blaine needed right now. "Of course he's coming with us." Kurt smiled at Blaine who looked practically giddy with excitement.

"You'll regret this" Blaine's dad muttered "He's a little freak."

"We won't regret it" Finn smiled "I know we won't."


	17. I'm not going to jump him

Kurt and Finn had brought Blaine home after making a few hasty phone calls to Burt and Carole. They were both happy to have Blaine stay, if not a bit shocked about his illness. Finn and Blaine set up some gory zombie video game yet Kurt couldn't cope watching them acting 'normal'. He marched off into the kitchen and sighed deeply. His dad followed his son in and smiled at Kurt "It's a big mess, isn't it?" Burt laughed.

"I'm so sorry about this dad" Kurt hissed dragging his fingers roughly through his hair. "I...I...just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, is this right? Should he seriously _stay here_? He's sick, he needs help, can we honestly give him that? Can we?"

"I don't know Kurt" Burt sighed dramatically his eyes drifting over the door to the lounge. Noises of Blaine and Finn playing video games kept drifting in. Machine gun fire and screams of horror filling Kurt's brain driving him insane. "Kurt, I don't know what is best for him. Maybe his dad was right and he should have gone to some sort of care facility but Blaine didn't want to go. Finn is right, Carol is happy to look after him and while we can cope maybe it's best that he stays...maybe"

"Maybe?" Kurt repeated "See that's all we can say dad. Maybe. Perhaps. It Might. It could. It should. Nothing is certain and it's...it's killing me" Kurt crumpled against the counter and Burt looked at him seeming to see through to his very core.

"Stuffs messed up kiddo. You know that. Stuff is messed up and there is nothing we can do about it. Carol says she's happy to take care of him and that's all we can do Kurt. Try. If we fail then..." Burt shrugged his shoulders and sighed a sigh of despair "If we fail then we'll look at the other conceivable options."

"Dad..." Kurt looked up from his position on the floor and looked desperately into his father's eyes "What if there are no conceivable options? He's already tried to off himself. Many times apparently"

"Well Kurt. Well...what else can we do...eh?" Burt knelt next to his son and put his hands on Kurt's shoulders. Their eyes met and Burt smiled a sad smile. Cheerful noises emerged from the lounge. Blaine and Finn must have being winning their game or something.

"I don't know" Kurt started to cry hugging his knees to his chest "I don't know anything, anything at all"

"This isn't just about Blaine being ill, is it?"Burt said suddenly realising the hurt Kurt was feeling was much bigger than that.

"I...I...I...god...I just don't know" Kurt gulped a few times and clung to his father. Burt held Kurt's wailing form tight in his arms. He felt Kurt's shivers and sob reverberate through him and cursed himself internally. It wasn't like it was Burt's fault. None of this was his fault, he knew that. Burt was Kurt's father, HIS DAD, it was Burt's responsibility to make Kurt feel better but how could he do that? There was no possible way to make Kurt feel good. The only thing Burt could possibly do is be there, hugging Kurt until gradually his sobbing subsided. "I don't know him dad" Kurt whispered into his dads shoulder.

"What?" Burt allowed a crease of confusion to crease his forehead and he held his son even tighter until his grip was almost vice like on Kurt's slender frame. Kurt didn't mind though, it felt like his dad was holding the pieces of him in place and if Burt let go, for even a second, Kurt would crumble away.

"I thought I knew him, I thought I knew everything about him. Or at least everything I needed to know. He told me about his bullies and I felt like...I don't know he was opening up to me or something" Kurt laughed bitterly between retching breaths.

"He was opening up to you Kurt."

"Yeah, but not enough dad. He told me what he could bear to say. It's not his story dad, is it? It isn't even half of his story, or a third, or a sixth or an eighth...I don't know him."

"Hey Kurt" Burt said roughly "It would have been hard for Blaine to tell you that. You know that don't you?"

"Yes" Kurt huffed into Burt's shoulder "I know that. I'm just _hurt_"

"You're _hurt_?" Burt smiled.

"Yes" Kurt sighed "I know in comparison he's way more messed up than me dad but...just because he's more messed up doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel upset."

"That...that didn't make...huh?"

Kurt huffed loudly and fought his way out of his father's grip and leant back against the counter behind him. "He's upset dad and that's fine, he has every right to be. I mean just because he has so many problems and is distraught it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel upset over my minor problems."

"I know" Burt smiled down at his son "But you have to try to stay strong for him Kurt"

"I just thought I knew about him dad. I thought I knew all there is too know and I fell head over heels for him. Now I find out I haven't even scratched the surface. I know this Blaine" Kurt gestured towards the door where the occasional laugh kept drifting in "This happy, reserved Blaine. This act. I'm in love with the act. I don't know the man, dad but I still _love_ him. What if..." Kurt exhaled and whispered "What if I'm in love with some sort of a monster?"

"Blaine isn't a monster" Burt smiled warmly.

"How do you know dad?" Kurt said his voice sounding older than it had done mere seconds before.

"Because" Burt smiled "I just know...and I know he's crazy about you"

"I can't, I can't date him dad. I can't even trust him" Kurt whispered.

"I know, and that is absolutely fine, he doesn't need a boyfriend right now." Burt put his hand back onto Kurt's shoulder "But he needs you and one day he will tell you his story. I'm telling you to be strong Kurt. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you...because you don't even have a choice, you have to be strong for him. Pretend you're fine so he has fewer things to worry about."

"I don't know if I can"

"You can Kurt, I know you can"

"How?" Kurt's scratchy, small voice sounded empty.

"Because I knew a young man, not much older than you, and he was so scared." Burt looked Kurt in the eyes and smiled "He had this perfect little boy in his arms and god, he was so small. This young man didn't have a clue what to do with a baby. Neither did his wife and she was panicking. So this man stayed strong, found courage from god knows where and they pulled through. Then she went. Died in the blink of an eye when you were six years old."

Kurt smiled up at his dad "I miss her dad"

"I miss her too. I was terrified back then. I was distraught and I wanted to break down and cry but I didn't, you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because, Kurt, I didn't want you to worry about me after all that. I stayed strong for you because I love you. Now you have to do the same for Blaine"

"I'm scarred dad. I don't even know what he's capable of anymore. He attacked Finn. His dad hates him so much, there must be a bigger reason than the fact he's gay...I just...I don't know him."

"Is he good?" Burt smiled.

"I don't know!" Kurt shouted "That's what I'm trying to say."

"How do you feel in your heart Kurt? Is he good?"

"I think so" Kurt smiled lightly.

"Trust your heart" Burt looked deep into Kurt's eyes "That's all you can do sometimes kid, trust your heart"

"Thanks dad. It's just..."

"There's more!" Burt whined playfully making Kurt giggle and hit him softly.

"Why did it have to be Wes who told me? Fucking Wes!" Kurt swore but Burt didn't mind, he could be lenient about language when situations where tough.

"What's the problem with the fact Wes told you?"

"Partly because I wanted Blaine to tell me. Partly because I don't have much of an idea who Wes is. Mostly because it felt like he was rubbing it in my face, like he knew all this because he was more important than me or something"

"Kurt...I think you are reading too far into this okay son?"

"Okay"

"And Blaine will tell you this stuff himself when he's ready."

"I know."

Burt's forehead creased and it looked like he was thinking really hard of how to phrase his next comment, he took a deep breath and said "And...in light of the new..._situation_, Blaine isn't sleeping in your room"

"What?" Kurt said rolling his eyes, we aren't together, I'm not going to jump him."

"I know that Kurt" Burt laughed and rolled his eyes "Your room has too many sharp things, too many dangerous things, too many cleaning products and medication and...stuff that Blaine could hurt himself with."

"Oh" Kurt sighed "Oh, I keep forgetting that. It sounds so stupid, I mean that's the only thing I really have to remember but it's Blaine...it's Blaine...I mean...it's just so weird to think of him abusing himself like that."

"I know." Burt sighed "It's sad and it's upsetting but it's true. So Finn is going to sleep on the airbed in your room and Blaine can have Finn's room. No dangerous stuff in there, it's the size of a closet and consists of a bed and a wardrobe. Pretty safe all things considered."

"Dad?" Kurt whispered as he looked contentedly into his father's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You're amazing." Kurt let a blush cross his cheeks and smiled. His dad was one of the most important things in this world. He'd just always been there. Tonight for instance, Kurt thought, Burt had listened to all these niggling doubts and worries and fears in Kurt's mind and made Kurt feel relatively calm. Burt was reassuring and refreshing to have around. Everyday Kurt wondered what it would be like today if his father had died after his heart attack and the only thing Kurt can be sure of is the world would be a whole lot more grey. It would have had a lot less hope, love and compassion in it.

"I know kiddo, now, get in that lounge and pretend everything is normal. Stay strong kid. II believe in you."

Kurt took a deep breath and entered the lounge. That really was all Kurt needed to hear. Someone believed in him. Someone loved him. Someone cared enough for him to stay strong when they felt like falling apart. Now Kurt needed to be that person for Blaine.


	18. So, his boyfriend was a slut

Many months passed of Burt and Carole chasing round after a deranged Blaine. The attempts to sneak out of Finn's room to find razors and pills eventually subsided. Each nightmare Blaine had he would wake up to Burt's face smiling down on him telling him everything was okay. Wes and David visited every night and talked to Blaine like his friends would instead of like parents. Burt and Carole had lifted a huge weight off their shoulders by taking on Blaine and for that they were truly grateful. Their friend was slowly coming back to them, he was taking his pills and gradually becoming more and more Blaine-like. Kurt had been avoiding Blaine. Not because he didn't want to see him but because Burt had told him too. After their conversation about being strong Kurt was a whirlwind force to be reckoned with. He was doing everything for Blaine and smothering him so Burt had to tell him to back off. Kurt only talked to Blaine when they were watching telly or eating, apart from that Burt and Carole where always with him.

About two weeks ago Burt had managed to get Blaine into McKinley. What with his excellent grades and prowess on the football field he was a shoe in. He'd missed so much school however he had to be kept back a year. He was popular too, and Kurt despised that. He played football with the lads, sang in the glee club, all the girls seemed to faun over him and the teachers naturally took to his charm like a duck to water. He hadn't told anyone he was gay.

That's what bugged Kurt the most. The glee club knew of course after he'd seduced Kurt in front of them a lifetime before. Apart from that it was this big secret and Blaine wasn't attempting to change that. He flirted mindlessly with the girls and laughed with the jocks. Kurt was upset that his mentor who'd taught him to be strong and proud wasn't even that himself. It was so hypocritical. Do as I say, not as I do. Blaine had taught Kurt of courage and strength but...did he posses any of that himself?

Yeah he had been through a tough time. Kurt could accept that. He'd been beaten up by bullies far more severely then Kurt ever had. 'FAG' had been carved into his stomach leaving a nasty scar that screamed out his sexuality before anyone had the chance to truly get to know him. His first boyfriend had raped him and taken away every ounce of trust he possessed. He felt so scared he couldn't tell anyone and would rather take his own life. His own father saw him and left him for dead...It was all too dramatic. Kurt was the king of drama and even he couldn't cope with the traumatising things Blaine had been through. It sounded like some twisted emo kids perfect fantasy or some kind of horrendous, devastating Hollywood movie. It wasn't though, it was Blaine's life and he'd had to live through all that pain.

Maybe it felt nice for him too just be a normal kid every now and again. To not have to cope with been gay. Kurt wasn't blind. He knew if Blaine wasn't gay his life wouldn't have happened that way. He'd never have hated himself so much, he'd probably never have been ill. Being gay sparked off so many problems for Blaine and Kurt didn't blame him for locking himself back in the closet.

Kurt knew if he could that is exactly what he'd do. Crawl deep back into the farthest corner of the dark closet and lock himself up. It was harder for Kurt. He was a walking stereotype. He'd tried to play straight and it didn't work. He felt too restricted, like he couldn't breathe.

Still. Blaine was proud of himself. Kurt knew that. He was proud of everything he'd been through. Proud he'd come out on top and proved them all wrong. He fought against his bullies repression, he'd fought against his jerk of an ex (relapsing a few times into his arms...but still he'd fought. He let the jerk walk away. Didn't make him go to prison or young offenders. Blaine was better than that. He was better than him) and he'd fought against his dad. Kurt couldn't even imagine how hard that had to be. Blaine had fought of this illness. Not completely, Kurt knew it would always be there, but he'd kept it at bay just so Blaine could be who he was. So Blaine could be himself. Now he'd gone a thousand steps backwards. Kurt had confronted Blaine about this and he didn't really like Blaine's reasoning very much.

"Blaine" Kurt stormed into the living room after watching Blaine flirt mercilessly with a girl after school. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Blaine's forehead crumpled and he looked genuinely confused so Kurt sighed and elaborated.

"Leading on those poor girls. They actually think they have a chance with you. I bet you feature in many of their X-rated dreams and...it just isn't...it's not..._fair_" Kurt whispered slowly "I know what it's like to chase after someone you can never have."

"It's only flirting Kurt" Blaine had rolled his eyes and this infuriated Kurt even more. So his boyfriend was a slut..._ex-boyfriend_...**friend**. Kurt mentally cursed himself for letting his mind run away with itself. You and Blaine are friends; he said slowly in his head, you want it this way, remember?

"Flirting is never only flirting Blaine. You're letting her mind run away with itself"

"Okay" Blaine huffed slightly. He clasped his hands together and rested his forehead on them. He was breathing slowly and he must have been counting to ten or something because it seemed like an age until he finally talked again. "I won't do it again Kurt, okay? I promise."

"Okay" Kurt sighed.

"Good" Blaine said sharply.

"Good!" Kurt repeated in the same tone.

"_fine_."Blaine hissed and he stood up walking toward the stairs when suddenly he turned on his toes "Look!" He raised his voice slightly "It's not like we are boyfriends anymore and you need to learn that who I flirt with is none of your business. I can flirt with a girl, I can flirt with a guy, I can flirt with a _**fucking**_ plant pot if I want too, YOU GOT THAT?"

"I wouldn't mind if you where flirting with guys" Kurt said keeping his voice low and calm as not to evoke a reaction out of Blaine "This is...your only flirting with girls Blaine. No guys at all. Don't try telling me that none of the guys at McKinley are attractive enough because there are plenty of cute guys. You aren't flirting with any of them. Just the girls...it's like you don't want anyone to know you're gay!"

"And why would I want anyone to know that Kurt? Hmm?"

"So you can be yourself."

"My sexuality doesn't define me Kurt." Blaine sneered "In fact it's a small, minute part of who I am. I'm not a walking stereotype like. You. Are." Blaine breathed the last few words with contempt in his voice. Kurt felt his eyes welling up with tears and Blaine noticed this. "Oh I'm sorry Kurt. I'm really sorry!" He suddenly rushed forwards and enveloped Kurt in a hug "I don't know why I said that, I was just angry...I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did" Kurt sighed "But I don't care, you're right, compared to you I am a walking stereotype. I guess my sexuality does sort of define me...I certainly think it's a huge part of who I am. I wouldn't change it for the world. I've fought so hard to be who I am and I can't imagine going back after all that effort. You've fought so much harder than me. I just don't understand why after all that work, you'd want to go backwards and have to do it all over again." Kurt shuffled closer into Blaine's embrace and rested his head softly on Blaine's shoulder.

"Because..." Blaine sighed "They see me as this guy. This funny, cool, popular guy and the girls, they think I'm sexy Kurt..." Blaine laughed slightly like he was dumbfounded.

"Well Duh, of course you are sexy. You're gorgeous."

"Well...errm...yeah...I just don't want to let the fact I'm gay get in the way of all of that. At least until I want to come out. It's a new chance for me. To come out on my terms. Maybe if I come out when I'm at the top, well maybe I'll still be kind of cool and I won't have to be the loser kid."

"Maybe..." Kurt said doubtfully and Blaine laughed again.

"Hey I know it's a long shot" Blaine smiled and met Kurt's eyes. "So...you really think I'm sexy?"

Kurt tilted his head slightly and planed his lips firm onto Blaine's he pulled away after a second as Blaine stepped away from him.

"Errrrm..." Blaine said slowly and he looked very confused.

"Errrrm" Kurt mimicked not knowing what else to say. I'm such an idiot, he thought, why do I have to be such a god damn idiot?

"We're still friends right?"

"Yeah, Of course...friends" Kurt stormed passed Blaine and raced to his bedroom before collapsing on his bed and letting a cascade of tears wash his face.

So Kurt still liked Blaine. It was as big a shock to Kurt as it was to Blaine. He hadn't thought about him that way in months and he certainly didn't expect himself to feel that...hopeless after one stupid kiss. Kurt and Blaine avoided each other like the plague after that. Only really seeing each other at glee club and meal times. Kurt stuck to his room; Blaine to the lounge, it was almost an unwritten rule. They'd marked out their territory and neither was allowed passed the boundaries. Blaine wanted to be friends...Kurt wanted more...why was it always so hard to get what you desperately wanted?

It was a surprise to Kurt when he heard a gentle knock on his door one night after school. "Can I come in?" Blaine asked his voice soft and gentle.

"Yeah" Kurt replied a little hesitantly. Blaine walked into Kurt's room looking nervous and a little awkward.

"What is it?" Kurt asked.

"Well..." Blaine laughed nervously "I don't know where to start...it's just that...well...you're struggling financially, I can see that..."

"It isn't really any of your business Blaine "Kurt said immediately reddening "We're coping..."

"It is my business Kurt" Blaine said his voice remaining monotonous "When I'm the one draining the funds. You can cope when it's just you, Finn, Burt and Carole, but add me to the mix. One extra mouth to feed, and extra body to wash, extra gas to use and lights to illuminate...it's too much. I don't want to be a burden..."

"You aren't a burden..."

"God, listen Kurt" Blaine growled "I'm moving out. I'm going to live with Puck. I was telling him everything and he offered. His mums a nurse and she knows about my...problem. She can probably look after me better than any of you guys. Not that I need looking after...but if I relapse she is capable of dealing with me. Puck knows I'm gay cos he's in glee club and well...it doesn't seem to bother him..."

"Puck has always been one of the cooler ones" Kurt smiled "I mean he makes digs and stuff but, I can tell he's only joking"

"Well, yeah...so...I'm moving in with him. His sister likes me, his mums cool with it, Puck still has bunk beds in his room from when he was little...it's pretty much sorted..."

"You don't have to go!" Kurt whined.

"I do Kurt."

"Do...do you want to?" Kurt asked slowly.

"Yes" Blaine answered surely. "Yeah because I don't want to feel like this anymore. You have no idea what you do to me Kurt."

"What?" Kurt suddenly looked confused and he locked eyes with Blaine who immediately let his own eyes dart in the opposite direction. Blaine went read and he gulped a few times.

"I like you Kurt. You know that. I really like you. I think you're sexy and amazing and funny and cute and just...wow. I think you're perfect." Blaine went even redder then Kurt thought was humanly possible before continuing "but...I still feel...weak. I still feel ill. I need time to be on my own, to find myself and love myself before I can even think about loving you like you want me to love you, does that make sense?"

"Not really" Kurt choked back tears and laughed "But I know what you're trying to say. It just isn't the right time now. You've got issues to work through and well...let's face it...I expect too much of you"

Blaine smiled at this comment and whispered "you expect just enough of me Kurt. You make me want to impress you. You motivate me."

"When are you leaving?" Kurt whispered not even bothering to hold back the retching sobs escaping his throat.

"Tomorrow" Blaine whispered hugging Kurt close to his body "Don't be upset. I don't want you to be upset. Not because of me."

"I'm fine...I'm...I'm...not fine" Kurt reluctantly admitted "But you need to do this, it'll be good for you...for both of us" Kurt pulled out of Blaine's hug and smiled widely but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I just can't be around you Kurt. It hurts too much" Blaine said a few tears falling elegantly down his face. With that he turned round and left Kurt's room. Kurt began to cry and it was clear to him, without Blaine, he would never feel happy again.


	19. Glee assignment

Blaine wasn't used to this 'emotion' thing. Sure the warblers had more of it than say...vocal adrenaline who where soulless automatons. The Warblers how ever put emotional experiences into their songs; they did not put songs into emotional experiences. New directions worked in a totally backward way and Blaine wasn't used to it. Mr Schue had told them their glee assignment to sing a song that reflected their emotions exactly. It wasn't allowed to be an original song, apparently that would be too easy.

Blaine always thought that writing songs were hard. It took him months and months; he sat in coffee shops letting countless cups go cold while scribbling on tatty serviettes. Blaine didn't understand how finding a song that fit in exactly with your emotions could be any harder than the stress of writing a song. God was he wrong. There were so many songs out there but none of them fit..

Every song Blaine herd was about love and how wonderful everything was, and la-de-da-tra-la-la. Blaine wasn't the light and breezy sort of person. The depressing songs were all wrong too. They were impersonal and vague. Blaine had almost giving up on finding a song when he was searching through an old friend's YouTube page. This guy was his last resort. Blaine had known him back at his old school and he was kind of a poet obsessed with poetic British song writers. He was utterly convinced there must be one song on here that represented his feelings, after listening to countless Biffy Clyro, Arctic Monkeys, Oasis, Lily Allen and Kooks songs along with countless bands he'd never heard of before he stumbled upon the perfect song but it used profanities. Blaine was pretty sure Mr Schue wouldn't let them use that sort of language no matter how _PERFECT_ it was.

"Mr Schue?" Blaine asked after Spanish class. Everyone was filing out and Puck turned back a confused look on his face. Blaine shooed him with his hands and Puck shrugged and left.

"Yes?" Mr Schue asked a concerned look on his face. He liked Blaine. Who wouldn't? He was smart, polite, keen and perhaps a little bit too enthusiastic. He was lost. Mr Schue could tell that. He talked and there was no passion in his eyes. He was on the football team but he didn't seem to click with the guys. Puck had taken to him surprisingly quickly and it was moments like that Mr Schue felt proud of glee club. This Blaine guy was gay, Mr Schue know that. The whole glee club did. He wasn't sure who else knew that and it wasn't really his place to say anything. He just hated seeing repressed teenagers. Will was 95% sure that was what Blaine needed. Too open up. Which is why he'd set and assignment for the glee club to find a song that represented their feelings. It was imperative that song was written by someone else, so the kids could see, they weren't the only people to feel that way. To show them someone understood what they were going through.

"It's about the glee club assignment" Blaine bit it's lip "It's just I've found this song and It's perfect. Well it is the closest song I can find to what I'm feeling at least..."

"Well that's good. I'm looking forward to hear it." Will smiled widely and Blaine instantly knew why he liked this man. He cared. He wasn't like the other stupid teachers who just dished out work and fell asleep on their desks, he cared about the kids, about their feelings and their grades and their futures.

"Theirs just a small problem."

"Yes, what's that?"

"It excludes some swear words and I understand that is totally not appropriate. I was just wondering if I could adapt it slightly..."

"That would be fine Blaine"

"I just wasn't sure seen as you said it had to be written by someone else whether you'd take kindly to me changing the words."

"Hey, I probably won't even know what the song is anyway. Music later than the eighties is stupid" Will laugh and caused Blaine to smile.

"Says the guy who was rapping first ever glee club I came to" Blaine retorted cheekily. "Sorry, that was rude."

"Relax" Mr Schue laughed again and looked at Blaine "I'm your teacher and I do exspect a certain level of respect yes, but don't ever feel scared to be who you are around me. You've heard Kurt's sarcastic quips ever 2.5 seconds and Santana...that girl constantly picks on me. It's all light hearted and fun. I don't mind that. You only ever cross the line if you say something that was purposely meant to offend me."

"Okay Mr Schue. Although with Santana are you sure it's light hearted?"

"What?" Will frowned.

"Well, I heard her and Couch Sylvester talking about how I must be your long lost step son because of the atrocious perms and number of sweeter vests we both seem to constantly sport."

"My hair isn't a perm!" Will shouted. "Why doesn't she get that?"

"My hair isn't a perm either, I mean, do you think I'd choose to look like this?" Blaine rolled his eyes becoming free and animated instantly now he knew he wouldn't be judged for been himself. "At Dalton I used to slick my hair down because these curls are just...unruly and undignified. Finn said that I couldn't slick them down here because the jocks would pummel me into the dirt. I didn't mind too much though, I didn't like my hair slicked down either. I can't do anything with it."

"I know your pain" Mr Schue sighed overly dramatically causing Blaine to burst out laughing. "So when will your song be ready?" Will changed the subject.

"It sort of already is. I was just checking that was okay."

"It's more than okay. I appreciate initiative. You can go first after school than."

"W-W-What?" Blaine stumbled immediately reddening "First?"

"Yes. No one will judge you at glee. You know that. See you after school"

"Yeah" Blaine walked out of the door completely gob smacked. Singing your raw emotions in a room full of people was one thing, being the first person to do it was a complete other. Blaine was not comfortable with being vulnerable. The way Kurt could always sing what he was feeling without breaking down was totally beyond him. Blaine had a feeling Puck was singing 'Dead or Alive' by Bon Jovi, the amount of times he'd been wailing it in the shower these past few days he was pretty sure. Badass. That was the one word everyone always used to describe him: Badass. Blaine didn't see that. Puck wasn't badass, he was kind and considerate and even if he made digs and was a bit of a jerk he was still compassionate.

"And Blaine has volunteered to deliver his assignment first" Mr Schue said as the glee club let out a round of applause.

"Yeah...Volunteered" Blaine muttered sarcastically "I'm sure that's what happened." Kurt giggled at Blaine's sudden sarcastic outburst. Blaine was becoming himself. Finally everyone else would see the Blaine he knew.

"What are you going to sing?" Mr Schue smiled at Blaine who laughed slightly nervously.

"I'm going to sing a song called stitching leggings by Kate Nash. She's a British singer songwriter and she's actually pretty amazing. I've adapted it abit so there isn't any bad language and changed leggings to trousers seen as I've never owned a pair of leggings...and now I'm rambling so I might as well just get on with it..."

**I was sewing my trousers back together.**

**But not very well**

**I was, standing by the dashboard, when that plate, it sorta just..fell.**

Kurt was surprised Blaine had chosen this song. Mostly because Kurt had never heard it before. He was tapping his foot appreciatively and eying Blaine with a look of contemplation on his face. This song represented Blaine's feelings and Kurt needed to know how he felt. Kurt thought maybe he felt...useless?

**Well sometimes I think that I'm lucky.**

**And other times, I don't.**

**Well most of the time I just think**

**Well I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world**

**So I can't mess everything else up.**

Blaine was singing so fast. Really fast. Man this song wasn't anything like Kurt had ever heard before. Kurt liked mainstream music not indie artists and this song was nothing like he'd ever imagine Blaine singing.

**Well I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world**

**So I can't mess everything else up.**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world**

**So I can't mess everything else up.**

So Blaine feels like he's messing everything up? Well that was understandable; he'd had a hard time just recently. Kurt thought for a while. None of this was Blaine's fault. He must have been blaming himself thought.

**I was, making the dinner.**

**When it sorta just burnt.**

**I was, walking down the stairs, when I tripped, fell to the bottom**

**Broke my foot and it really **_**flipping hurt.**_

Blaine sang those last two words with such emotion. Anger like the song required but it also seemed like he wasn't just singing about physical pain. He was singing about emotional pain and how making mistakes can make you feel pointless and useless. Kurt's heart broke there and then.

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up.**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up.**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up.**

**Well sometimes I think that you hate me.**

Who? Who hates him?

**And other times I think that you think I'm endearing.**

Oh, Kurt thought, he's talking about me. Kurt smile at the word 'endearing'. He sure did believe Blaine was endearing. Blaine caught Kurts eyes and smiled slightly.

**Sometimes I just don't know you at all.**

**Even though I like to think I was a bit of a know-it-all**

Kurt snorted. His hand immediately flew to his mouth embarrassed but nobody noticed except Blaine who had a lopsided grin on his face.

**Sometimes I just can't work you out**

**Even though I'd like to know what you were about**

Kurt was smiling widely. Blaine wanted to know what he was about. Everything? Kurt watched Blaine's face drop slightly as he carried on with the rest of the song looking depressed and deflated.

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up**

**Well at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the world so**

**I can't mess everything else up**

**Well at least I don't have all the power in the world so I can't mess**

**everything else up**

**Yeah I don't have all the power in the world so I can't mess**

**everything else up**

**Yeah at least I'm lucky I don't have all the power in the**

**world so I can't mess everything else up**

Blaine sighed sadly and the glee club were applauding him. Blaine couldn't hear it. He was too wrapped up in his emotion. He wanted to cry but he knew that he couldn't. Even if the glee club accepted him, he wasn't truly comfortable with them yet.

"I just wanted to say..." Blaine said slowly "That you guys are really nice and sweet. You have welcomed me with open arms and I'm incredibly grateful for that. I think it's time I told you some things.

I'm gay.

I know you already knew that, but I've never said it and it needed to be said. Now I'm not ready for everyone to know yet but I want you guys to know because...because I know I'm accepted here.

I'm a depressive sort of guy. I know a lot of the time I get myself wound up over things that aren't important but...That doesn't stop me being upset. I want you guys to know that because I don't want any of you to think you've upset me. I get myself into these deep funks. I feel like I've messed everything up..." Blaine was crying now. He'd promised himself he wouldn't cry but he couldn't control it.

"I think you're endearing" Kurt said softly. He watched a smile play on Blaine's lips. "And if you want to know what I'm all about, just ask me...because I'd never hide anything from you."

"So you got it? You got that some of the song was about you?"

"Of course I did" Kurt grinned.

"I'm glad." Blaine said he walked over to sit near Puck. The rest of the glee club looked a bit confused. Blaine and Kurt were supposed to run into each other's arms and kiss. But he just said he was 'glad'. Kurt on the other hand couldn't whip the smile off his face. There was hope for him and Blaine yet. Blaine still wanted him. Blaine still cared about him...Kurt wanted to dance and sing with joy.


	20. My drama serves as entertainment to you

**Hey guys. This is a short chapter. All the feedback I'm getting at the moment is just amazing and I'd like to say thank you for all supporting me. I had a really big drought of ideas for about a month before the last couple of chapters came up and your guys review and feedback really helped me. Reviews are love and don't be afraid to criticize constructively because it really does help. I hope you are really enjoying this. I just thought I'd post something short to keep you guys going. I should be updating again tomorrow. :') Love you! Xx**

Blaine huffed and walked towards the water fountain. He'd just finished football practice and was really thirsty. The corridors were clearer than usual and only the football players and cheerleaders remained. Blaine drank from the fountain for a while and then leant against the wall. He had to wait for Puck to stop talking to his stupid, meat head friends so they could go home. Blaine hated the football team. He'd tried to like them. He really, really, really wanted to. They were arse holes. He'd realised that pretty quickly. He had been called a fag for dropping the ball once and that really hit home. They were using it as a derogatory term, a way it had never been used at in Dalton, He'd forgotten what it was like to go to a school where being gay was wrong. Blaine had wanted to turn round and shout 'what's wrong with that?' but he was scared too.

"Dude, aren't you changing out of your pads?" Sam had asked.

"Nah" Blaine shrugged "I'd rather change at home. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my body. I know it's gay, I'm being an idiot but...whatever" He'd marched out of the room and left it at that. That's how he came to be stood at the water fountain waiting for his lift home.

Truth was, Blaine didn't want his team to see his scar. It would make too many questions arise. He couldn't blatantly lie about being gay. If someone asked, he would come out. Blaine was sure of this. If no one asked though, well why should anyone know?

"Blaine" I familiar voice rang out behind him.

"Wes?" Blaine let a huge smile cross his face and embraced his friend. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, we came to find you and Finn and Sam and Artie and Puck and Asian dude." David said.

"I think it is incredibly offensive people refer to him as Asian dude though. Man totally uncool" Wes sighed and eyed Blaine "You look well."

"I feel it" Blaine grinned "Still, I don't really understand why you're here?"

"Oh right, well Mr Schue invited all us warblers for a sing off. He'd forgotten you guys had practise tonight so we've just been chilling out waiting for you guys to finish. We volunteered to come and get you because..." David began to have Wes cut him off enthusiastically.

"We wanted to see you man!" Wes grinned like an excited eight year old and lunged on Blaine again "We couldn't wait another second!"

"We haven't seen you since you moved in with that Puck kid." David said "It feels weird not having you around. Like someone's lobed off my arm or something"

"Totally. I'm missing lodes of appendages, not just an arm like, my whole body..." Wes said seriously.

"You took that metaphor too far Wesley. Too far" David laughed.

Blaine was in stitches of laughter. He realised how much he missed Dalton. How much he truly missed his friends. All the football squad came out of the changing room and Wes and David coughed loudly to get their attentions. Wes went into leader mode and began delivering his speech.

"Hello. I'm Wesley and this is David. We are members of the Dalton academy warblers and we have been invited to McKinley to compete in a sing off against New Directions. Your delightful teacher sent us to 'round up the troops' as he put it. So if any of you are members of New Directions you must report immediately to the auditorium."

"Firstly Wes" Blaine laughed at his friends superior front "It's called the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, not the auditorium. Secondly, stop acting like such a douche"

"I'm not a douche" Wes laughed "I'm sorry you had to transfer to this school that is obviously inferior in every way..."

"Every way but one" David giggled.

"Hmm" Wes says "Interesting. You think McKinley is better than Dalton in some way do tell..."

"Well McKinley has its selling points for Blaine obviously. The warblers have no endearing young spies"

"SHUT UP!" Blaine hissed shoving them in direction of the auditorium.

"What's the matter?" Wes asked confused.

"I'll explain later you douche just SHUT UP!"

All the glee clubs had congregated in the April Rhode's Civic Pavilion and Blaine had immediately sat at the back of the room away from everybody else. He felt upset. His friend's had just assumed he would come out to everyone at McKinley. Why did they assume that? Was he supposed to come out? Was he doing the right thing by staying closeted? What had originally being intended to be a sing off had turned into something much different. Blaine was refusing to participate saying he didn't feel well. Wes and David had immediately strayed to his side leaving the Warblers with no lead vocalists. The warblers didn't mind much. They were talking to the new directions girls. Dalton boys didn't often get the opportunity to talk to girls.

"Seriously dude _**what is up!**_" Wes snapped after ten minutes of silence.

"Nothing, okay? Nothing is up. I'm just fed up of stupid McKinley. I want to go back to Dalton. I want to be a senior, I want to get solos and...and I want to feel brave enough to be myself." Blaine raged loudly then immediately afterwards burst into tears. He looked at his friend's expecting them to shout and tell him he was an idiot but David just looked at him with a look of pity on his face.

"We understand" David said softly "You haven't told them you're gay, have you?"

"Why can you always see through me" Blaine grumbled "You always can and it does my freaking head in!"

"I'm just incredibly perceptive Blaine. Or you are incredibly transparent. Either way works fine."

"Just...I don't know what to do..."

Wes stood up and walked away towards Rachel. He looked like he was in a trance or something. "He can't deal with your drama" David laughed.

"He never could" Blaine smiled "He transferred roommates with you because he was fed up of my 'drama'. He can't cope with drama of any kind"

"Hey, he's a light and breezy guy! Drama confuses him." David smiled at Blaine supportively. "Anyway talk?"

"I...I didn't tell them I was gay."

"No shit Sherlock!"

"David" Blaine hissed harshly "Not the time!"

"Sorry. I thought it was always the time for sarcastic quips"

"David!"

"Sorry...sorry...go on!"

"Well. I didn't tell them because...because...well it isn't Dalton. Kurt has been through so much shit for just being who he is and I didn't want to have to go through that. Especially when I've only just got better."

"Can't you see though Blaine? You've just set yourself back about a thousand paces. Not coming out now just means you will have to come out later and it will be harder to deal with. It will be more of a shock to people and you'll have more enemies because they will be pissed you weren't honest with them from the start."

"Okay. Why could I not have a friend who speaks reason before now?"

"Because no one can replace me, stupid. I give the best advice." David said smugly and he punched Blaine in the arm. "How come Kurt didn't tell you all of this?"

"He tried too. But he sympathised. He's gay. I mean...he knows what it feels like to be tossed in dumpsters, slushied and shoved into lockers. If he could prevent that for himself he would. I suppose me staying in the closet makes none of that happen. He just didn't want me to get hurt. He did try though. He tried to tell me to come out. Told me it was wrong to lie to people and lead people on"

"It is." David sighed "Now you've got to put it right"

"I know" Blaine groaned "I hate you. You make too much sense"

"I know" David winked "It's a curse."

"Seriously though man!" Blaine sighed "You are the best friend a guy could ever hope for, you know that?"

"Yeah" David said smugly "You aren't too bad yourself. I miss you. Everything is really...uneventful without you"

"hahaa Oh so my drama serves as entertainment for you does it?" Blaine mocked "I love you man."

"Love you too" David said "And call me and Wes. I feel like you've disappeared off the face of the world sometimes."

"I'm really sorry. I will do. I promise"


	21. It isn't fair

Kurt heard a knock at the door and looked up slightly. Finn was upstairs and Carol and Burt had gone out for a romantic meal. Kurt carried on typing an essay on his laptop his fingers stroking the keys lazily. This was so...easy. He wasn't challenged at McKinley and sometimes that frustrated him but most of the time he was glad of it. It meant he didn't even have to try. A knock rang out again and Kurt huffed before shouting "**Finn, door**."

He continued to type and thought about getting a drink or something when he heard Finn pound down the stairs. "Dude, it's for you" Finn growled slightly "You made me move for nothing. Kurt shrugged without looking up from the screen.

"Shame" He hissed sarcastically as he carried on typing. Why did he even take French? Seriously? He was fluent and this essay was flowing out of him as easily as an English essay would. If not easier because he didn't have to use as complicated vocabulary. Finn walked back upstairs and Kurt sighed. "Sorry about him, he's a grumpy idiot sometimes. No tact at all."

"It's fine" Blaine said smoothly causing Kurt's head to spring up.

"Blaine?" He said shakily "What are you doing here-If I'd have known...you should have told me you were coming!"

"Sorry" Blaine sighed a little hopelessly Kurt noticed. "I know I should have said something it's ever so rude of me to impose like this. I can go if you'd like. I just...I wanted to tell you something." Blaine was shifting on the spot and he seemed to find the floor incredibly interesting. It was so funny how awkward Blaine was acting. Kurt would have laughed if he didn't also feel the tension in the air.

"Well...I'm typing a French essay but...it can wait."Kurt smiled. He saved his document and closed the laptop before looking up. "What did you want to talk to me about? Shoot"

"Well" Blaine began then words failed him and he didn't know what to say. Why was he here again? Because David told him to stop being afraid. He had to man up. He had to tell Kurt how he truly felt. But Kurt knew how he felt. Kurt knew and him reiterating that fact wouldn't really change anything between them, would it?

"_Blaine_?"Kurt clicked his tongue. He sounded bored and maybe slightly pissed off. Blaine couldn't remember doing anything wrong so he shoved that thought to the back of his mind and swallowed a few times trying to clear the dryness in his throat.

"I don't know what I want to say..." Blaine drifted off lamely "I know I want to say something I just-"

"Don't know what." Kurt finished harshly "I get it."

"But you don't get it." Blaine said "That's the thing. If you got it I wouldn't be here."

"Why are you here Blaine?" Kurt stood up and marched into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water. By the time he got back into the lounge Blaine was sat on the couch hands firmly placed against his head. "You always look so...so...so fricking _uptight_! Just chill out."

"I get jittery around you" Blaine smiled "My thoughts and words get muddled up and come out incoherent. It's a reaction I can't control, I try to, I really do but I get scared around you."

"You get scared around me?" Kurt laughed "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just sitting here waiting for you to say something coherent and get out of my house"

Blaine flinched slightly and Kurt regretted his words instantly. He was being too harsh, he knew he was. When Blaine was around him he became panicked. He also didn't know what to do or say around Blaine. Kurt was hurt. Understandably. Blaine had rejected him, denied his sexuality, told him he had feelings for him, sang him a love song (sort of) and then not acted on his feelings. Kurt felt like he was a pawn in Blaine's game. In the grand scheme of things he was useful. However he was unimportant and disposable.

"Maybe I should go" Blaine said after a huge time of silence "You don't want me here."

"Stay" Kurt whispered "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair. It's just...you've _hurt _me Blaine. I feel this physical ache whenever I'm around you and...It's hard for me too you know?"

"When did it start being so difficult?" Blaine spat out bitterly. "When did it stop being natural, like breathing?"

"When you nearly hit my step brother" Kurt said bluntly but in a way that Blaine knew he didn't mean to offend him.

"That was a mistake" Blaine said quietly but surely "It was the spark of all these stupid problems. If I could have just reigned in my anger I'd still have you, I'd still be at Dalton, I'd have my mum-"

"You don't have your mum anymore?" Kurt asked shocked and he watched the blush that spread to Blaine's cheeks. "Blaine?"

"My dad said if I made contact with her he'd make sure they put me in some kind of care facility. He said if he couldn't find a way to make that happen then he'd get some of his friends to put me in the hospital"

"He said **WHAT?**"

"Don't make me say it again. It doesn't matter" Blaine said sadly. It did matter though. Kurt could tell it was written all over his face. It mattered. He'd been threatened by his dad. The man who was supposed to love him, care for him and protect him was the man threatening to put his life in danger. Blaine had come to accept this as something that just happened. This was normal for Blaine. Kurt felt sick.

"It matters Blaine. You know it matters." Kurt sighed "But I understand if you don't want to talk about it..._you never want to talk about anything_"

"What exactly is that supposed to mean Kurt?" Blaine said the tears shining in his eyes.

"You don't talk Blaine. I mean you do talk, you talk a lot but you don't really say anything." Kurt tried to think of how to phrase things without making things confusing. Blaine was right. Their relationship used to be so easy but now...now it felt like a strain to talk to him. It was like an addiction though, Kurt couldn't bear to talk to Blaine yet he couldn't bear _not_ to talk to him either. "You never say anything of substance, anything important. You know everything about me Blaine; I couldn't even tell anyone your last name."

"It's Anderson"

"Okay."

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Are you not going to say anything else" Blaine laughed sulkily.

"You're the one who came here to talk." Kurt muttered miserably.

"I should be able to say this. To tell you what I'm feeling. But I aren't because...Dalton is poison"

"You can't tell me how you feel because of a school you don't even go to anymore?" Kurt said resentfully. He laughed slightly and shook his head. "I can't believe you"

"Kurt, Dalton isn't this big fairy tale. It's a bubble where you come to think the world is this perfect place. You block out everything that isn't perfect because if you take it into Dalton it pops the bubble. Everything is supposed to be good all the time and if you take your shit in there you mess it up. Why do you think Wes and David were the ones looking after me and not the teachers? They didn't tell the teachers Kurt. Not a word. If they'd found out they'd have just chucked me out because I was ruining their students mellow."

"Well I'm sorry about that" Kurt hissed.

"Look I'm trying to explain to you why I don't spout of my feelings freely. I'm trying to explaine to you why I find having emotions harder than you and your acting like I'm an idiot. Surely that's just going to repress me more."

"I'm sorry, it's hard for me too you know. To just sit here and...and..."

"And?"

"Nothing. Tell me more about Dalton"

"Everyone thinks it's this magical place, you know? Where nothing bad exists. Where all the prejudice vanishes and everyone accept each other for who they are. You think the bullies just disappear at the doors but it's not like that"

"Then what is it like?"

"Bullies still exist there. They just aren't allowed to be vocal about it. They have to fit into this mould, this Dalton mould of a respectable boy. Well it would be a little hypocritical to ask them to be someone they aren't without asking everyone to be someone their not. In Dalton everyone is expected to act the same way. No personality, no hopes or fears or dreams or even emotions. We have to be prim and proper and respectable." Blaine looked lost "I don't know how to be who you want me to be Kurt. I want to be able to tell you how I feel it's just...I'm so far into this Dalton mould I don't know how to change"

"It's interesting you use the word 'mould'"

"It is?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Very. You see...if something can be moulded into one shape it can be moulded back, like plastercine. I can help you find yourself Blaine. Your true self. You just have to be honest with me...when you know how to be anyway."

"I can try Kurt"

"So what did you come here to tell me?"

"I love you" Blaine breathed his eyes darting to the floor again. Why did he find the damn floor so interesting?

"No you don't" Kurt repeated in the same tone. His eyes darted to the floor and Kurt internally cursed himself for his own sudden interest in the floor.

"Yes Kurt I do. That's what I came here to tell you. I wanted to tell you I love you and that I want you back."

"You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you'll find you get what you need" Kurt sang.

"What do you mean?" Blaine growled feeling the anger rise up in him again.

"I 'm not a possession Blaine. Just because you want me back doesn't mean I'm going to fall into your arms and be happy all of a sudden. You discovered you _want_ me. Fair enough. **I don't want you**. If you really _need_ me, if you can't live without me, you'll try a little harder and if you try sometime you'll find you get what you need."

"That's a joke" Blaine laughed "That's not you saying you don't love me back Kurt. Do you know what you're saying? You're saying you are a spoilt little brat who needs pampering before you'll let me be your boyfriend"

"No, I'm not saying that at all." Kurt snapped "I'm saying you're going to have to try a little harder to win me back. Not because I want stuff Blaine but because I don't believe you."

"You don't believe me?"

"I don't believe you really love me. I feel like I'm being played. Like I'm falling for all your tricks and I'm not just going to reattach myself to your side because you want me. You are going to have to prove to me you love me. Prove you need me because at the moment...I just can't trust you"

"I love you Kurt" Blaine said softly and sincerely "I don't know what else I can do or say to prove it to you. Why don't you believe me?"

"Because you don't do this to people you love. First we fool around and you reject me and make me feel so worthless, then you invite me to your house and shout abuse at me and make me feel so small, then you sing to me and make me feel amazing, you get on with my family and we have this wonderful week together and I feel so...lucky, Then you ATTACK my stepbrother and make me scared of you...

Then I'm too terrified to be in the same room as you,

Then without me you turn yourself into this mess, you stop wanting to look after yourself.

When I saw you like that I felt guilty Blaine, like I had to take you in, like it was my fault. Then you start getting better and I fall for you all over again, I kiss you, you reject me again and run away to Puck's house. I feel stupid and alone and worthless all over again. Now you're here telling me you love me again. It isn't fair. It's just isn't fair. It's not FAIR. It's not fair on me. Can't you see that? _It just isn't fair_."

"How can I prove it to you?" Blaine whispered "How can I prove to you that I love you?"

"Well, that's for you to work out isn't it?" Kurt shrugged his shoulders.

"I can't live without you Kurt. I know I can't. I love you so much and I'm not going to stop trying to prove it to you till the day I day. You know that?"

"Yeah" Kurt smiled "I do"

Blaine smiled before standing up "I better get going; Puck's mum will kill me if I'm late to dinner again"

"See you later" Kurt said "And Blaine..."

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, don't you?"

"Yes Kurt. I know you love me. And I love you. And I'll find a way to prove it too you. I hope I do"

"Me too" Kurt couldn't wipe the smile off his face as Blaine walked out of the door. He opened his laptop back up and resumed his French essay with a new lease of life. Even if Kurt couldn't quite believe Blaine loved him, Blaine was going to prove it, and that certainly was something for him to look forward too.

Blaine felt ecstatic. Maybe that wasn't the way he'd imagined things in his head. Kurt didn't jump on him and they didn't kiss and they weren't together but somehow everything went better than that. They'd both said stuff they needed to say. Everything was out in the open now. They'd taken a big step in the right direction. Blaine didn't quite know what to do but at least they hadn't given up on each other. Blaine knew he would never give up on Kurt. Love would find a way, He thought, if I've learnt anything from cheesy sixties films, it's that love always finds a way.


	22. Badass

Burt walked down the stairs groggily. His eyes were half closed and he was still half asleep. There was a bang and Burt found himself writhing on the floor in pain. Burt hoisted himself up feeling awake now and looked around him for the first time. The living room was covered in packets of...redvines. Why? He wasn't even going to ask. "Kurt, Finn, why are there redvines all over the house?" He screamed. Okay, he was going to ask. Curiosity had gotten the better of him. Burt wanted to know the reason for his painful wake up call.

Kurt and Finn staggered from their various rooms into the lounge covered him packets of redvines. There must have been a year's supply at least. "Eww revines gross!" Finn shivered and made his way towards the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

"Sweet" Kurt whispered "More for me!"

"Kurt, I found a note." Burt frowned "it says 'I will prove it too you, you know?' what does that mean?"

"It means these redvines are for me. From Blaine"

"**Why get you redvines? WORST. CANDY. EVER.**" Finn shouted from the kitchen.

"No, Finn, just no. You are disowned" Kurt smiled and opened a bag of redvines. Normally he didn't eat too many sweets, bad for the skin, but come on it was REDVINES!

Blaine gazed down at Puck who was lying awake on the bunk bed below him "Thanks dude" He smiled.

"Hey, I'll break into the Hummel's to delivery candy anytime you want" Puck grinned "They have a widescreen telly and a full fridge"

"You didn't"

"A monster movie marathon was on" Puck shrugged "and they had beer"

Blaine laughed "And Mr Hummel owns a shot gun"

"First, his name is Burt, Second, He likes you so by default he has to like me seen as I'm your best friend and all and third, I stole his shot gun months back"

"Oh" Blaine looked stunned slightly. Yep he was starting to see where Puck got his badass reputation from.

"I just want you and Kurtsie back together" Puck laughed "So every time you look down at me I don't want to ravish you. If you were taken I could stand you to sleep there looking so cute but cos you're single..." Puck shrugged.

"WOAH! Straight guy say what?" Blaine jumped and banged his head on the ceiling which made Puck laugh even more.

"I'm joking." Puck said sternly "Totally straight bro!"

"Sweet Niblets! Don't scare me like that"

"Blaine?"

"Yeah"

"I think you need to stop hanging around with my little sister!"

"Sarah is sweet" Blaine pouted slightly "And she promised we could play sing star tonight. Why don't you like me hanging around with her, you jealous?"

"No! It's just being best friends with a guy who quotes Hannah Montana is kind of bad for my image."

"Good day"

"What?"

"I said good day daddy!" Blaine said as he jumped out of the bunk bed and stormed out of the room leaving Puck laughing. Gosh he was adorable.

Okay, so Puck is totally badass. He is the king of badass. Puck is tough and strong and awesome and clever and he could wear a dress to school and people would think it was cool. Puck was totally straight. I mean dude, look straight up in the dictionary and you might as well just have a big picture of Puck there. Thing is, because Puck was so badass he had to push the boundaries every now and then. He had to do things he wasn't expected to do. Blaine was cute. No one could deny that. He fancied having a friend with benefits. One that wouldn't get all clingy and needy like Santana. Santana had Brittany and Santana was also 100% straight. He wasn't sure about Brittany, he had a feeling she may be batting for team bisexual. Still, the point Puck was trying to make in his head was, he was a horny teenager and he had another horny teenager in his room, does it really matter that Blaine isn't a girl when he could get sex out of it?

Later that day Sarah and Blaine were dancing around to California Girls and Puck couldn't help but stare. "Blaine?" He asked.

"What?" Blaine stopped dancing and turned around out of breath.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Okay?" Blaine said confused but he followed Puck out of the living room promising Sarah he'd be back shortly and ended up back in his and Puck's joint bedroom.

"Have I done something wrong?" Blaine asked "Do you now like me hanging out with your sister? Or am I acting too gay or something? Ruining your rep?"

"No"  
"Then why are you acting so weird?"

"Do you want to play COD with me?" Puck spat out. He was going to kiss Blaine but decided against it not quite knowing why he thought trying to stick his tongue down Blaine's throat would be a good idea. That was a really bad idea.

"Okay"

"Blaine!" Sarah marched into Puck's room a look of pure hatred on her 11 year old face "You promised you'd come back, it has been three hours!"

"Sorry Sarah, we got caught up"

"Why would you want to hang around with my stinky brother for?" She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Puck.

"Come on Sarah, he's kind of fun!"

"No he isn't! He's horrible and I hate him. We need to finish our dance. Come back downstairs"

"I'm playing with Puck now Sarah" Blaine smiled.

"His name is Noah. Puck sounds stupid. He thinks he's badass but he's just a butterfaced wiener dog" Sarah moaned "Come play with me"

"Sorry babe, maybe later" Blaine flashed another charming grin in Sarah's direction and she went bright red before calling Puck a few choosy words and leaving.

"OH Noah you smell!" Blaine stuck his tongue out.

"Well at least I don't quote Hannah Montana and dance around like a stupid girl."

"Noah you butterfaced...what was it? Oh yeah you're a wiener dog aren't you?"

"YOU are sooo gunna get it!" Puck growled before jumping up Blaine and beginning to tickle him like hell. Blaine was squirming beneath him. He looked so adorable. His face scrunched up in laughter and his breathing so fast and heavy. His laughter was like music. That's the only way Puck could describe it. Yes, Blaine was cute and funny and had a major geeky obsession with superheroes...he was Puck's best friend, he was awesome, and he'd be up for sex right? He's depressed and single. Puck stopped tickling Blaine and rolled off him. Damn he was confused. Puck knew he liked girls, girls were smoking. Puck didn't like boys, not in that way, but since Santana and Brittany had turned into shag buddies, Puck hadn't been getting any. He'd be up for anyone or anything. Damn he'd even been purving on Rachel and making out with Lauren Zizes in the janitor's closet. Puck refused to pleasure himself, people who couldn't get laid did that shit. Puck could get laid. He could.

"I think I better go apologise to your sister, finish that dance with her maybe"

"I think she has a little crush on you. Did you see how red she went when you called her babes?"

"I think you might be right. I should be more careful around her" Blaine smiled smugly "Still, nice to know people find me attractive."

"Blaine?" Puck asked.

"What?"

"I'm sort of looking for a fuck buddy if you are interested?"

"You're joking right?" Blaine said slowly but before he could say or think anything else Puck had barged across the room and smacked their lips together. Their teeth were clashing and Puck was trying to snake his tongue into Blaine's mouth. Blaine tried to push Puck off him but Puck wasn't budging.

**Ohh cliff hanger! I wasn't sure whether to do this to puck or not but MEH its fiction, it's not like it's the show or anything. You guys have three options 1. Puck rapes Blaine not knowing about Kyle raping him before and causing a whole lode of trauma and shit. Puck insists he's straight and just was in the need of sex.  
2. Blaine fights him off and goes too Kurt crying and Kurt and Blaine make up whilst Puck starts to realise he might be gay.  
3. They do the dead but both are cool with it. Blaine doesn't know whether or not to tell Kurt and Puck starts to wonder whether he is bi. **

_**Reviews=love. Opinions are important! If you don't tell me which option to go for it might go in the direction you totally didn't want it too!**_


	23. Worthless

Puck carried Blaine over to the bed and Blaine had frozen paralysed in fear. He'd decided fighting was not a good option for him to take; it wasn't like he was worth fighting for. He was worthless and useless he should just take whatever was coming to him. Blaine lay there unresponsive allowing Pucks tongue to slide into his mouth and explore the contours of it. Blaine could feel the tear sliding down his face and felt embarrassed. He had no reason to be embarrassed it was Puck in the wrong but crying? It was so weak, it was girly and pathetic.

Puck tasted the salt on Blaine's lips and pulled back puzzled. Dude, seriously, was he crying? "What the hell man, why are you crying?"

"Because I got mouth raped by a straight guy!" Blaine growled trying to control the sobs escaping his throat.

"Straight is just a label" Puck laughed. His gaze fell over Blaine again who had curled up into a tight ball and was shivering as cascades of tears flowed down his face. Blaine began to rock slightly and was muttering something about 'Deserving it' and 'being a tease' and 'I'm pathetic'.

"Look, do you want to have sex with me or not?" Puck asked calmly.

"Not" Blaine whispered quietly "What gave you that impression Puck? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong. You just looked sexy and I wanted a shag. Anyway it wasn't like you were pushing me off or anything"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Blaine hissed through clenched teeth.

"You wanted it as bad as me." Puck said smirking. He suddenly felt Blaine's hands round his throat and he was shoved heavily against the opposite wall. Puck couldn't breathe but managed to gasp out "Oh baby I'm good for kinky if that's how you like it"

"YOU'RE A JERK!" Blaine screamed. He shook Pucks body and slammed it against the wall even harder this time hearing a slight whimper escape from the 'badass's' lips. Blaine smirked slightly and looked at Puck's surprised face. "You think cos I'm a hobbit I can't beat guys like you up. I attacked Finn on Christmas day remember? That's why me and Kurt broke up. I'm stronger than you think."

"So why didn't you push me off you before, if you didn't want it that is?" Puck gasped out.

"Shut up Puck. You don't know a thing" Blaine snarled. He released his grip on Pucks neck and retreated to a corner of the room before sinking down to the floor bawling.

"I know I'm hot as" Puck sighed "I know it must be hard for you to live in my room and not tap my fine ass. I know you want it as much as I do so why fight it?"

"Because, I. DON'T. WANT. IT" Blaine raged "If I wanted it, I'd have instigated it a long time ago. I thought you were _my friend _Puck! I thought you cared about my feelings."

"I care about you getting serviced to when you need it. You're a guy, dude, guys want sex. You're gay, I thought you'd be up for it"

"I'm a guy yes, guys want sex I'm not going to argue with you there, but...Just because I'm a guy and I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to jump on every guy I see.

I'm in love with Kurt.

Puck I love him so much and sleeping with you would jeopardise that. I have slept with one guy in my life. Just one. He raped me. You know that? He stuck his dick up my arse and let me writhe about in pain and scream and bleed. He didn't give a **fuck** about me.

I slept with him more than once. I strayed back into his bed whenever things got bad. Whenever I got too sad. Sex was more like a...punishment for myself than a pleasure. Whenever I fucked up and I felt disgusting and cheep and worthless, I'd go shag him and feel even worse.

I...I...I...don't _know _how to have sex for fun. I _can't fucking wait_ to find out what that feels like, but not with you, hopefully with Kurt. With someone I trust and respect and love, someone who'll make me feel special. Not someone who'll stick their tongue down my throat and not really give me an option." Blaine sneered, crying even more now and staring at Puck with a look of utter loathing. "I thought you were going to rape me Puck. I thought that was going to happen to me again"

"Then why didn't you push me off?" Puck said shocked. He was gawping, whatever he'd expected Blaine too say it hadn't been that.

"Because..." Blaine laughed bitterly "Well because maybe I deserve it."

"You don't...how could you say something like that...what?" Puck growled astonished.

"Well, its true isn't it?" Blaine let the tears continue to stream down his face "You and Kyle are the only people to have ever wanted that sort of thing off me. You've both treat me like I'm a cheap little whore. When people treat you that way, you start to believe it."

"Blaine..."

"I'm going"

"What?"

"I can't stay here...I can't bear to look at you...You disgust me!" Blaine hissed he stood up and gathered a few things into a bag. He didn't take most of his stuff because he couldn't stand to be in the same room as Puck for a second longer. He ran towards the door.

"Blaine! If I'd have known-"

"-why does it matter that you didn't know, Puck?" Blaine snarled "It is never okay to treat anyone like that. You wonder why I think I'm worthless when people treat me like I'm worthless. I know how I should be treated Puck. No one seems to think I'm good enough for that"

"I'm sorry"

"I know"

"Dude, you're my best friend, I'd have never ever treated you like that-"

"-if you'd have known. Yeah yeah" Blaine muttered before slamming the door behind him and running downstairs Sarah emerged from the lounge as she saw a Blaine-like-blur rush past her.

"So you came to your senses and stopped playing with that wiener dog." She smiled "Come on let's finish our dance."

"I can't" Blaine tried to smile but it turned into more of a grimace. He knew that tear tracks would have still being visible on his face. His face also felt significantly warmer and puffier than before.

"A-a-a-are you okay?" Sarah pouted slightly "If it's that idiot upstairs ignore him. He's a mean bully. I told you not to play with him"

"I should have taken your advice" Blaine smiled genuinely this time. He knelt down so he was about a foot shorter than the eleven year old and grabbed her hands "I'm going to have to go away Sarah. I can't stay here..."

"What has he down now?" Sarah's lip quivered "He always ruins things."

"Hey" Blaine chuckled. He brushed Sarah's face with his hand "Don't you dare cry. It's not Puck's fault, I promise" Blaine lied. "Puck wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose would he?"

"Yes. That's what Puck does" Sarah moaned "Puck hurts people to make himself feel better."

"You're a clever girl Sarah. Really clever, but in this case you're wrong. I'm leaving because I want to go live with someone else. That's all"

"You don't want to live with me anymore?" Sarah was crying now. Puck had been right; his little sister had a crush on Blaine. Blaine immediately put on the most comforting smile he could muster and stared intently into the girl's eyes.

"I don't want to live here anymore. I would happily live with you. I don't think my friend's dad would like that very much though. I just want to be near my friend again Sarah. I love him and I want to win him back."

Sarah's eyes widened and her mouth actually popped open in shock. It wasn't long till a smile was brandished on her face "Will you be my gay best friend?"

"Of course" Blaine laughed.

"I was wondering why you wasn't immediately in love with me. I thought we were perfect for each other. It was starting to make me upset. If you're gay that's totally cool. I mean at least now I know why you're not in love with me."

"Oh Mon Chérie I am in love with you, just in a different way. I love you like a sister"

"I would say I love you like a brother, but that would mean I loved you as much as I love Puck..." Sarah shivered and pulled a disgusted face "You're far nicer then Mr Stinky-pants up there"

"Bye bye Sarah."

"Bye Blaine" Sarah wrapped her arms tightly around Blaine. Blaine felt himself beginning to cry again. He would miss it here. He did really love this little girl and Puck's mum was also fabulous. Puck didn't know about Kyle, Blaine knew that, Puck never would have done that if he had known. That didn't make it much better and Blaine was angry, annoyed and hurt at his 'so-called-best-friends' actions but still... Puck was a good guy. Deep down. Blaine would forgive him. One day at least. Blaine hadn't entrusted many people with the information about Kyle. He'd told Wes and David and his Mum and Puck. That was it.

Sure everyone at Dalton _knew_ about it but he didn't _**tell**_ any of them. He hadn't even told Kurt, Wes told Kurt, Blaine normally kept that information to himself. Still he'd told Puck and he wasn't quite sure why he'd told Puck. Something just felt right. He felt like Puck needed to know. That showed he subconsciously trusted Puck, surely?

Blaine had tears streaming down his face again. He was walking along the side walk his arms clutching painfully around his chest. He was walking with his head hunched forwards and his eyes firmly place on the pavement. That's how he came into contact with Mercedes.

"Watch where you're going white boy!" Mercedes hissed at him, she then saw it was Blaine and gasped "Baby, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Mercy, honestly" Blaine carried on walking when he heard a 'MMMM-HMMM' and was grabbed by the shoulder and flung back round to face Mercedes again.

"Firstly, only Kurt can get away with calling me Mercy, its 'MER-CAY-DEES', try it?"

"Mercedes" Blaine muttered

"Thank you. And secondly, you are not okay" Mercedes snapped sassily "So what's wrong?" Her tone immediately lightened and Blaine saw why Kurt liked her. She went from being a perfect sassy diva to being a loving caring friend yet still somehow seemed like the same person. She didn't have two personas like Blaine did but she had two tones. A confident self-sure tone and a caring soft tone. Blaine smiled at her slightly. He liked Mercedes, he knew she meant well, but he still didn't know her too well.

"I'm not okay. You're right. I don't really want to talk about it though. I just want to be on my own, clear my head, please?"

"Okay white boy. But I expect a full explanation of this little scene Monday at school."

"You bet" Blaine smiled again before walking off and trying to stop the tears from falling down his face. It wouldn't work no matter how hard he tried. Around ten minutes of aimless walking later a man in a truck pulled up beside him.

"Get in the truck" Burt shouted.

"What?" Blaine blinked bleary eyed and then noticed it was Kurt's dad. "Oh Burt, Hello" He smiled widely.

"Look you don't fool me. You're distraught. Mercedes told Kurt he told me and I've been driving around in the truck looking for you all this time. Nearly gave me a heart attack...thought I was going to be too late..."

"Too late for what?" Blaine said. A few seconds later recognition dawned on him "Oh. Ohhhh. You thought I was going to kill myself."

Burt jumped "Sheesh son don't say that! Just get in the truck. I'll take you back too ours, let Carole fuss over you, watch the game, you and Kurt can talk fashion and then...well then I'll take you wherever you'd like."

"Mr Hummel...Burt...could I...Perhaps..._staywithyouguysagain_" Blaine spat out quickly.

"You're kidding right? I've missed you like hell! Jump in kid" Burt was smiling so genuinely Blaine couldn't help but smile.

**Okay so most people said option 2. I didn't want to turn Puck gay cos that would be **_**wayyyy**_** too out of character so I kept him straight and insisting he just wanted sex. It is working up to a big Kurt and Blaine convo about what happened. Let's just say Kurt will not be very happy with Puck. This story is also working up to a Klaine reunion but give it a few more chapters and I promise you will be happy with how it goes. I also had a lovely reviewer stating how someone needed to get laid. That review made me smile a lot. There will be a chapter with someone getting laid at some point so hold out for that as well. What do you guys think so far? **


	24. I thought you were dead

"BLAINE!" He heard that familiar high voice shriek and then he was almost tackled to the floor into a hug.

"Woah!" Was the only thing Blaine could articulate as he rocked a sobbing Kurt in his arms. He must have really worried him. He was such an _IDIOT_. He should have just told Mercedes what was wrong. Of course she was going to text Kurt. Kurt knew how broken Blaine was, of course he was going to think the worst. "I'm sorry" He whispered into Kurt's hair. "I should have told Mercedes I was okay and explained it all to her. I was just a bit...upset. I wasn't going to **do** anything"

"You scared me" Kurt said into his chest "I thought you were dead"

"No." Blaine said, he put his mouth close to Kurt's ear and whispered quietly so only Kurt could hear him "I wouldn't die now I've got something to live for" Kurt pulled away from Blaine and met his eyes briefly a shy smile crossing his face.

"Carol is cooking" Kurt said "She had faith in you not to do anything stupid. I feel guilty now. I should have trusted you not too...you know?"

"Hey Kurt, don't sweat it. I have got a previous record" Blaine smiled widely "I'm the one who feels guilty. I'm really sorry I worried you"

"No, I should have known you wouldn't-"

"-guys seriously" Burt said "Can we get off the porch please I'm freezing my arse off out here"

A nervous laughter rang out and Kurt and Blaine looked in opposite directions. Burt rolled his eyes and strided past them into the house.

"We should-" Kurt began.

"Yeah" Blaine said following Kurt into the house where he got whisked immediately into the kitchen and into Carole's loving embrace. The Hudmel's felt like home to him and as soon as he smelt Carole's cooking he realised how much he'd missed it there. Whilst they ate in the kitchen Burt explained to them how Blaine would be living with them again. Blaine looked deeply into Kurt's eyes trying to see into his soul. He had a poker face on and Blaine wondered if this was okay. He didn't want anything to become awkward. Kurt was totally in love with Blaine, it was obvious and Blaine was in love with Kurt, but to Kurt that wasn't obvious. Hanging around someone you love when you think they don't reciprocate those feelings is hard. Hanging around someone you love when you think they are _lying _when they tell you they _do reciprocate those feelings_...that must be utter torture.

"He is not sleeping in my room!" Finn wailed.

"Finn Hudson! Yes he is. How rude of you" Carole eyed him with a stern face across the table.

"I've only just got my room back. Kurt's room smells of roses and I got picked on at school for smelling like a gay-er and they thought we were together mum. They thought we were in love" Finn looked distressed and Blaine wanted to laugh. Finn sure was paranoid about being viewed as gay. Not only that but he was obsessed with popularity, Blaine wondered if Finn knew it was okay to be different every now and again.

"I don't mind having him in my room" Kurt said softly.

"But-" Burt began but then he saw Kurt's face staring harshly at him.

"You say one thing about us both being gay and I will punch you so hard you will not know what day it is, are we clear?" Kurt hissed through gritted teeth.

"Sorry" Burt muttered. Kurt didn't usually talk to him like that so he must have hit a nerve. It surprised him how Kurt knew exactly what he was going to say. Maybe he was being unfair, if Finn had been sleeping in a room with Blaine he wouldn't have batted an eyelid. On the other hand if Finn had being sleeping in a room with Blaine nothing would happen. Burt knew Kurt and Blaine weren't together at the moment but it was hard to deny the sexual tension that radiated between them when they talked. The air of awkwardness that encapsulated them every time they spoke. Burt knew how that felt. He knew how a little conversation could lead to shouting, or kissing, or crying everything feeling more intense and passionate. He just didn't want Kurt to feel uncomfortable in his own room.

"I...I...I don't mind." Blaine breathed "As long as you don't Mr Hummel and you Kurt?"

"For the millionth time it's Burt. You call me Burt and then when you want something it's Mr Hummel!"

"I'm just being polite" Blaine flared red and Kurt's eyes were boring holes into Burt again.

"I didn't mean to offend you, I was just joking...and I'm fine with it if you two are fine with it."

"Then it's sorted" Kurt cut them off abruptly "You are sleeping on the air bed in my room and no more is going to be said about it" Kurt stood up and shoved his plate into the sink. He then marched out of the room and Blaine followed him with his eyes.

"Is he...do you think he's okay with all this?" Blaine said a blush appearing on his cheeks "I really don't want it to be awkward and he seems a little..."

"Pissed?" Burt laughed.

"Well...yeah"

"One thing I've learnt is when Kurt makes up his mind you can't stop him. He wants you in his room and that's what he gets. Don't upset him, don't take advantage of him and don't do anything under my roof...at least when I'm in"

Blaine turned as red as a tomato and his eyes fell to his barley touched plate of food "I won't" He said "I don't think he'd want me too anyway. He doesn't trust me. I'm not a very trustworthy person I guess" Blaine shrugged "I do keep all my cards close to my chest"

"Hey, that isn't necessarily a bad thing" Burt scolded "and Kurt will come to see that eventually. I'll make him see it if I need too. I'm not going to let him let you walk out of his life Blaine. You two have something. Now I'm not saying you're going to be together forever or anything like that but...it would kill me to think you never even gave it a real chance. It would kill me to think he regretted letting you go."

"Thank you Burt" Blaine smiled slightly "May I be excused. I'm exhausted, from all the crying, you know?"

"Okay" Burt smiled fondly "and son..."

"Yeah?" Blaine grinned at that word again. Son.

"You don't need to ask to be excused in this house. Everyone just does whatever the hell they like as long as it doesn't cause trouble to anyone else. Like if there is a football game on and Kurt wants to watch Project Runway, I make sure the football goes on and Kurt finds it on the internet later."

"Well that's fine by me" Blaine smiled "I usually watch football first and catch up with other shows later anyway"

"Do you...do you watch Project Runway?" Burt gawped shocked.

"Maybe..." Blaine said in a small voice before laughing and walking towards Kurt's bedroom. He was a good kid. That's the only think Burt thought of when he thought of Blaine. How good he was, how nice and polite and kind. Maybe he was a bit broken. Maybe his mind was a bit of a minefield but he would never intentionally hurt anyone. He had reason to be closed off, Kurt would see that eventually, he had too.

Blaine knocked on Kurt's door. The least he could do was respect his privacy. "Kurt?" He said loud enough for him to hear.

"Come in" Kurt said. His voice sounded a little raspy and Blaine was apprehensive about entering.

"Are you sure? 'Cos I can come back if your...if you feel...if you want me too" Blaine sighed.

"God, just come in Blaine" Kurt said harshly. Blaine opened the door and gasped at what he saw. Kurt was sat up on top of his bed clutching a pillow to his chest. His eyes were red and puffy. _**He was crying?**_ Well he had been crying.

"Is this because I'm sharing a room with you? Because I'm fine to sleep on the couch if you feel uncomfortable"

"Always the gentleman" Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes. Blaine could tell he was just teasing so he let a small smile cross his face. He walked over to Kurt's bed and perched on the end a little unsure whether this was inappropriate considering their current situation.

"Well, why are you crying?" Blaine whispered. He was so scared of overstepping the mark. He didn't want to say anything wrong. He had to say something though, how could he not with Kurt looking so upset?

"It's...its silly. It's really stupid Blaine...it doesn't matter"

"If it matters to you, it matters to me, okay?" Blaine stated "I'm sure it isn't silly"

"It's just..." Kurt sighed and a few more tears rolled down his cheeks "It's my dad."

"W-w-what about him?" Blaine shifted slightly so he was sat next to Kurt now. He was surprised when Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm and slung it around Kurt's shoulders. Blaine pulled Kurt into a hug knowing he didn't have to be cautious anymore. Kurt needed him. Kurt buried his head into Blaine's chest.

"You smell like mint." Kurt whispered "I like mint, it reminds me of you."

"Okay" Blaine laughed a little and he heard Kurt's laugh, soft as chimes.

"My dad" Kurt said again, going back to their previous conversation "just when I asked if you could stay in my room...I knew what he would say. He doesn't like the idea of me having a gay boy in my room. Over Christmas he nearly had a heart attack every time he saw us come down here and he'd give me that look every night that was like 'I'm warning you! don't do anything!'" Kurt went into a perfect imitation of Burt and Blaine resisted the urge to laugh.

"Don't worry about him" Blaine said "He'll adjust. He cares about you"

"What if he never becomes comfortable with it though Blaine? He might not. Just because he loves me and accepts me doesn't mean he likes the idea of me being gay. He might never adjust."

"He will" Blaine said surely "He trusts you to go at your own pace. Fair enough he doesn't like the idea of us having sex when he's around but no parent likes the idea of their child having sex. Well apart from maybe my mum..." Blaine said and Kurt giggled slightly "I know we aren't going to have sex. I mean we aren't together no matter how much I want us to be. I know were friends Kurt and I respect that. He doesn't know that, he probably still thinks because we are both gay we won't be able to control ourselves. I wouldn't worry about it too much. He will adjust. He loves you"

"Your dad loves you too, you know?" Kurt whispered against Blaine's chest.

"I know" Blaine dropped his arms for around Kurt and shifted slightly away from him "I don't want to talk about it."

"Just let me say one thing Blaine. Dead quick. Then I won't talk about him ever again if you don't want me too"

"Okay" Blaine croaked.

"He's a jerk, I'm not denying that. He's a horrible man who's done horrible things and I really can't stand him but he loves you. That's why he's so against the idea of you being gay. He just wants you to be normal. He honestly believes that homosexuality is a disease he can cure. Even though he's hurt you and left you for dead and threatened you and been so...horrible...it doesn't mean he loves you any less."

"I know Kurt. I really do. That's what makes it harder. I know he just wants me to be accepted by society but if he just embraced the fact I'm gay, if he accepted it, I wouldn't give a fuck what anyone else thought. He can't see me for who I am Kurt and that...that kills me. If he could just accept me!"

"I'm sorry Blaine. I shouldn't have said anything..."

"NO. It's fine!" Blaine shook his head "It's nice to be reminded the only reason he hates me so much is because he loves me" Blaine rolled his eyes. "Goodnight Kurt" He said before taking his bag into the bathroom and getting changed.

When Blaine came out of the bathroom the lights were off and Kurt was asleep on the bed. Blaine smiled and stumbled to the air bed. He couldn't sleep and when it got too about midnight all he could think of was Puck all over him. Whispering harsh words at him. Telling him he was a dirty slut...raping him. Puck's face changed to Kyle's and Blaine began to whimper. He must have woken Kurt up.

"Blaine?" Kurt said sleepily "Are you crying?"

"No" Blaine said but his voice cracked and betrayed him.

"You are." Kurt whispered into the darkness "What is it? Why are you so upset tonight?"

Blaine began to sob uncontrollably and Kurt's eyes immediately widened. He stumbled his way over to the air bed and got in besides Blaine wrapping his arms tightly round the distraught boy. "Kurt" Blaine whispered. It was more of a confirmation of his presence than anything else. Blaine's arms snaked around Kurt's waist and he cried into his chest. "I'm pathetic"

"You aren't"

"I am" Blaine hissed "I always let people get their way. Abuse me..."

"Abuse you?"

"Puck." Blaine whispered "He...he...he forced himself on me." Blaine shivered in Kurt's arms and a new flood of tears overwhelmed him.

"He...he did _what_?" Kurt spat out each word as if it was laced with venom.

"He kissed me. It's not that big a deal. I must have led him on or something but he kissed me and I didn't want him too. I tried to push him off but I gave up..."

"Why did you give up?" Kurt asked stunned.

"Because I'm not worth saving. I'm a cheap slut, Kurt. That's all I am" Blaine spoke with such sincerity that Kurt felt physically sick. Blaine seriously didn't feel this way about himself, did he?

"You are worth saving...what happened?"

"I started crying because I'm so weak. He must have noticed because he stopped sharpish. I pinned him against the way and screamed at him. I went a bit overboard really, told him about Kyle, trying to make him feel guilty or something. I don't know..."

"Blaine. He should feel guilty. He should never have done anything like that to you. It's not right. You are amazing, Blaine, you are perfect, okay? He shouldn't have done that to you."

"Okay" Blaine sobbed again "Do you really believe that Kurt?" Blaine whispered softly "Do you believe I'm worth something?"

"I believe you are worth everything" Kurt said passion oozing out of every word. He held Blaine tighter to his chest and let him cry until gradually the sobs began to subside. After a while Blaine gently pulled away from Kurt's embrace and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Kurt? I know we aren't together anymore but..." Blaine breathed in deeply "I-I-I just need someone to kiss me and tell me everything's going to be alright". Another solitary tear ran down Blaine's face and Kurt's heart just about broke there and then. Kurt cupped the bottom of Blaine's chin with his hand and lifted his head up slightly. He lent in impossibly gradually and their lips met softly and gently moving in rhythm with each other. The kiss remained slow and Kurt ran a line upon Blaine's bottom lip with his tongue. Blaine was shocked and hesitantly granted Kurt's tongue entrance into his mouth. Their tongues danced together for a while and they drank in the taste of each other. Kurt slowly withdrew when he was in need of breath he looked into Blaine's eyes and smiled.

"Everything is going to be alright" Kurt said and because Kurt had said it, Blaine believed it was. Kurt leant his head on Blaine's chest and sighed. He didn't know exactly what they were, he didn't know what he wanted them to be, but for now they needed each other. Not as friends that didn't work and not boyfriends because they didn't completely trust each other, but whatever this was, it worked, for now. Kurt was only sure of one thing in his mind as he lay right there: Puck was going to die. Kurt felt warm and safe in Blaine's arms and he fell asleep to the sound of Blaine's gentle breathing. Blaine looked down on his sleeping friend? Boyfriend? Whatever it is they were...and smiled. He loved Kurt, of that he was certain, and he was never going to stop trying until he proved it. Sleep gradually overcame Blaine and for the first time in a long time his dreams were nightmare free.


	25. I love you Kurt

Kurt arrived at school early. Knowing for a fact Blaine never went to school until one minute before the bell went and Puck bummed around school for at least half an hour before hand. Puck liked to beat up the dorks who arrived early (not noticing if arriving early was the only criterion to make you a dork then he indeed was too a dork). He spotted Puck throwing Jacob into a dumpster and his blood began to boil. He'd lip-raped Kurt's boyfriend...FRIEND GOD DAMN IT! Kurt had to stop mentally, instinctively calling Blaine his boyfriend. He was the one who said they should be friends...for now at least.

"PUCK! You son of a-"

"-Woah what did I do?" Puck interrupted.

"You know what you did" Kurt spat on the ground. Normally he would find that kind of behaviour vulgar but Kurt was absolutely fuming and spiting on the floor was intimidating, right?

"He fucking told you?" Puck asked his eyes widening "I thought he'd be too embarrassed or something" Puck started kicking the gravel at his feet. Jacob had climbed out of the dumpster and was watching the whole scene unfold in front of him jotting down every word that was being said.

"Why should he be embarrassed Puck? When _you_ kissed _him_?" Kurt punched Puck in the stomach and Puck fell from the sheer shock of the impact. Puck hated looking weak and Kurt was really getting on his nerves. Who the hell did he think he was? Pushing the Puckasaurus to the ground was not cool man.

"What the hell?" Puck winced as Kurt began to kick him in the side "Dude, stop it!" Puck curled into a protective ball. He let Kurt continue to kick him. It actually kind of hurt. Kurt was his friend though, he liked Kurt and if he hit him back then he'd jeopardise their friendship. Anyway Puck deserved this, Puck knew he deserved this. He just had to let the kid get it out of his system.

"YOU JERK." Kurt screamed "You're an asshole, you know that? Prey on the young innocent defenceless gay kid with a messed up mind. What him to go into therapy is that it? Want him to try and kill himself again?" With every word Puck felt a sharp kick in his side and he was actually kind of scared. He'd never admit that though. Kurt was like twenty pounds or something seriously that kid didn't even eat anything.

"What about killing himself?" Puck muttered.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Kurt asked innocently steeping back slightly as Puck stood up "Blaine has tried to kill himself. Numerous times actually."

"Blaine?" Jacob piped up from behind them "Blaine Anderson? Oh this is a story and a half!" Jacob ran away probably to a school computer to type up his new blog about Blaine 'the-gay-attempted-suicide-kid' Anderson.

"Now you've done it!" Puck hissed. He heard a dull thunk and felt a searing pain in his eye. He fell back words and landed on the pavement with a hiss of pain.

"Fuck" Kurt muttered "This is all your fucking fault you attempted rapist"

"I never attempted to rape anyone, dude."

"He tried to make you stop, and you didn't stop Puck. In my books that is attempted rape"

"I stopped didn't I? It was just a kiss. A kiss is just a kiss Kurt. It's innocent, it did no harm, it-"

"Puck a kiss is _never_ **just a kiss"** Kurt began "It might have been innocent but it did harm, you weren't there afterward, you didn't see the lasting damage, tell me this, if you hadn't have realised he was crying would you have stopped?"

"Kurt" A voice rang behind him. Puck and Kurt turned on the spot to see Blaine standing there with a pained expression.

"How long have you been there?" Kurt asked shocked.

"Long enough to hear you out me to the school reporter" Blaine hissed "Long enough to hear you tell Puck about my trying to commit suicide and how messed up I was yesterday and...**What gave you the right to say all those things?" **

"I was just angry, it was in the heat of the moment..."

"Kurt, it's my life. Mine. I can do whatever the hell I like with it. I wanted to come out on my terms. I was going to do it, you know? But of course you don't trust me do you Kurt? Think I was going to stay in the closet forever is that it? Didn't want to be the only out gay kid so you thought you'd out me? I don't get you Kurt, what exactly do you gain from outing me? It not like you even want to be my boyfriend so what is the point? Tell me Kurt because I sure as hell don't understand anything."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Jacob was there. It was a slip of the tongue honest."

"_You can't trust me_. That's why you won't go out with me right? Because you don't believe me when I tell you that I love you? You don't trust me words?"

"Yes" Kurt whispered a little reluctantly.

"Well Kurt. I love you, okay? I fucking love you! I would do whatever it took to be with you but...I don't trust you."

"You don't trust me" Kurt spat out offended.

"Do I seriously have any reason too? You just told Puck I tried to kill myself. Did you ever think maybe I told you that in confidence? Did you ever think that maybe that was something I wanted to stay in my past?"

"Blaine..."

"Like fuck you did. You just wanted to make Puck feel guilty but it was at my expense Kurt. It's my dirty laundry you're airing, not your own. You had no right to divulge private information like that to the entire school..."

"I only told Puck" Kurt muttered.

"Yes, when the school reporter was listening" Blaine laughed bitterly "You have no right to say things about me behind my back, whether they are true or not, okay? You have _**NO RIGHT**_ to share that information with anyone unless I explicitly state that's okay."

"I-I-I-I'm sorry" Kurt said dumbfounded.

"Yeah, so am I. Sorry I used to trust you. Sorry I wanted to stay in the closet for a little while. Sorry I can't be PERFECT. I'm sorry that I love you and I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you"

"You are good enough for me"

"Keep deluding yourself Kurt. Keep deluding yourself that we are going to happen because we aren't. We were happy and I messed up and I'm always going to regret almost punching your brother. It was the start of a downward spiral for me. It made me relapse and lose everything. You won't ever trust me after that..."

"I will...I do!"

"I love you" Blaine whispered.

"I know" Kurt said slowly "I've always known I just wanted you to prove it"

"Because words aren't enough for you?" Blaine laughed bitterly "Why are you so much better than everybody else?

Why do I have to prove it? So you can get gifts? So you can feel special? You are spoilt Kurt. You're a spoilt little boy who thinks he deserves everything to be handed to him on a silver platter. Actually knowing you it'd have to be a gold platter.

Well Kurt I don't know what to do to prove it to you. All I have is words. I don't understand what you want from me? I'm not going to buy you gifts or anything because that's superficial and pointless. I was going to sing to you but that's so cliché and doesn't really prove anything. So I'm left with the only option which is telling you I love you...but that just isn't good enough."

"Blaine I'm really sorry. I feel so stupid. Can we not just go back to being together and forget all this..."

"That would be easy for you wouldn't it Kurt? I can't forget months of nightmares, of sleeping with my sleazy ex, of skipping lessons and not eating and been kept under arrest by Wes and David. I can't forget months of trying to kill myself, of hurting myself...I can't forget...I can't"

"It's not my fault Blaine" Kurt said "Please don't blame this on me, it's not my fault."

"No it isn't your fault. You could have dumped any other person and they'd have been fine but you dumped me. Stupid me who internalises pain and turn it into this evil monster that haunts my dreams and ensnares my actions. It wasn't your fault Kurt, It was my fault but does it really matter who's to blame? The point is it happened and I can't just automatically be okay"

"Dudes?" Puck said finally willing himself to talk "People are kind of staring and we're gunna be late."

"Whatever" Blaine hissed looking back at Kurt and searching his eyes for any form of emotion or response. After a while the crowd that had gathered around them slowly began to disperse. Puck sat against the dumpster knowing he was next to face Blaine's wrath. The funny thing was he didn't even care. A normal person would be running, afraid of confrontation, but Puck desired it more than anything. He wanted Blaine to shout at him. He craved it. Puck felt so stupid and guilty, he hadn't meant to cause all these problems. He didn't want some stupid mistake to cause him to lose his best friend. This felt like losing Finn all over again.

"Wait..." Kurt said slowly "Wes said something about having to hide sharp things. You just side you 'hurt yourself' but I've seen your body Blaine and you don't have any marks from self harming or anything I don't understand."

Blaine began to look sheepish suddenly and hesitantly lifted up his t-shirt. Puck let out an intake of breath seeing Blaine's scar for the first time. Kurt looked at the scar wide eyes; it was puckered, red and angry. Freshly scabbed.

"Y-y-y-you said Jason did that!" Kurt hissed.

"He did" Blaine stated calmly "I've just continued to do it..."

"What do you mean?"

"I-well-I-I've carved it into myself afterwards. Whenever I've felt sad I've opened the scar again."

"But why?"

"BECAUSE KURT!" Blaine roared "Because I'm a fag, that is all I am and people should be reminded of that fact at every given moment. I'm a fag and I deserve to be branded. I deserve to be in pain and hurt" Blaine had tears streaming down his face. Kurt was about to say something when Puck began to speak.

"You're so haunted" He said slowly "You keep saying you want to forget your past but you hold onto the ghosts. You hold on to the pain, to the scars, to the ex-boyfriend you hold on to it all and that isn't forgetting."

"What do you know Puck? What do you know about me?"

"I know you're upset" Puck whispered "I know you're damaged. I'm sorry for what I did to you Blaine. I honestly didn't know you were so fragile mentally. That isn't a bad thing, you know? Having problems doesn't make you weak. But you are weak, you know why? Because you don't deal with your problems you let them eat you from the inside out like that monster in alien."

"You sounded so intellectual, it was going so well, then you make a mediocre movie reference" Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine began to laugh. The whole atmosphere turned drastically from being so dramatic and tense to being rather jovial and light hearted. No one can be sad forever, it's exhausting. It's funny how in the most theatrical of conversations a spark of humour can change the whole mood.

"Sorry dude" Puck laughed "I am who I am. I'm a stud who makes mediocre movie references. I'm sorry Blaine. I know I must have awakened feelings of hatred and self loathing in you that I honestly didn't intend too. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I shouldn't treat anyone that way and I know that. Hummel has pounded me now. I've learnt my lesson and I'm really sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make it okay Puck" Blaine laughed "Sorry never makes anything okay."

"But we are cool, right?"

"As cool as we are ever going to be" Blaine said "I don't feel like your best friend. I don't feel that close to you. I know you're sorry and holding this against you isn't going to change what happened so I forgive you but I can't just forget it happened."

"You need to learn to stop holding on to the past." Puck said "I understand you not being able to forget about me lip-raping you, fair enough, it's recent and I guess it's traumatising for a rape victim and whatever but still the self harm, the suicide, the sleazy ex...You have to try to let it all go."

"I know...I know it's just easier said than done."

"I love you" Kurt whispered locking his eyes with Blaine.

"I love you too"

Nothing happened for a while. Puck turned and began to make his way towards the school. It was awkward back there with them plus it was already second period they'd been talking for so long.

"I know I'm not an expert on relationships" Kurt said "But isn't now the time when we are supposed to cry and forgive each other, run into each other's arms and hold each other like we are never going to let go?"

"If this was a cheesy seventies rom-com maybe" Blaine sighed "But I don't feel like doing that...in fact I kind of want to strangle you."

"Oh"

"Well do you want to run into my arms?" Blaine asked sceptically.

"No. I want to run and hide somewhere far away were you can never find me. I'm scared Blaine. I thought I was ready for us to just be together but it's a daunting prospect. I love you but the thought of being with you terrifies me."

"Kurt we are going to be together" Blaine said "I know we are. One day soon we are going to say we love each other and it's going to feel right but now...it just isn't the right moment I'm too angry at you. I feel like you've betrayed me. Now I have to walk into that school where everyone knows I'm this manic depressive gay freak and it's your fault. It's your fault they all know, don't try to deny that."

"I won't"

"I love you Kurt, but at this second I really _really __**really**_don't like you"

"I'm sorry" Kurt whispered a stray tear falling down his cheek.

"I know" Blaine turned away and walked towards the school bracing himself for the tough couple of years he had ahead of him. Kurt sank to the ground crying. Why did Blaine have to be so painfully honest with him? Still he had said they would get together. Soon. They just needed a perfect moment. If Kurt had been a religious person he'd have prayed right then for the singular most perfect moment in the world.


	26. I do blame you for outing me

"Kurt, I need a word" Burt growled into the hallway.

"Dad, I'm already running late for school, I must have missed first period by now"

"Well it won't do you any harm missing second then will it" Burt muttered.

"You're supposed to be the concerned parent, telling me to go to school, not miss it"

"Hey kid you and me both know you're top of all your classes" Burt sighed "Look I need to talk to you alone. Finn and Blaine are at school, Carole's gone shopping. I'm missing work for this kiddo, let's just talk okay"

"Urghh" Kurt fell backwards onto the sofa. He didn't know what this was going to be about but he had a feeling whatever it was about he wouldn't like it. Burt could have had this conversation at any time but he chose to do it when everyone was out. Please grilled cheesus don't let it be another sex talk. "What's this about dad?" Kurt rolled his eyes and huffed out a long breathe pretending nonchalance.

"Blaine"

"God dad, I've already told you nothing's going on-"

"I know Kurt" Burt cut his son off harshly "You're both avoiding each other like the plague"

"No we aren't" Kurt laughed nervously. Crap. He didn't think it had been obvious he was avoiding Blaine. Well it wasn't exactly his fault. Blaine was angry at him for outing him to the school. Blaine had begun to experience dumpster dives and being shoved into lockers.

Luckily he was on the football team and he was actually good at football. This offered him some protection at least. McKinley needed him to be able to run and catch so nothing to bad could happen to him. He had a certain level of popularity with Puck and Finn being his best friends. Unfortunately he was still gay. According to most at McKinley that was a punishable offence. Kurt felt guilty because he was responsible for everything that happened to Blaine. If only he'd have kept his cool and kept his mouth shut.

"Yes kiddo, you are. Blaine is really upset about it..."

"_What?_" Kurt almost screamed in confusion.

"You don't talk to each other, you don't eat together, don't watch TV together, don't go to school together...god damn it Kurt you go to bed at about seven o'clock to avoid seeing him" Burt looked about ready to punch something "I asked him about it yesterday when the football was on. He looked just about ready to burst into tears. Said it was your choice when you wanted to talk to him."

"I thought he was mad at me..."

"For goodness sakes" Burt cursed "You're both so fricken oblivious!"

"_Huh?_"

"You both don't see it do you? You don't see how head-over-heels-in-love you are?"

"We aren't in love" Kurt snorted his heart rate quickening and betraying him. Yes he was in love with Blaine. He was certain of this. Blaine knew he was in love with him. Kurt knew Blaine was in love with him. They weren't oblivious to that. They were just absolutely terrified of that. Feeling like your completely dependant on someone else is scary. Kurt felt unbelievably vulnerable and add that to the feeling of guilt Kurt found it hard to be around Blaine.

"Take some advice from someone older and wiser than you kiddo, you love him."

"Shut up" Kurt muttered "I know I do. He knows I do. He loves me. I know that too. It's more complicated than that..."

"No it isn't Kurt"

"Stop pretending you know everything okay? You don't know how I feel. You don't know what is going on between me and Blaine." Kurt was bright red and he was babbling nonsense.

"Kurt..." Burt began but he was interrupted by the front door flinging open. They turned around and saw Blaine on the floor sobbing looking incredibly depressed.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered "What the hell?"

"I-I-I-I thought you'd be out." Blaine sobbed "Didn't think anyone would be in...I don't want you to see me like this I..."

"Blaine" Kurt said harshly "Don't be an idiot. I'm not gunna think anything less of you just because you are crying. I've seen you cry lodes of times now what the hell is the matter?" Kurt walked over to where Blaine was shivering on the floor and held his hand out. Blaine took it and shakily stood up.

"I'm disgusting" He sighed. Kurt was about to protest when he saw what Blaine meant. He was covered in slushie. His first slushie attack. Kurt's heart just about broke. He wrapped his arms tentatively around Blaine's sobbing figure.

"Slushie's suck" Kurt laughed "You've had a good run"

"What do you mean?"

"Sam got slushied like...a second after he joined glee club. You've lasted ages in comparison"

"Oh" Blaine sighed "I-I-I- I thought it was because I'm g-g-ga-gay"

"It probably was" Kurt sighed honestly "They coped with the whole glee club thing because you were actually a good football player, but a gay glee club member...someone like that deserves to be punished" Kurt muttered angrily but Blaine began to laugh at how stupid it all sounded.

"I ran away." He muttered "I fucking ran again"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that Blaine Anderson" Burt said in a parental tone and Kurt tried to hold back a laugh. "I'm going back to work. Make sure you both go back to school after you're all cleaned up"

"Okay dad" Kurt sighed. The boys watched as Burt left then Blaine all but jumped into Kurt's arms.

"You didn't run away forever Blaine" Kurt said gently "You just aren't prepared for slushie attacks and had to come get cleaned up. Next time you'll be prepared."

"What do you mean prepared."

"I have four changes of clothes in my locker, and shampoo and lots of soap...just in case"

"God" Blaine muttered "So why is it so fucking hard to just be myself? Why does everyone feel the need to put me down? Hurt me and discriminate against me? I just don't understand..."

"Neither do I." Kurt sighed "Now come on. I'll run you a bath"

Kurt began placing in a concoction of expensive bubble baths and bath salts. He smiled at the smell of the bath. He placed his hand in to make sure in was piping hot and nodded to himself. "Blaine" He called "It's ready"

"Why is it so hot?" Blaine grumbled putting his hand in.

"To get the coloring off of your skin. It's not easy. You'll need to scrub really hard with lots of soap." Kurt instructed and Blaine smiled.

"Well...thanks Kurt..."

"What for?" Kurt shrugged.

"For making me feel better." Blaine smiled shyly "I know you didn't really do anything huge but...I appreciate it all the same. You know that hug was the first time you've touched me in two weeks?"

"About that..."

"It doesn't matter Kurt" Blaine shook his head laughing "Don't make this conversation really heavy and depressing...I can't cope with it..."

"Why are all our conversations so...dramatic?"

"Because we are both drama queens" Blaine stated matter of factly "But once in a while it would be nice to just chat you know"

"Yeah" A coy smile crossed Blaine's face. "Well if you don't mind..." Blaine's cheeks colored and he gestured towards to bath.

"Oh yeah sorry..." Kurt began to leave.

"KURT!" Blaine called "I don't want you to leave. I just don't want you to watch me getting undressed."

"Oh..." Kurt giggled slightly and faced the wall. After a few seconds Blaine had stripped off and the bubbles were protecting his modesty.

"Okay" Blaine said "You can turn around now."

Kurt turned and smiled at Blaine he sat on the floor next to the bath looking into Blaine's eyes. "This is weird"

"But it isn't awkward which is a first for us" Blaine agreed.

"YAY" Kurt said clapping causing Blaine to chuckle in a way that was so sexy it made Kurt blush.

"Well I need to talk to you and seen as you aren't avoiding me..."

"I'm sorry about that" Kurt whispered "I was just scared that you'd blame me for outing you"

"I do blame you for outing me" Blaine sighed.

"OH" Kurt whispered.

"Thank you for that by the way" Blaine smiled at Kurt who stared back at him an adorable look of confusion crossing his face "I would have never come out. We both know that. I was quite content in the closet. Yet I wasn't been honest with myself. So thank you because all you did is tell the truth. Something I haven't been brave enough to do."

"oh"

"And that is what I've wanted to tell you for two weeks but every time I tried to approach the subject you had to clean or sleep or something..."

"Sorry"

"God stop apologising" Blaine whispered "We can't ever just have a nice fluffy conversation can we? It always has to get...complicated"

"Sorry..." Kurt said "I mean sorry for apologising I mean...sorry"

"Kurt" Blaine snorted amused. "Calm down okay. I'm not going to judge you or anything so stop acting all scared around me. Just be you"

"I am being me...I'm scared"

"About what?"

"About loving you" Kurt said so quietly Blaine almost didn't hear it.

"I'm scared about loving you too" Blaine smiled light-heartedly "But I'm also really excited."

"Me too" Kurt grinned "And happy and sad and confident and nervous and...I'm just a jumble of emotions it's so confusing"

"I read somewhere that love is the biggest oxymoron in the world" Blaine whispered "And I never knew what that meant until I met you." Blaine placed his hand over the side of the bath and grabbed Kurt's hand.

"Eww" Kurt moaned.

"It's only water Kurt" Blaine chuckled "It's clean."

"I know" Kurt giggled "But it's still wet and gross"

"Well I won't hold your hand if you don't want me too..." Blaine said jokingly beginning to take his hand away.

"NO" Kurt all but screamed "No I want to hold your hand" Kurt smiled "I...I...I...I want to be you're...your..._boyfriend_" Kurt said slowly his voice cracking nervously.

"I want to be your boyfriend too Kurt" Blaine looked away from Kurt's eyes a smile playing on his lips "More than anything"

"Then why don't we just do it?" Kurt asked "Why don't we just say it once and for all?"

"Because neither one of us feels confident enough to ask the other."

"I'd ask" Kurt breathed "If I knew you'd say yes"

"Kurt" Blaine laughed "Of course I'll say yes. I promise you. I promise you if you ask I'll say yes" Blaine's breath hitched he almost couldn't believe this was happening.

"Blaine Anderson?" Kurt spoke tension filling his voice.

"Yes, Kurt Hummel" Blaine said brightly trying to make Kurt relax.

"Will you..._perhaps...__**maybe**_...be my boyfriend?" Kurt felt so embarrassed and scared. He knew Blaine would say yes so he felt ridiculous for the amount he was blushing and shacking.

"Yes Kurt" Blaine had the hugest smile on his face. He couldn't believe Kurt had actually said it. He thought Kurt would chicken out at the last moment. He always underestimated how brave Kurt was. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend! That's all that I wanted since the second I saw you. To be with you all the time. You are just so...perfect."

"Compared to you I'm nothing" Kurt whispered "I don't deserve you. You're the most amazing person in the world"

"No Kurt" Blaine laughed "I'm a manic depressive loser. I'm the only who doesn't deserve you. You're the kindest, sweetest, loveliest..._sexiest_ man in the world." Blaine breathed huskily "And now I want to kiss you but your too far away" He blinked a few times and laughed. Kurt stood up and hovered over the bath side.

"You're sure?" Kurt said "You're sure you want to be my boyfriend?"

"Why would I not want to be your boyfriend Kurt?" Blaine sighed "You're the most amazing man I've ever met"

Kurt gasped before letting a small smile cross his face. One day, Kurt thought, if he keeps saying stuff like that, one day I might actually believe it. Kurt leant forwards slowly and let his lips touch Blaine's softly. It felt like fireworks were zapping him. Such a cliché. It was nice...Kurt had never been able to experience normal and cliché before. Kurt pulled away slowly and grinned sheepishly at Blaine.

"Finally" Kurt sighed.

"Yep" Blaine agreed blushing "Finally"

"I love you" Kurt breathed.

"I-I-I love you too" Blaine gasped "_**Kiss me again**_"

Kurt giggled as he leant towards Blaine once more and their lips met in a fiery passionate kiss. Tongues soared together in unison and their breath got ragged. Blaine grasped at the bottom of Kurt's T-shirt and dragged it harshly over his head. "You're wearing too many clothes" Blaine gasped "We need to even the playing field"

"We should be getting back to school though" Kurt squeaked.

"Kurt, please, just get in..." Blaine gestured the other side of the bath "Please?"

"Okay" Kurt giggled again and it was like music to Blaine's ears. Blaine was pretty sure Kurt's laughter was his favourite sound in the world. "Look away"

"What?" Blaine said.

"Just cos we are going out doesn't mean you get to look at my junk" Kurt rolled his eyes "At least not until I want you too" Kurt winked and Blaine's breath hitched. He smiled slowly before turning his head away. Kurt stripped and stepped into the other side of the bath sitting down. Their hands intertwined and Kurt noted how much his cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Just one more question..." Kurt said.

"What?"

"How come I get the tap end?" He asked pouting. Blaine grinned and flicked bubbles in Kurt's face.

"Just because!"


	27. I have bladder control

Blaine was sprawled across the sofa watching some kind of gory movie. He was only wearing his boxers and his dressing gown which was very loosely tied. Kurt was sat next to him finding he couldn't concentrate fully on the film because his eyes kept drifting to Blaine's chest. Blaine usually dressed like that around the house but Kurt had usually been able to block it out because he knew nothing could ever happen between them. Now something could happen. Now Kurt could just lean over and kiss Blaine whenever he wanted to.

Still, Blaine was watching monster gore or whatever this lame film was. It was in black and white and the visual effects were shocking yet Blaine was fixated upon it. Boy, Kurt was going to have to educate him in more cultured films.

"Will you stop staring at me?" Blaine grumbled.

"Why?" Kurt asked bluntly not even bothering to deny it. They were together now, he was allowed to stare at Blaine if he wanted too.

"Because it's distracting, I can't concentrate on the movie" Blaine laughed.

"That was my intention" Kurt blushed looking down on his sweat pants.

Yes he was wearing sweat pants.

He never usually did unless it was dark and no one was in. After his bath with Blaine he somehow felt a lot less self conscious around him (even if they hadn't really seen any part of each others bodies apart from their chests) and he felt so relaxed and loved up he wanted to lounge comfortably on the sofa with his boyfriend. His boyfriend. He was allowed to call him that now and it wasn't wrong. It was fact. Kurt had butterflies in his stomach he was so excited about having his first real boyfriend. Yes they had been out before but Blaine was technically still his first boyfriend. He was the same person. This time everything was going to be perfect.

"Was it now" Blaine wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Kurt snorted.

"You are so bad at the whole trying-to-be-sexy-thing" Kurt rolled his eyes but then he noted Blaine's pout "I mean because you don't even have to try, dummy, when you try to be sexy you just look like a total dork, when your just being you I pretty much want to eat your face off all the time"

"Oh" Blaine blushed "Oh, that's good I guess. Well I always want to eat your face so maybe we should...?" Blaine jumped on top of Kurt who was giggling and started to chuckle deeply. Their eyes locked and suddenly both boys went deadly silent.

Blaine's eyes strayed downwards towards Kurt's lips and he felt Kurt's breathing hitch beneath him. Blaine analysed the face of the boy he was completely crazy about and sighed.

"You're really beautiful" He whispered huskily "You know that?"

"Errrm" Kurt flushed and Blaine began to giggle.

"You are. You're like the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. Your face is so perfect...how the hell did I manage to get you?"

Before Blaine knew what was happening Kurt had grasped the back off his neck and whisked him forwards into a fiery kiss. He felt Kurt's legs wrap around his middle and the only thought left in his head was how sexy this whole moment was.

"So yeah" Finn was saying "Basically I'm the expert at COD and no one can beat me..."

Blaine jumped off Kurt and scooted quickly to the other side of the sofa, he tried to focus his attention back on the film but all he could really think was how hot Kurt was. How hot that had been. Damn Finn.

"Oh" Finn said seeing Kurt and Blaine watching the film. "I thought you guys had gone somewhere and that's why you weren't at school"

"Hi" Sam said from behind Finn "I'm just borrowing COD off of Finn. He said it was wicked."

"Damn it's awesome" Blaine enthused "You'll love it. It's cool"

"Cool" Sam mumbled he took the video game Finn handed him and sloped out of the house with a little wave.

Sam was nice but he didn't say much. He was also a bit of a nerd. A nerd who happened to be good at football. He was a popular nerd. It was like he didn't fit in with the jocks or the geeks and he looked a little out of place and uncomfortable sometimes.

"So what are we doing then?" Finn asked eagerly after Sam had shut the door.

"We?" Kurt asked sarcastically raising an eyebrow. Blaine loved that. Sarcastic bitchy Kurt was one hell of a challenge for anyone. He was blunt and honest and witty and Blaine adored that.

"Well yeah" Finn mumbled "I thought you were watching a movie. I wanted to see that. It's the one where that women turns into a psychopath and kills her neighbours right?"

"Yeah I think so" Blaine said remembering why he'd wanted to watch the film in the first place "Apparently it is one of the goriest, scariest films produced in the last 50 years"

"Wicked" Finn breathed. Kurt looked between his boyfriend and his brother's face.

"You can watch the damn film if you want to" He muttered grumpily.

"YES!" Finn jumped up and down before running into the kitchen asking if anyone wanted a drink.

"Why are we always interrupted?" Blaine almost growled claiming Kurt's lips once more.

"Don't act like you don't want to watch the movie" Kurt spoke against Blaine's lips before returning the kiss with just as much heat, passion and urgency and Blaine had instigated it with. They broke apart and Blaine had a small grin on his face.

"I do really want to watch the movie" He sighed "But kissing you is far more fun."

"Mmmm really?" Kurt said sceptically.

"Yes really" Blaine laughed lunging on Kurt once more. This time Kurt slowed the kiss down. His tongue infiltrated Blaine's mouth and began to stroke Blaine's own tongue. Blaine moaned and Kurt smirked into the kiss letting his tongue explore more of Blaine's mouth.

"DUDE!" Finn screamed from the door. Kurt pushed Blaine away flushing. He'd forgotten Finn had only gone to get a drink. Stupid teenage hormones distracting him from the real world.

"Errm" Kurt tried to think of anything vaguely witty to articulate but for the first time in his life he had nothing. Blaine looked quite embarrassed. Kurt knew that Blaine liked intimacy and privacy rather than making out in front of the whole world. Kurt felt like that too. They were both gay and proud but that didn't mean they had to snog each other's faces off for everyone to see.

Their relationship was exactly that, theirs, no one else's.

Finn seeing that was really embarrassing to both of them. Yet it was entirely their own fault for not been able to control themselves.

"Sorry Finn" Blaine said quietly "I know you aren't totally comfortable with errm..."

"Man-on-man action" Kurt said bluntly. Blaine couldn't control his laughter but Finn looked utterly petrified.

"No it's cool" Finn said "I-I-I-I'll go upstairs"

"What about the movie?" Kurt asked.

"It can wait, I've heard its rubbish anyway"

"Seriously?" Kurt said frowning "Blaine has been talking about how good it is for ages... I'm not going to make out with him again Finn. God, I know you don't like the idea of us kissing, but I really don't like the idea of us kissing in front of you and I'm sure Blaine agrees."

"Yes" Blaine said "We'll I don't mind the kissing bit. Making out in front of other people is kind of common and gross though."

"I could not agree more" Kurt smiled "Anyway, I have an essay to do so I'll just type it up whilst you two watch this, okay?"

"Mmm-hmm" Finn all but squeaked.

Kurt grabbed the laptop and was about to sit back down on the sofa when Blaine dragged him onto his lap instead. Kurt was about to protest until he felt Blaine's arms snake round his waist. Blaine rested his chin in the crook of Kurt's neck and held the younger boy close to him. Kurt sighed and relished in the proximity. Normally people didn't like to touch him. He was too much of a man for the girls to hug him and too much of a gay for the guys too.

Kurt lazily stroked the keys of the laptop keeping half an eye on the movie. It was better than he had expected it to be. The essay was far too easy. McKinley High School was a walk in the park for someone with his IQ. Kurt could feel Blaine's breathing on the back of his neck. Warm against his skin.

About ten minutes later Kurt huffed slightly and closed the laptop. He was getting nowhere with his essay because he could feel the steady breathing behind him on his neck and the movie was too loud. Blaine kept jumping and Kurt couldn't type when he was moving about so bad. "Is the movie scary or something?" He asked as he set the laptop on the coffee table.

"No I just nearly wet my pants because I'm incontinent" Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Eww" Kurt laughed.

"I am joking"

"Sure"

"I am!"

"And I believe you" Kurt said patronisingly.

"I have bladder control"

"SHHH" Finn hissed. Frightening music began to blast out from the TV screen and women turned towards the camera. She was limping and covered in blood that wasn't her own. She swung the axe at the screen and Kurt nearly screamed. It wasn't scary. It was just unexpected. The sort of film that had you nervous and slightly frightened but whenever anything really happened it was a huge anti-climax.

"Are you okay?" Blaine whispered kissing his neck.

"Yeah" Kurt said back. One of the corpses jumped up from the screen and grabbed a wooden stake. The rotting thing through the stake right through the women's head and blood splayed everywhere before the corpse burst into dust. A little girl was stood staring at the screen where the corpse had been she winked and began to whistle a familiar tune Kurt had heard throughout the movie before skipping away. The titles ran.

"That was creepy" Finn breathed.

"Rubbish ending though!" Blaine moaned.

"Creepy ending though"

"Who was the girl?" Kurt asked confused.

"The child she gave up for adoption when she was younger. The girl drowned when she was seven which is why she was all waterlogged. It was her who drove her mother insane and made her kill the neighbours. She animated the corpses and made them hurt her."Blaine reeled off.

"Oh" Kurt said uninterested "Sounds rubbish, glad I wasn't paying attention."

"It was so clever though Kurt!" Blaine sighed "I'm going to be psychologically scared for weeks."

"I didn't understand" Finn shrugged.

Blaine and Kurt began to laugh. Kurt looked at Blaine and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"What was that for?" Blaine asked.

"Being adorable" Kurt stated.

The boys looked at each other smiling for a while but Finn was the first to break the silence.

"So how long have you two been together then?"

"A few hours" Kurt muttered.

"Oh" Finn frowned "You're moving a bit fast aren't you, eating face on the sofa, been all lovey dovey?"

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other again. Was this too fast.

"I mean" Finn said "Normally when you've been going out a few hours you'll be stealing glances at each other in the hallway. Holding hands. Planning dates. Not sucking face."

"I guess so" Blaine said.

"Yeah" Kurt agreed.


	28. That was amazing

"THAT." Blaine kissed Kurt harshly on the lips "WAS." Another kiss. "AMAZING."

Kurt and Blaine were laid intertwined in Kurt's double bed. Their breathing was harsh and their bodies hot and sweaty against each other. Kurt giggled "It was wasn't it?"

"Definitely!" Blaine nodded over enthusiastically "And how do you feel?"

"Sexually active" Kurt said sarcastically causing Blaine to chuckle gruffly and roll his eyes.

"I know that much Kurt" Blaine winked "I mean, does it feel right? You don't regret it? It wasn't too fast? After what Finn said about only going out a day and then we come downstairs and do...well...that...it wasn't-"

Kurt cut off Blaine's rambling by attacking his lips fiercely. Their teeth clashed painfully against each other but they didn't care as their tongues were far too busy delving deep into each other's mouths.

"It was perfect. It felt perfect." Kurt smiled softly at Blaine and soon a blush swept his cheeks "Honestly, I never thought it would feel that good."

"And it didn't...hurt? You aren't in pain?"

"No, well a bit, at first but it got better. It got much better. I'm a bit sore but it's not too bad and it was definitely worth it"

"It was?" Blaine let a lopsided grin cross his face.

"For someone so confident, in fact at times even quite vain, you have real self-esteem problems"

"Sorry" Blaine laughed "I've always been like that"

"And it wasn't too fast either.

I know what Finn said about it only been a day but it isn't really, is it?

I mean we got to know each other during our heart wrenchingly painful time apart. We don't need to date like other couples do; we already know about each other, we are already madly in love. Plus if I had to sleep in this room one more night knowing you were in that air bed, a foot away, and not with me, it would drive me _insane_"

"Good to know" Blaine whispered "Because I've felt the same every night. Knowing you were right there and I couldn't just wrap my arms around you" Blaine scooted closer too Kurt and held him close.

"We should probably put some clothes on before my dad gets home from work."

"Where's Carole?"

"All day girl's shopping trip"

After the movie they'd watched earlier Finn had got a text of Sam asking for help with COD. Apparently it wasn't that easy. Blaine and Finn had rolled their eyes and muttered something about it "coming naturally" to them. Kurt had snorted and called them both boys.

After that things began to get slightly hot and heavy on the couch. Blaine had of course been gentlemanly and tried to slow things down but that had just pissed Kurt off.

Kurt practically dragged Blaine to his room and growled roughly "We're doing this Blaine!"

"B-b-b-but F-F-F-Finn said" Blaine stuttered. He actually looked quite scared so Kurt loosened his grip on him slightly.

"Who cares about Finn?" Kurt breathed "I'm ready Blaine. I love you. I want to have sex with you. If I didn't I wouldn't be asking. Blaine, please will you have sex with me?"

"I-I-I-" Blaine took in a shaky breath and then laughed slightly "Of course I will..."

Their lips had met each other again softly and Kurt had dragged Blaine over to the bed. Blaine pulled back slightly. "We need to slow down Kurt" He said "Just for a second. We need to talk about the dynamics of this."

"Dynamics?" Kurt said and blinked innocently.

Blaine flushed bright red. His innocent, perfect, virginal boyfriend wanted to have sex. Which was fine. It was more than fine. It was bloody fantastic.

Kurt was clueless.

So clueless.

And now Blaine had to instigate the most awkward conversation he could possibly ever have with anyone ever. It didn't help that Kurt was uncomfortable talking about sex. How much exactly did Kurt know about gay sex?

"Kurt?" Blaine sighed "How much...do you know...exactly...about...sex?"

"Just the basics" Kurt went bright red.

"What about gay sex?"

"Pretty much..." Kurt sighed and shoved his head in his hands "Nothing I don't know anything. I kept thinking I should watch porn or something. I know I'm a boy and it's natural but I couldn't do it. It was just really gross..." Kurt shivered and looked at Blaine his eyes slightly misted with tears.

"Hey!" Blaine said soothingly "Don't get upset. It isn't a problem; it just means we have to talk about it first. Discuss the options and do what you'll feel most comfortable with."

"Thank you" Kurt whispered huskily. His cheeks were flushed but he didn't seem too uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. Plus Kurt wanted to do this. Blaine wanted to do this. For anything to happen the conversation had to continue.

"Right so gay sex..." Blaine said uncomfortably "I'm not exactly what you'd call an expert but I know enough. One person goes on the bottom..."

"I know that much" Kurt quipped sarcastically and Blaine groaned internally.

"And as far as I know that's the easiest side of things. I mean it's the only side I've ever experienced so... You just sort of lie there and take it. It's not too bad, it hurts but it's okay and soon it stops hurting and becomes nice. Like _really_ nice."

"Yeah" Kurt's voice was so croaky his throat must have dried up completely.

"Yeah. The top is like a little more complicated because your the one doing the thrusting and...stuff. I've never done that before but I'm pretty sure I know enouth to know how to do it. It depends what you want to do. I'm not bothered either way"

"I don't know" Kurt protested bright red "I hadn't thought about any of this"

"Maybe we should leave it..."

"NO!" Kurt screamed "The bottom, I'll go on the bottom"

"Okay" Blaine sighed. He just wanted Kurt to feel comfortable and he knew Kurt would want to go on the bottom. At least for the first time since you don't really have to do anything or know anything on the bottom. Still Blaine had never been on top before and the prospect of it was more daunting then he expected. "Have you..." Blaine made a motion like cutting with scissors and Kurt frowned.

"What?" Kurt asked.

God this was getting more and more awkward by the second. Blaine had to explicitly ask his boyfriend if he'd ever put his fingers inside himself. That was an embarrassing question to ask anyone. How would he even approach the question?

Blaine decided a few more mimes would word better and gestured towards down there before making the gesture again. After a few seconds kurt's eyes widened. He was completly scarlet now but he nodded.

"A bit" He sighed "Yeah, I heard you had to do that so it wouldn't hurt as much"

"Yeah" Blaine coughed "I'm glad because I didn't want to really hurt you. How many fingers"

This statement was far too blunt for Kurt and he burst out into a fit of coughing "Blaine?" He managed to gasp.

"What? I need too know. It makes it easier if I know how much you can handle."

"Three" Kurt hissed "But I haven't done it much and I'm probably still pretty tight so take it easy."

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Blaine asked.

"God Blaine, yes I'm positive" Kurt huffed "I wouldn't endure that conversation if I didn't think I'd get anything out of it"

"Sorry for the awkwardness" Blaine bit his lip.

"No you're the perfect gentleman Blaine"Kurt smiled "If I'd have had too have that conversation with anyone else I'm pretty sure I'd have ran away scared"

"So..."

"So what?" Kurt's brow creased.

"So shall we do this?" Blaine felt Kurt's lips against his neck and moaned.

This was really going to happen.

It had been blissful. Perfect. Amazing. It had been everything Kurt had dreamed of and more. He never in his wildest dreams imagined it to be that good. After Finn saying that your first time was "just a fumble" Kurt had expected it to be twice as embarrassing, twice as complicated, twice as awkward and generally uncomfortable. Blaine was amazing. Taking things at Kurt's pace. Diffusing the tension. Being a proper gentleman. Kurt was completely blitzed out in love. "THAT." He heard Blaine scream before their lips slamed together "WAS" their lips met intensely again "AMAZING"

That was all Kurt needed to know for the confirmation that had been the most beautiful moment in his life.


	29. Authors Note Please read, need help

**Holla faithful readers. You all liking the story so far?**

**I'm a bit confused of where to go from this point at present so I thought I'd give you guys another choice since you were SO helpful last time :D**

**Option 1: Burt comes home from work and he can just tell from the way Kurt and Blaine are acting that they've 'done the deed' and general awkwardness follows.**

**Option 2: Finn gets home and walks in on them showering –more general awkwardness.**

**Option 3: Blaine's dad turns up with some news for Blaine (this is a definite plot development so I'm not giving too much info on it I just don't know when to introduce it)**

**Option 4: The glee club find out about our little couple and some of them are really happy...others...not so keen.**

**So there are your choices. Reviews are love and I'd really appreciate your opinions. Xx**


	30. Shower Head

**Judging by the reviews all the options had a pretty much equal amount of love. I thought I'd try combining them all as one reviewer (Bombshell9) suggested. The way she suggested made perfect sense (I've changed it slightly so it makes two chapters). This chapter will contain two of the options and the next chapter will contain the left over two options. Hope you enjoy.**

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him out of bed "The shower in my on suite is bust. We'll have to go upstairs" They grabbed some clothes and walked out of the room still naked.

"Bust?"

"I might have dropped the shower head. It all smashed." Kurt said sheepishly.

"Why were you holding it in the first place?"

"Stop with the questions!" Kurt practically pushed Blaine towards the bathroom. "We have to go use the shower upstairs to get cleaned up before anyone gets home, okay?"

"Fine" Blaine chuckled. Flustered Kurt was adorable. "I don't like it when you're all business. Today has been perfect, let's have a nice shower. Not a quick 'shit my dad's gunna be home soon' one"

"We may have to combine the two" Kurt giggled shoving Blaine into the shared bathroom. Well 'shared' meant it was for the family but Kurt had an on suite and so did Burt and Carole, this was essentially Finn's bathroom. For that very reason it was covered in his underwear and stray pieces of clothing. There was mould on the tiles and...Wait a minute...there was _**food **_on the windowsill. _**Food.**_ Kurt shivered "He is a pig"

"I can tell" Blaine looked just as disgusted. He felt Kurt's arms snake around his waist.

"Come on. Let's just get a shower. We have like ten minutes till my dad's home" Kurt kissed Blaine's neck and Blaine sighed contentedly.

"Shouldn't we lock the door?"

"It doesn't have one." Kurt said.

"The bathroom door, doesn't have a lock?"

"No. It doesn't need one. No one ever uses it apart from Finn"

"But what if someone walks in" Blaine looked at Kurt scared and Kurt couldn't help but giggle.

"Firstly your body is exquisite; no need to worry about people seeing it, secondly, no one is going to walk in. You'll be able to hear the shower running, who'd be stupid enough to walk in?"

Kurt and Blaine got into the shower after Kurt's protest that they had to hurry up. He water felt nice and warm against their skin. All Blaine could think about was how there was this gorgeous, naked boy next to him. He was allowed to touch Kurt. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Still, they were in a rush, and they'd already had sex today, and taken a bath together much earlier, Blaine didn't want Kurt to think he was a randy teenager obsessed with sex. Which of course he was. What teenager isn't?

Instead Blaine grabbed the soap off the side of the shower and began lathering it up in his hands. He placed the soap back down and ran his hands along Kurt's chest. Their lips met again as Blaine continued to rub the soap into Kurt's chest.

"FUCKING HELL!" they heard Finn scream behind them "Gay guy's in my bathroom. My bathroom. Gay guys in it. Rubbing each other up. This is my happy place, no, no..." Finn was muttering away to himself obviously distressed.

"Once again" Blaine laughed looking at Kurt "Why are we always interrupted?"

"Never mind that!" Finn growled "Why is it always me who interrupts you?"

"Because you're too stupid to knock." Kurt said bluntly. He got out of the shower and rapped a towel around his middle. He hadn't washed quite as well as he wanted to but the water must have done something at least. Blaine followed suit. They grabbed their clothes off the floor leaving Finn in the bathroom muttering 'It's my bathroom, my happy place, it's my bathroom...'

"Why is the bathroom his happy place?" Blaine asked later on in the kitchen as they were making dinner. Burt was expected home at any second and Kurt always cooked when Carole wasn't in.

"I honestly do not know" Kurt rolled his eyes "And I do not want to know"

"About earlier..." Finn walked into the kitchen he looked flushed and he was scratching the back of his neck.

"Sorry about that" Blaine squeaked but Kurt rolled his eyes. Kurt's reaction was so calm. Blaine had a feeling that was just because it was Finn. If it had been Burt, this whole thing would have played out a little bit differently.

"No, no...I should have knocked. I just didn't expect you guys to be at it in my bathroom. I didn't expect you guys to be at it at all. You've been going out a day..." Finn drifted off "Whatever...yeah...I'm going to go into the lounge now"

"Okay" Kurt laughed and Blaine gave Kurt a fierce look.

"He's obviously embarrassed." Blaine hissed "Don't be so fucking mean"

"Sorry"

"It's fine" Blaine smiled lopsidedly before walking over to Kurt and kissing him passionately. The front door opened but both boys were too occupied to notice. Burt made his way into the kitchen and the first thing that met his eyes was Kurt and Blaine kissing. Well more like eating each other's faces. But kissing all the same. Burt smiled and waited for them to break apart before coughing. Blaine turned around far too quickly. He looked slightly afraid but then he slowly became calmer. Kurt looked like he was on fire he was that red. He looked terrified. Burt didn't think he was that intimidating.

"What the hell?" He said "I leave you too here barely talking to one another and I come back to this."

"Sorry" Blaine whispered his eyes on the floor.

"Oh I don't mind. You know I like you Blaine" Burt noted the boy grin and he chuckled slightly. "What I want to know, is why is Finn in there looking like he's about to puke. I would hazard a guess that it's from the homosexual acts going on in the kitchen. He's seen you guys kissing before though and he can cope with it, so what happened?"

"Walked in on them, I-I-I walked in on them" Finn muttered quietly from the lounge. Burt noticed Blaine look actually scared for the first time and Kurt had gone even redder if that was possible. They were both wet. Burt noted suddenly. Fair enough Kurt was going to help Blaine clean up after the slushie facial this morning but that was ages ago, they should have been dry by now. Plus Burt did not want to imagine his own son, in a bath with another boy. Just because he was cool with it, didn't mean he liked to picture it in his head.

Burt worked out that they must have washed earlier and dried, then had another shower later. If that was the case then why would they need another shower if they'd already cleaned earlier? Burt wanted to fabricate a story about them baking or something and getting covered in cake mix. There was no cake. He wasn't that naive. "You had sex" He muttered and Kurt began having a coughing fit "And Finn walked in"

"No, Burt" Blaine said. He looked perfectly composed now "Well I mean your half right"

"Which half?" Burt asked really not wanting to hear the answer.

"The first half" Blaine stated matter of factly. Kurt flashed him a look that Blaine was sure meant he was going to get killed. Still Burt worked it out. What was he supposed to do? Pretend that nothing happened "Finn did walk in on us but not like that. He walked in on us in the shower"

"Why the hell was he in your room?"

"Well we were in his bathroom. Kurt's showers bust, the shower head is all cracked"

"How did that happen?" Burt asked his son who was slowly turning into a tomato.

"I dropped it" He managed to squawk out.

"Why did you have it in your hand?"Burt shook his head.

"_DOES IT MATTER I JUST DROPED IT!_" Kurt raged. Now Blaine was defiantly interested in why Kurt was using the shower head.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked looking at him so confused Kurt sighed.

"**I was freakin' masturbating, all right?** If you use the showerhead and aim it at yourself if feels better. I got a bit too...carried away and I dropped it, okay?"

Blaine began to laugh and Kurt was too pissed off to be embarrassed. Burt on the other hand looked like he was about to explode.

"Breathe dad!" Kurt warned and Burt suddenly took in a huge puff of air.

"I really, really, really didn't need to know that?"

"You asked" Kurt shrugged "You both did. Anyway, I am a teenager with hormones. I have had to copy with Blaine been in my room for weeks now without been able to do anything. I think I'm allowed to masturbate in the shower. I'm sorry I dropped the shower head, okay?"

"Okay" Burt chocked and Blaine was still having a laughing fit. It was getting to the extent of been painful, he couldn't breathe but he couldn't stop laughing.

"You act like you've never done it before" Kurt laughed and Blaine blushed for the first time that evening "Oh don't tell me you've never masturbated?"

"Well of course I have" Blaine grunted "Can we change the subject"

"Why?"

"I think some things should be kept private"

"I thought you were fine with talking about sex Mr My-Mother-Is-A-Sex-Therapist."

"I am, it's just, I don't know, drop it Kurt..."

"Okay"

"Yes please do" Burt choked.

"Oh, I forgot you were there!"

"Evidently." Burt hissed "Now I'll finish making dinner, you two apologise too Finn, and stop talking about masturbating before I have a heart attack"

"Aye aye captain" Kurt saluted. Blaine laughed even more "What?"

"Captain, kind of kinky, don't you think?"

"No Blaine, **NO**"


	31. Vote

"I can't believe you told your dad you were masturbating. I mean I know everyone does it and I know it isn't that big a deal...but you told your dad" Blaine scoffed. Kurt and Blaine were walking to school for an early morning glee practise before class.

"Well what was I supposed to do? He wasn't going to drop it!" Kurt rolled his eyes in a way that Blaine found utterly adorable. Blaine sighed slightly and smiled a goofy grin.

"You are adorable"

"Blaine, you need to revaluate the world if you find me adorable. I mean there are thousands of adorable little bunnies and puppies and kitty-cats and stuff that I don't even come close to on the adorable scale"

"You beat them all" Blaine smiled adamantly "You look like a cute little wood nymph. You gorgeous"

"A wood nymph?" Kurt scowled.

"Yeah. What's wrong with wood nymphs?"

"Apart from that fact that is the geekyist thing I've ever heard, I'm a human Blaine."

"But been compared to bunnies you can handle?"

"Bunnies are cute"

"Okay then. You're cuter than a bunny, I promise you that"

"Can you stop with all the cutesy stuff? It's lovely but you are seriously inflating my ego. Soon I'm going to be more narcissistic than Rachel and we really can't have that" Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine pecked him quickly on the lips as they were rounding into the playground. Kurt jumped away as if he'd gotten an electric shock. "You're lucky it's too early for anyone to be here"

"Why? Am I not allowed to kiss my boyfriend?"

"Not here. Not at school, Blaine. Are you mad? I don't want them to turn you into toaster strudel!"

"They won't turn me into freaking toaster strudel; just let me kiss your amazing lips. Please?" Blaine pouted and Kurt was about to protest when he realised he didn't want to. Sure the sensible thing would be to say no, McKinley wasn't ready for a gay couple walking its halls. Hell though, Blaine's lips were delicious, it was Kurt's new favourite flavour, he couldn't resist it. Their lips brushed together quickly. A wolf whistle rang out behind them and Kurt pulled away blushing profusely, he noted the smirk on Blaine's face and rolled his eyes before turning to see the interruption. It was only Puck.

"So you too are finally getting your mack on?" Puck winked at Kurt who flushed again.

"What's it to you smelly wiener dog?" Blaine smiled wickedly.

"What?"

"Oh, Sarah taught me some of her delightful nicknames for Puck."

"I'll keep the macking a secret if you keep the nicknames a secret, deal?"

"No deal" Kurt squealed through laughter "Definitely no deal"

"Fine, then I'll tell everyone you're together" Puck smirked but Kurt just smiled. Someone had recognised him and Blaine were together. Sure people speculated it seen as Kurt and Blaine lived together but most assumed Kurt wasn't Blaine's 'type'. Whatever that meant.

"Fine by me" Blaine smiled standing up his tip toes slightly to kiss Kurt's forehead "If it's okay with you that is."

"Well it's going to come out sooner or later isn't it?" Kurt smiled "Might as well be sooner"

"Wait, what? You two are actually together?" Puck looked genuinely surprised "I thought it was just a 'we're best friends' kiss"

"How often do you kiss your best friends Puck?" Kurt rolled his eyes but he felt Blaine's body become tense beside him and Puck turned into a colour that very much resembled a beetroot. "I mean...forget I said that. Let's go get our glee on" Kurt scuttled off towards the class room and Blaine and Puck followed starting a conversation about super Mario brothers trying to ease the tension.

"So guess what glee gang?" Puck shouted as soon as he entered the music room "Our two favourite gay guys have began an intimate relationship with one another"

"Dude, you told Puck you had sex?" Finn blurted out.

"No" Blaine whispered gruffly. The damage had already been done and everyone was looking at them strangely. Mr Schuster looked like he was about to faint.

"How about you guys sit down?" He said as normally as he could "And we'll get on with today's practise..."

"Mr Schuster I would like to formally address the glee club on an issue I personally think is getting too far out of hand." Rachel marched to the centre of the room and beamed at her audience "I think you will all agree with me when I say we are all a really tightly knitted group of people."

"Does she think we're made of wool?" Brittany whispered to Santana loud enough for everyone to hear her.

Rachel rolled her eyes and continued "However, I think recently we have become too close. Too many relationships are in our midst now. Me and Finn, Sam and Quinn, Brittany and Artie, Mike and Tina and now Blaine and Kurt, it's beginning to look potentially problematic"

"Potentially problematic, how?" Sam asked frowning.

"Our relationships could destroy the team. Especially Kurt and Blaine's relationship. We all know they have an incredibly turbulent, unpredictable relationship. One second they are friends, the next they aren't, it puts unnecessary stress upon the team. It divides us into two teams of who we support and then we can't fully cooperate as a team..."

"Wait a second..." Sam seemed disgusted "Are you saying you think Kurt and Blaine should split up?"

"Precisely"

"Because _they_ have a turbulent relationship?"

"Exactly"

"What about you and Finn? You're always fighting. That's ridiculous Rachel. That's just mean."

"And it isn't up for discussion. Sit down Rachel" Mr Schue took control of the class "You can't tell people who they can and can't go out with. Been a teenager is all about making your own decisions, falling in love, making mistakes, you can't take those sort of life experiences away from anyone. I'm disappointed in you Rachel. I'm disappointed that you seriously think what you just said was appropriate..."

"Well I think so too..." Mercedes said quietly. Kurt was glaring at her but she stood up and stood beside Mr Schuster "I don't think it's fair that you guys all have the opportunity to ruin something I'm really passionate about. I think we have too many couples in the glee club and the only fair way to limit the numbers is to split up the newest couple"

"Mercedes, we aren't going to discuss this any longer" Mr Schuster grunted intimidating.

"I agree with Mercedes and Rachel" Quinn stood up and stood near her friends "I really like glee club and I think the more relationships included within the glee club the more chance we have of falling out"

"Wait" Finn stood up and stood at the opposite side of the room "Don't you think you're been a bit hippopotamus?"

"Hypocritical Finn." Kurt muttered

"Yeah that" Finn nodded "You can't tell Kurt and Blaine to split up without splitting up with Sam. Rachel you can't tell them to split up without splitting up with me. Mercedes...well that's not the point. You just don't tell people to split up, it isn't fair!"

"No I'll tell you what isn't fair, Finny bear" Santana rose before joining Rachel's 'team' "How all you couples can lord it over the rest of us and play with our chances of winning. Every competition we've ever been to has been ruined by one couple falling out. I agree with the dwarf."

"I think even dolphins deserve love" Brittany smiled and marched over to Finn.

"Preach!" Artie muttered before wheeling over to join them.

Tina grabbed Mike's hand and dragged him over to stand by Rachel "Sorry Kurt." Mike muttered.

"It's fine" Kurt hissed sarcastically. He couldn't believe his friends were acting so horribly about this. He expected them to be _**happy **_for him.

"Don't worry Kurt; I've got your back" Puck said standing with Finn smiling.

"Sam" Quinn hissed. He'd been sitting quietly at the back of the room staring down into his hands "You need to make a decision"

"No you don't Sam" Mr Schuster said "Because despite what you guys think about this if Kurt and Blaine are happy then you should be too. It is their decision, not yours."

"Sam?" Finn asked lightly.

"Just stop it alright?" Sam said calmly "I know you guys all think I'm stupid but I know what we're voting on and I don't like it"

"We just think the number of couples in this glee club is getting out of control that's all!" Rachel said self assuredly.

"Well, if we go with the surface argument I agree with both sides. I think there are too many couples in glee club sure but dude, I'm not splitting up with Quinn, so why should Blaine split up with Kurt?"

"Sam" Quinn laughed "Just say there are too many couples in glee and stand over here."

"You know what it doesn't even matter, ya'll, we've already won" Santana smiled smugly.

"Sam. You want to be a leader. Well leaders make tough decisions"

"You think I don't know what all this is really about? I bet you think I'm so dumb? You probably all counted on the fact that me, Finn and Brittany wouldn't know what was going on but you've failed because I've worked it out and I'm not voting on that."

"I'm so confused" Kurt whispered to Blaine. Tears were leaking out of his eyes but he honestly looked lost.

"You don't know what's going on?" Blaine asked surprised. He'd worked it out ages ago.

"No" Kurt breathed "You do?"

"They're voting on whether they want me in glee club or not" Blaine smiled sadly. The whole room went silent and Rachel had turned incredibly red like she hadn't counted on the fact Blaine would work out her plan.

"But why would they do that? _They like you!_ You've been in glee club for weeks"

"And they've been waiting for an opportunity to kick me out ever since. Rachel commenting on my dancing and singing and how I don't look 'relaxed' enough and how my 'style doesn't quite fit in'" Blaine rolled his eyes "She's probably had this planned for weeks"

Quinn smirked and Santana looked oddly proud of herself. Mercedes couldn't meet Kurt's eyes.

"I still don't understand, why would they want me to split up with you?"

"This isn't anything to do with us Kurt" Blaine sighed "This is to do with me. They don't want me in glee club. If there can't be any more couples in glee club, well I'm not going to give you up am I? I'd have to quit glee club, so you can stay and be happy"

"But..."

"Kurt, they've been trying to push me out since the beginning. You've just not noticed it." Blaine sighed "Thanks Brittany, Artie, Finn, Puck ...you're true friends."

"Blaine" Sam said "I'm sorry. I couldn't vote...I...I...don't really know you that well and...well I thought it was kind of mean but I...I don't know..."

"Sam, don't sweat it" Blaine smiled "At least you weren't trying to get rid of me like some"

"This is totally uncalled for guys. Everybody sit down now" Mr Schuster said with authority. Everyone scuttled back to their seats as Mr Schue stared at them with a look of fire in his eyes. He was just about to begin screaming at them when Blaine stood up and walked to the front of the class.

"If I may?" He asked and Mr Schuster nodded. Blaine looked profoundly upset but he wasn't about to start crying. "Glee club is all about accepting everyone. It's about finding a place to belong and feel part of...well I don't feel like I belong here.

The whole point of glee is you don't have to be a good singer, or a good dancer, or popular, or pretty, or smart or whatever, you're just accepted for who you are. Glee is supposed to be about that- glee, happiness, fun! You guys are so caught up with the competition aspect of everything it just...it isn't fun.

I feel like such a...loser. I mean everyone else gets accepted for who they are and I'm the one you don't want to include. What's wrong with me? Because that's what I'm thinking. What the fuck is wrong with me that a shitty little high school glee club won't accept me?"

"Blaine, that language really isn't appropriate" Mr Schuster said threateningly.

"I know, I'm sorry, I won't swear again I'm just a bit...upset. Gutted. Distraught.

I'm not naive though. I know Rachel just doesn't like me taking her boyfriends solos. And that Quinn and Santana are just general bitches. And that Mercedes and Tina don't like the fact that I get Finn's solo, so he takes the second solos that they usually get. You're kicking me out because you're jealous of me. Well, if you were that bothered about winning you'd be happy to have me. If you don't care about winning and you want solos you could have just told me. I like glee club. It makes me happy. I honestly don't care about been the front man. I just wanted to be a part of something.

But I honestly don't want to be a part of this glee club now I've seen how toxic it is. After I've seen how corrupt it is. I quit" Blaine marched out of the room breathing deeply.

Shit. What had he just done?


	32. Dad

"There you are!" Kurt smiled walking into the lounge "I've been looking for you all day"

"I left"

"I figured that bit out" Kurt jumped onto the sofa next to a depressed looking Blaine "Oh come here you big lump!" He sighed grabbing Blaine and pulling him towards his chest. "They were jerks. Royal jerks. Class one arse holes. I'm sorry about them."

"It's okay." Blaine sighed.

"But it isn't which is why..."

"Why what?"

"Why I quit too."

"Kurt..."

"No" Kurt said adamantly looking at Blaine "Don't you dare talk me out of this. They're my friends Blaine and for them to treat you like that is completely out of order. Even if they don't like you they should respect that I like you and accept you for that reason alone. Anyway...they should like you, you're amazing"

"But you love glee" Blaine pouted at Kurt "I don't want you to quit. Not for me. I feel like I've taken something away from you..."

"Nope" Kurt said "I quit because I didn't like what glee had become. I didn't like what my _so-called_ **friends **have become. Rest assured me and Mercedes exchanged a few choosy words and she knows exactly how I feel about her..."

"Kurt, don't fall out with them. It's me they don't like." Blaine sighed wistfully again. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's forehead. He could see this had really knocked Blaine's confidence. Blaine felt useless because the people who should have accepted him had downright rejected him.

"Blaine" Kurt smiled "They like you. Mercedes likes you. Rachel certainly likes you, you bonded over hair, remember?"

"Yeah" Blaine chuckled but tears were silently running down his cheeks.

"They like you Blaine. They're just spoilt, jealous princesses. When your singing career, your _high school_ singing career I might add, is more important than your friends...well when that happens you seriously need to re-evaluate your life choices. They are been unreasonable Blaine and I really hope they come round but until they do I quit glee. You are far more important than some stupid solos"

"I'm rendered speechless" Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands and looked down at them "You just called solos 'stupid'. Seriously who are you and what have you done with Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt rolled his eyes "Shut up." He laughed "Please, please, shut up, because I might just realise my mistake and go running back to glee club..."

"Oh and we couldn't have that now could we?" Blaine laughed capturing Kurt's lips in a lingering kiss. "Mmmm" He muttered "You taste of chocolate"

"I may have been a little bit stressed and bought about twenty bars"

"You over exaggerate"

"Well, okay I bought two bars but I am thoroughly disappointed in myself, it goes straight to my hips."

"Don't worry about that crap" Blaine whispered "Because you are perfect Kurt, okay? Even if you gained 10 stone and lost all your hair and worked as a trucker twenty four/ seven you would never, ever get rid of me because...because...I couldn't stand to lose you"

"You are defiantly trying to inflate my ego. Seriously I am going to turn into an egotistical prick if you don't stop with the compliments. Will you please stop crying?"

"I can't" Blaine laughed tears still trickling down his face "I just feel...bad."

"Don't. Please don't. It's their fault. They are idiots. They just can't see how special you are"

"_Special?_" Blaine giggled "That makes me feel like a million times better. I aren't even been sarcastic or anything. If you think I'm special...well...I don't give a crap about them."

A gasp rang out behind them as Rachel stormed into the room followed by a sheepish looking Finn "And I was coming to apologise" She raged "I truly believed we could sort out our differences. I even brought my felt pens and shinny paper so we could devise a schedule to equally share solos between you and Finn. I must have been wrong. I thought you cared about glee club. I thought you'd be pleased. But if you don't give a crap about us than..."

"Cut the shit Rachel" Kurt sighed. Rachel gasped once more, Kurt very rarely used profanities. He had the occasional outburst like any normal teenager but he preferred using witty insults dripping with sarcasm.

"Rachel, you fucking hurt me you know?" Blaine hissed. The use of profanities coming from Blaine didn't shock anyone. His language was often quite vulgar for a prep school boy. "Of course I'm not going to talk about you like you're sugar and spice and everything fucking nice!"

"Well..." Rachel said offended.

"Look Rachel, you really have no right to act like the innocent victim in all of this, okay? Because you made a clever and devious plan to purposely throw me out of a club that was actually my one true emotional outlet. I thought you liked me..."

"I do."

"Then why do that?"

"You know why." Rachel muttered bitterly "You're steeling the male lead off Finn. How long was it going to be before Mr Schuster started giving you the main solos? How long was it going to be until I was forgotten? I'm the star at McKinley Blaine. At least I am in glee club and I didn't want to give that up for anything. We both know you're more vocally able than me" Rachel sighed and she looked genuinely upset. Kurt glanced at his boyfriend and he knew Blaine was going to forgive her.

"Rachel..." Blaine smiled "We both know that you are outstanding. You are incredibly vocally able. Your singing voice is amazing if a little pitchy in places but with the right training...you could be spectacular. You are going to be a star Rachel. You'll work at it and you'll improve and you will be the biggest sensation Broadway has ever seen. You know that. I won't do that..."

"Don't say that" Rachel was glowing from all the compliments. It was times like these that it shone through how much Rachel did like Blaine. They were performers. Performers who had eyed each other up as competition from day one and noticed each other's talents and flaws. "You're better than me. Not by an exceptionally wide margin but you are better than me. You'll become a star."

"I won't Rachel. I don't want to be a star. It isn't my dream. Glee club is just fun for me. That's why I was so upset. If you'd have just asked if Finn could have the solos I'd have given them up in a heartbeat"

"I know that now. We were wrong. Please Blaine, come back..."

"I can't" Blaine smiled sadly "I feel pushed out Rachel. The damage is done. You've all made it perfectly clear that a bunch of solos is more important to you than my feelings and I just can't be part of a club like that... I feel pretty shit if truth be told so if you could just fuck off that would be fantastic" Blaine finished bluntly and a small smile spread across Kurt's face. He suspected that Blaine would just forgive her immediately and today would be forgotten. Kurt wasn't ready to forgive New Directions just yet.

"Kurt. What about you?"

"What you did...Rachel...It was really mean. If it was just you, well maybe I could accept it because you're the first to admit you're abrasive, bossy and conceited. It wasn't just you though...It was everyone. It was just horrible and mean and I'm not ready to forgive you guys." Kurt looked really angry but his tone was relatively calm "You should all like Blaine because he's an exceptional person. You shouldn't hate him because he's an exceptional talent"

Rachel turned away looking guilty and walked upstairs towards Finn's room. "Don't worry dude. I haven't forgiven her. It just, like, what you said earlier isn't it? She's abrasive, bossy and that other long word I don't really understand. I've always known that and I accept it...It's what we all expected of her..."

"That isn't a good thing Finn. Achieving the expectations of others isn't always something to relish in."

"I didn't understand any of that" Finn blinked blankly and Blaine couldn't help but chuckle. Kurt snarled and continued.

"What I'm saying is just because she's a cow...It doesn't mean she has the right to be a cow. Blaine's a human being and she just treated him like a doormat"

"What?"

"She walked all over me" Blaine sighed "People have a habit of doing that."

"Hobbit?"

"You aren't really making me feel better Finn" Blaine rolled his eyes.

"What? I'm confused"

"Go upstairs Finn" Kurt sighed before turning round and enveloping Blaine back into his arms. Finn ran off immediately not wishing to see the boys act romantically towards each other. "Are you okay?" Kurt said in a feather light whisper.

"I'm good" Blaine said "I'm...well...I'm not good."

"Come on Blaine. I know that their idiots but you shouldn't let them get to you that much."

"It's not just that Kurt...It's...I don't know if I should tell you. You'll find out soon enough."

"What do you mean?" Kurt drew back out of the embrace; he pushed Blaine's hair out of his eyes and looked searchingly into his eyes.

"My dad..." Blaine bit his lip and looked away from Kurt.

"What about him?"

"He text me. Whilst you were at school. Apparently he's coming round later. He's got some news."

"Surly that's a good thing. You get to see your dad?"

"You've met my dad, Kurt" Blaine laughed an empty laugh. "Whatever news he has, it can't be good."

"When is he coming round?"

The doorbell rang immediately after that statement was uttered. "I guess sometime around now" Blaine smiled. "I'll get the door."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"NO!" Blaine screamed "No, please stay. I...I...I don't want to so this alone"

Blaine answered the door and led his father into the living room. Kurt had almost forgotten how beautiful Blaine's father was in a strange way. He looked like something out of a Tim Burton movie: Pale, Tall, Angular, and Fascinating. His eye's though, Blaine's eyes set in his face without an ounce of warmth or passion.

"Quaint" He snarled "It's lovely to see where my son is been housed. You are taking good care of him I can see. Maybe I was wrong to suggest sending him to a care home. I can see his condition has improved drastically"

"He's better" Kurt smiled. Yes, Blaine's dad was a monster. He cared though, that was evident.

"Oh dear deluded boy he will never be better. Blaine himself has accepted that."

Blaine nodded. "Yes. You are correct in that. I shall never truly be better. I'm trying though father and I am happy. I'm managing to keep the monsters at bay."

"I'm glad to hear it. Perhaps you should join us back at home. Your mother is missing you greatly and if you are now well enough to look after yourself you have no need of this place and these people."

"I am happy here father. I like Kurt and his father. They have been nothing but accommodating and welcoming." Blaine replied robotically. Kurt hated seeing this guarded soulless being. It was a coping mechanism. One that Blaine and his dad both seemed to share.

"Okay. Well. I shan't keep you. I'm happy to see you well but I don't particularly delight in your company."

"Likewise"

"I just came to inform you that five of the governors at Dalton have appealed against your exclusion after the Warblers were shockingly beaten by a choir for the deaf. Dalton academy rang me this morning to inform me that you are welcome back. I told them I would pass on their message so that's why I'm here."

"I'm not sure"

"Well, they're desperate Blaine so you have plenty of time to think about it. They'll take you back in an instant if you decide that is what you wish." Blaine's father sighed painfully like he had something particularly hard to say right on the tip of his tongue "And just so you know..." He began "I am...I am exceptionally proud of you"

"Thank you" Blaine said trying to look disinterested however it was obvious the compliment meant an awful lot to him.

"Well...I...I...better be off then... Oh, I almost forgot. A boy came round. Long dark hair, green eyes, athletic build. He was looking for you so I passed on this address. I hope you don't mind"

With that Blaine's father has gone. Kurt was left with an unpleasant feeling and Blaine looked like he was about to throw up.

"Do you know who he meant?" Kurt asked.

"Oh. I know alright."

"Who?"

"Kurt. Let's not talk about this. Please"

"Will you go back to Dalton?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I need to think"

"Okay" Kurt smiled kissing Blaine affectionately "Take as long as you need."


	33. That Boy

Blaine had been wearing hair gel for days after his father's visit. Kurt was angry at this and had expressed many concerns over it.

"Kurt, it's just gel!"

"But you haven't worn gel since you left Dalton, Blaine"

"I feel more like me okay? I like my hair slicked back and I'm sorry if that bothers you but..."

"No" Kurt breathed in deeply "No I don't believe you. You always wear your hair loose when you're relaxed. Ever since your dad visited your hair has been gelled. There's something up"

"There is nothing up, Kurt" Blaine growled before marching out of their shared room. His phone started buzzing in his pocket.

"Hey David" He smiled.

"Hey..." David's voice filled with warmth. In the back ground Blaine could hear Wes whispering urgently 'Ask him how he is! Ask him if it's true!...no don't. Ask him if he's coming back...Ask..."

"Tell Wes I'm fine and I haven't decided yet."

"So it's true?" David asked surprised.

"After you guys lost to a school for the deaf. You lost to people who couldn't even hear what they were singing. Not to be mean towards deaf people as I value and appreciate everyone but...well deaf people aren't the most vocally able are they?"

"Shut up" Wes muttered embarrassed. He'd grabbed the phone off David.

"Guys can you just put me on speaker phone." Blaine laughed at the small fight he could hear over the phone.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Wes grumbled.

"Because you're stupid" Blaine giggled "I've missed you guys"

"Well come back then" Wes whined.

"Wes!" David scolded "It's your decision Blaine. Go wherever you think is safest."

"McKinley kept me back a year. I don't know if Dalton will put me back with you guys or..."

"You'll be really behind" David said "Like really behind. You should have seen Wes struggling with algorithms yesterday...It was hilarious!"

"No it wasn't! Blaine tell him it wasn't"

"I wasn't there Wes" Blaine rolled his eyes. "I can't judge the matter"

"No fair" Wes sulked and David and Blaine began to laugh.

"Who told you about it? Did the school ring? What happened?"

"My dad came round" Blaine said robotically. Even though Blaine's dad wasn't present Blaine still kept himself guarded when referring to his father.

"Oh..."

"And he told me about Dalton..."

"Right" David said knowingly "Did you fall out?"

"No"

"Well...there's something you aren't telling us Blaine.

"He said he'd given my address to a long dark haired, green eyed, athletically built boy."

"Oh" David said again.

"Fucking bastard I'll fucking kill him" Wes muttered down the phone "What the fuck does he think he's doing? Trying to get in touch with you again! Not on my fucking life the bastarding prick..."

"Wes. Calm down." Blaine said simply.

"Me calm down? Why aren't you angry? You should be angry? Fucking hell Blaine what's wrong with you?"

That's when Blaine hung up. He wasn't in the mood for another lecture. Off of anyone.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand. They were walking to school the day after their little spat. "Your hairs back to normal?" Kurt smiled.

"Yep" Blaine laughed "I'm sorry about the other day. Just...You were right. I was freaked out about something and well..."

"You didn't want to talk about it?"

"Yeah"

"Did it have something to do with that boy your dad mentioned?" Kurt asked rounding into the playground. Blaine sighed deeply not quite knowing how to tell Kurt about this but then he saw someone in the corner of his eye. That boy. The one he'd been dreading. Why was he at McKinley?

"Blaine!" He shouted smiling running over grasping him into a huge bear hug "Dude, since like how long have you come to McKinley. I knew you'd moved house but your dad never said you'd moved school." The boy stepped away from Blaine slightly before carrying on talking "Royal arse hole by the way. He asked me if I could take my contagious disease elsewhere. Nearly kicked him in the fucking gut..."

"You should have" Blaine finally laughed "That would have been amazing."

"Agreed but still...it'd take a braver man than me." The boy smiled and Kurt noticed his dashing white teeth. He pushed some of his messy long hair behind his ears. The boy was about six foot. He had a toned body but was nothing on say Sam or Puck. His eyes were bright green like the grass on a sunny day. There wasn't even a speckle of brown in there just pure dazzling green.

"Anyway never mind what am I doing here, what are you doing here?"

"Transferred. Carmel High weren't too fond of the gay. I'm guessing McKinley won't be much better but...It's not like I could go back to Dalton after...after what happened."

"Good point" Blaine chuckled before looking into the boys startling eyes "I'm sorry about Wes and David breaking your phone. They didn't beat you up too badly did they?"

"Bright black eyes for three weeks."

"Ouch"

"It's okay" The boy grinned his charming grin again and Blaine laughed once more squeezing Kurt's hand slightly. "And who's this?"

"This is my boyfriend" Blaine grinned ecstatically "Kurt"

"Ahh so you worked it out. Good. I'm glad." The boy grabbed Kurt free hand and shook it firmly "Yeah he is cute. I can see what you meant about his skin. It looks so pale and creamy; you just want to taste it."

Blaine and Kurt both flared up red and Blaine glared at the boy who just laughed and winked.

"And who exactly is this?" Kurt asked when he'd just about recovered from the shock of hearing that Blaine talked about him like that before they were together. After they'd split up. Before they were together. Oh whatever.

"This is..." Blaine began but he was hesitant to continue.

"I'm Kyle" The boy said. Kurt's jaw dropped and Blaine looked away nervously.

"Fucking Kyle?" Kurt spat.

"Oh...so Wes has taught you my delightful nickname..."

"Yeah...Kurt's full of prejudices against you but...but I'll set him straight he hasn't heard the full story."

"I've heard enough Blaine...this is...this is...this is the guy _who __**raped**__ you_!"

"I know that" Blaine hissed quietly "Keep your bloody voice down." Kyle had flinched against the words and he looked pained.

"I better go. Don't want to be late" Kyle muttered focussing his attention on the ground. "It was good to see you Blaine. Are you...are you in my class?"

"Held back a year. I missed too much school after...you know"

"Yeah. Okay. Well...I'll see you some other time."

"Wait, Kyle!" Blaine shouted and Kurt just stared at him dumbfounded. Why was he calling _the rapist_ back? He **raped** Blaine. _**He raped him.**_ What the hell was going on?

"Yeah?" Kyle smiled shyly towards Blaine.

"You trying out for the football squad? We could really use you"

"Nah. I'm more of a puck head now. Hockey team is my forte."

"Oh..." Blaine sounded faintly disappointed.

"Think I'm going to try out for glee though." Kyle smiled enthusiastically.

"I'm not in glee" Blaine smiled "I was but...well it's a long story..."

"Well I'm looking forward to hearing it alright?"

"Alright" Blaine giggled bashfully. Kurt glared at him and watched Kyle walk off towards the front gates.

"You are so fucking nice." Kurt hissed.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Yeah. When you take arse holes like that back into your life then yeah...yeah it is!"

"You don't even know him, Kurt" Blaine sucked in a long breath.

"You've been worried about seeing him the last few days..."

"Because I didn't know if it's be awkward after Wes and David beating him up. I didn't want him to hate me..."

"You should hate him!"

"Yeah. Well. I don't. Okay?"

"No!"

"Kurt stop been such a fucking diva and get over it alright" Blaine rolled his eyes and walked away.

Kurt stood there alone watching Blaine's figure retreat into the school. Kyle was back. Blaine was fragile and weak and trusting. Kurt was going to have to be careful. He didn't trust Kyle. Whatever Blaine said about him Kurt just didn't trust him. There was an unsettling feeling deep in the pit of his stomach that told him Kyle was bad news. Things could never just be simple, could they?


	34. French Lessons

"I officially hate French" Kyle groaned as the teacher pointed towards Kurt "Why do I have to do it? I'm rubbish at it"

"Mr Jefferies please just sit down in your assigned seat" The French teacher sighed flicking her black hair behind her shoulder.

"But...Do I have to?"

"You sound like a toddler" Kurt huffed.

"And you, more often than not, sound like you've swallowed an encyclopaedia"

"Is that meant to be an insult?" Kurt rolled his eyes and pointed to the seat next to him. Kyle reluctantly shuffled over and flopped down.

"Why are you even in this class? I'm in the year above you!"

"I'm really good at French" Kurt smiled narcissistically and Kyle couldn't help the small grin that crossed his face.

"What about Blaine?"

"He's in remedial class..."

"...oh..."

"...yeah" Kurt sighed. "Why didn't you want to sit next to me?" Kurt looked confused. Kyle smiled slightly showing his stunning straight white teeth again. His smile was mesmerising. He shoved some of his, most unlikely un-brushed, hair behind his ear. Kurt didn't usually find the scruffy, sporty, jock-y boys attractive. Kyle however, was stunning. Kurt was just appreciating him the way he appreciated Marion Cotillard. He thought they were attractive but he was seriously not sexually attracted to them in the slightest. Still, Kyle was very handsome and what if Blaine was sexually attracted to him?

Yes, Kyle had taken advantage of Blaine. In the most horrible way. Blaine would never get over that, rape isn't something you just 'get over', however Blaine was the kindest man Kurt knew. Just because he couldn't 'get over' it, it doesn't mean he can't forgive it.

Kurt knew Blaine well enough to safely predict that Blaine would befriend Kyle simply to avoid any hostility.

"I sorta thought that maybe you wouldn't want to sit next to me..."

"So you were going to sit somewhere else simply to avoid hostility?"

"Yes"

Kurt rolled his eyes. Is this seriously what Dalton did to a person? Made them act so prim, and proper, and polite? God, that school must suck.

"Why is everyone so afraid of confrontation?"

"I'm not afraid of it" Kyle said stiffly "I'd just rather avoid it. I don't like making people unhappy...I..." Kyle sighed and looked directly into Kurt's eyes with a look of pure brokenness. "I don't want to tell you about it."

Kurt frowned.

Was that all?

"Is that it?" Kurt growled "Look, Kyle, You go to this school now. I have to see you every day. Blaine has to see you every day. With everything out in the open it would make things a hell of a lot easier for all of us"

"Mr Hummel, Mr Jefferies, I don't know what you are whispering about but would you please pay attention?" Their teacher asked glaring with an ice cold stare.

"Please miss...please can I just sit somewhere else" Kyle actually looked scared. He obviously didn't like having to talk about 'the incident'. Kurt needed to know though. He had that right...surly?

"Mr Hummel is a homosexual, it is not a contagious disease" Their teacher spoke monosyllabically and then clicked her tongue in boredom. A chorus of titters rang out through the class room yet no one was laughing louder than Kyle.

"That isn't my problem" He huffed out between breaths. He caught Kurt's eye and Kurt couldn't help but giggle.

"I don't understand Mr Jefferies?"

"I'm gay. Totally gay. I don't give a damn Kurt is gay. It's just we kind of have some issues"

"Bad break-up?" She snarled. Kurt had suspected his French teacher, madam Lafer, was slightly homophobic. He was laughing so hard by then he thought he'd bust a gut. Kyle looked like he couldn't breathe.

"No, actually. Blaine. We had a bit of a thing last year and it ended slightly awkwardly, I won't bore you with the details...I just can't sit next to Kurt seen as he and Blaine are now an item and it's strange."

Kurt swore he heard Madam Lafer mutter something that sounded like 'like rabbits'. She faced Kyle square in the face and said harshly "This is my classroom Mr Jefferies and you sit where I tell you to sit are we clear?"

"Miss..."

"Look if I let everyone move when they had an awkward break-up then I wouldn't be able to remember everybody's names. I have a seating chart Mr Jefferies and you are situated next to Mr Hummel. Are we clear?"

"Not really"

"I SAID, ARE WE CLEAR?" She roared. She was an intimidating woman so Kyle just nodded shyly. "Good"

"Ignore her" Kurt scowled "She's a cow"

"She's scary" He looked at Kurt sure enough looking utterly terrified.

"So are cows" Kurt shrugged.

"Cow's aren't scary" Kyle giggled swatting Kurt away.

That was weird. Kurt didn't want to punch him. He was actually kind of okay with the physical contact. Surly Kurt should just hate him? He raped Blaine. Kurt repeated it over and over and over in his head.

Kyle sensed something was wrong.

"You...you don't like me" He pouted.

"Thank you captain obvious" Kurt growled. He began to doodle French phrases in his book mindlessly. That was the good thing about been almost fluent in French. He didn't really have to pay any attention.

"...I...I...I was in a different place then Kurt" Kyle whispered.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it?" Kurt sneered. Kyle banged his fist down on the desk and the whole room went silent.

"I don't. You said you were interested and I'm saying I'm sorry."

"Well I can't forgive you"

"Well, it isn't up to you to forgive me" Kyle grunted loudly.

"No it's up to Blaine" Kurt shook his head "And of course he's going to forgive you because he's a moron!"

"That's a really nice thing to say about your boyfriend"

"Shut up okay. Just you do your work. I'll do my work. We'll get on swimmingly"

"Why doesn't everybody do their work?" Madam Lafer commanded.

"I was in a different place" Kyle hissed quietly "I was a dick. I was a bastard okay? I admit that. I made a mistake. I was wrong. I hate myself every day Kurt. It isn't really my place to talk about it. Talk to Blaine okay? Tell him to describe you everything in detail and then come back and talk to me. I'll tell you my side of the story. I guarantee you it isn't as bad as you think..."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" Kurt screamed so loud that the whole classes' attention was on them "It wasn't as bad as I think? How could it not be? You did a horrible, monstrous thing!"

"Kurt...please..."

"Save your apology for someone who'll listen."

"You don't know the whole story."

"I know enough"

"Did he tell you about when you split up? Did he tell you what happened?"

"Oh, that time when he stopped taking his pills, stopped eating, started cutting again, that time?"

"Kurt! Kyle!" Madam Lafer screamed. She very rarely used first names but her interruption went unnoticed by the boys.

"Yeah that time. When he started sneaking out of lessons to come see me. Did he tell you what happened?"

"No." Kurt stated coldly "Wes did."

"And you honestly trust Wes?" Kyle laughed rolling his eyes "That little prick that constantly belittles and judges everyone? The guy who has the patience of a hamster on speed?"

"Yeah I do. He wouldn't lie. He cares about Blaine."

"I'm not saying he was lying Kurt" Kyle spoke through gritted teeth. "What I'm saying is that he doesn't know the whole story either. Just talk to Blaine...just talk to him..."

"Don't worry, I intend to" Kurt spat. "I don't care what he says. I'm still going to hate you. No one does that to a person and gets away with it. As far as I'm concerned, you've gotten away with it too long and deserve a little hate."

"You can't give me any more hate than I give myself"

"If you think that..." Kurt smiled "than you have seriously underestimated me"

He turned on his heel and strutted out of the classroom leaving a dumbfounded Kyle in his wake. "Next week" Madam Lafer sighed "You can sit over their next to Lily, Mr Jefferies. Bret, you'll have to sit next to Kurt again."

"I thought you never changed seating plans?" Kyle muttered still completely out of it.

"Well, when your life is in danger Mr Jefferies, I make an exception."

"When my life is in danger?"

"You obviously do not know anything about Mr Hummel." She shook her head looking slightly bemused. That had been the most entertaining thing she'd seen in five years of teaching French. As much as she'd like to continue witnessing those two bickering, she didn't really want Kyle's blood on her conscience. "Class dismissed" She sighed and Kyle scrambled out of the class as quickly as possible. In the corridor he bumped directly into Blaine.

"You're in Kurt's class?" He asked politely as ever.

"Yeah" Kyle smiled slightly "I like him...he's spirited."

"You mean he's terrifying?" Blaine chuckled heartily "Did he threaten you? Please tell me he didn't kick you? Do you still have use of the baby maker? God I'm so sorry..."

"I'm fine Blaine" Kyle contemplated laughing but something was telling him Blaine wasn't joking. He'd aggravated Kurt Hummel, and according to most, that wasn't a pleasant situation to be in.

"Well...I'm still sorry, for whatever he's done"

"How do you know he's done something?"

"First off, you look petrified; Kurt has that effect on people when he gets angry..." Blaine sighed "And secondly, Kurt's not in class. That means he's stormed out. Kurt can rival the great Rachel Berry in a storm out."

"Rachel Berry?"

"If you join glee club, you'll find out soon enough."

"Okay..."

"I better go" Blaine began to walk away not really wishing to spend any more time than necessary in Kyle's company.

"Blaine?" Kyle shouted running to catch up with Blaine. "Look I know we aren't exactly friends and that's fine. I was a bastard to you and I appreciate you can't forgive me for what I did but... we're going to have to put up with each other."

"I know" Blaine sighed. "I'm perfectly capable of keeping my cool around you Kyle. I have to intention of causing any kind of...ruckus."

"I know. And neither do I...but..."

"Kurt." Blaine said suddenly realising what Blaine was getting at.

"I don't want me coming to school here to cause problems to any of us. Kurt included. So you should tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"Everything. In detail. He needs to know. It will stop him causing an unnecessary...ruckus" Kyle smiled and Blaine nodded.

As much as Blaine disliked Kyle he knew he was right. Kyle was clever. Kurt needed to know. He needed to know everything, right from the begging. Every feeling, every emotion and every little step him and Kyle took together. He needed to understand. Kyle wasn't as bad as he seemed. Kurt just needed to know the full story.


	35. The beginning

"Kurt?" Blaine breathed noticing his boyfriend sulking in their shared bedroom. "I heard what happened between you and Kyle."

"Oh so now you're here to shout at me are you" Kurt pouted and if it wasn't for the anger Blaine would have said it was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"No" Blaine laughed "Actually me and Kyle had a civil chat-"

"Yeah go have a civil chat with the boy who fucking raped you!"

"Kurt, will you let me finish?" Blaine huffed sitting down next to Kurt on the bed. He looked into Kurt's beautiful eyes that he still couldn't place the color of and smiled. "Kyle just told me that...that it isn't fair only leaving you with half the information. You're in the dark about it Kurt and for that I am truly sorry. It's just hard for me to talk about and I was never sure when it was the right time to approach it in our relationship. However now Kyle has kind of...backed me into a corner, no pun intended. I need to tell you and if you'd listen it would make this a trillion times easier."

"Whatever" Kurt mumbled trying to avoid Blaine's eyes. He felt guilty for treating his boyfriend horribly. He was scared that Blaine would forgive Kyle and they would run off into the sunset smiling and laughing at that pathetic, skinny, pale, ugly kid that was deluded enough to believe Blaine would even look at him twice.

"Kurt." Blaine sighed again. He realised what was wrong. Why Kurt was so distant. "I wouldn't leave you for Kyle. He fucked me over. In both senses of the word. I could never, ever, ever allow myself to become his boyfriend ever again and...Well...why would I want to?"

"Because he looks like a Greek god or something" Kurt threw himself onto Blaine's chest and buried his face deep into the fabric of his jumper. "And I look ridiculous" He mumbled against Blaine.

"Don't ever say that Kurt" Blaine sighed "How many times do I need to tell you that you're perfect before you get the message? Sure Kyle's hot but he is nothing, you hear me, he is nothing compared to you"

"You're just saying that."

"No Kurt. I'm really not. Not to sound incredibly sad and cheesy but to quote 'Finding Nemo'..."

"Don't you dare quote 'Finding Nemo'!" Kurt drew his head back from Blaine's chest and looked at him amused.

"To quote 'Finding Nemo'..." Blaine said slightly louder "_I look at you and I'm home_"

"That was the geekiest thing I have ever seen anyone do in the history of forever."

"Come on Kurt. You haven't been alive forever; you can't judge me that harshly."

"Blaine, I've been alive long enough to know that that was beyond geeky" Kurt giggled "However, it was adorable and thank you and I love you"

"I love you too." Blaine's forehead suddenly creased and he lay back on the bed looking pained "I need to tell you about me and Kyle. About our relationship. I know I do but...I'm just trying to avoid it by talking about all this fluffy, cutesy stuff. I mean it. I do, I mean every word but still...I need to tell you and I just...I don't know if I can"

"Blaine, you don't have to tell me if you aren't ready-"

"**But I'll never be ready Kurt. **_**Can't you see that? **__**Don't you understand?**__**" Blaine**_ screamed loudly and Kurt jumped at the tone of his voice.

"No Blaine. I don't understand" Kurt said coldly. He knew this was hard for Blaine but it was hard for Kurt too. There was no need to make it harder by screaming at each other. What was Kurt supposed to say? It not like he knew of anyone who'd ever been raped before.

"I'm sorry" Blaine already had tears running down his face just from the prospect of telling Kurt. Kurt was pretty sure tonight was going to be an emotional and exhausting night. "I'm sorry. That was out of order. I was out of order."

"Yes. You were." Kurt carried on his cold tone. He groaned "no I'm sorry. I am. Really, I just...I don't know what to say and how to act and I'm scared about what you're going to tell me but...but I feel like I need to know."

"I feel like I need to tell you"

"Well then. What else can we do other than talk about it? As much as I wish I could, I can't read your mind..."

"If you could read my mind you'd be a sparkly vampire and that sucks. I guess Jacob has nice abs but that is the only attractive part of twilight."

"Blaine"

"Yes?"

"You're avoiding the subject again."

"Sorry"

Kurt lay back on the bed and he snaked his hand into Blaine's. He squeezed reassuringly and lay on his side. Blaine followed suit so they were looking at each other.

"I'll start at the begging okay. I don't know where else I could start because well...the beginnings the beginning you know?

And if you start in the middle that's just stupid. Although some books do that, start at a different time period. It's called cross cutting or something and you tell the story in a different order so it isn't chronological.

Some textbooks do that as well and it just confuses me because you read about something that happened in like 1817 and then about something that happened in like 1812 and get them mixed up in your head and..." Blaine saw Kurt looking at him bemused "and I'm rambling aren't I?"

"Just a little. Now as interesting as the concept of cross cutting is, can you please start at the begging because you are right; telling a story in the wrong order gets very confusing."

A lopsided smiled crossed Blaine's face. How had he managed to find someone as amazing as Kurt? It took someone special to put up with his crazy. A normal person would have just hit him for going off on a tangent but Kurt just listened patiently until Blaine realised what he was doing.

"Okay. Well. I met him at Dalton and we were pretty inseparable. He was beautiful and he was sweet and funny and charming and kind and just...well he was a fantasy.

I made him into this super human being who could do anything and everything and I was so in love with the idea of him. So very in love with the idea of him but I wasn't in love with him, Kurt, I really wasn't"

Blaine began to chew on his lip and blinked to try and clear the fat tears that were threatening to fall. "So anyway" He sniffed "We started hanging out a little. Wes and David noticed I had a crush on him and started to tease me about it. Like friends are supposed to do. Then, because Wes is...well Wes... He decided to meddle. By meddle I mean, give us countless lovey duets together, force him to sit at our table, and then one day Wes pushed me towards him.

Quite literally, I was walking down the corridor, a thousand books in my hands and Wes pushed me straight into him. The books went flying everywhere, I think one of them hit David in the face" Blaine giggled slightly but it was evident on his face that this story was painful to tell "I practically tackled Kyle to the floor and I apologised all flustered.

He just laughed and said that I looked cute when I blushed which...well made me blush even more. Then he asked me out and for a few weeks it was nice."

"It sounds quite normal" Kurt observed.

"Well it was at that point" Blaine chuckled the tears that had been threatening to fall slowly descending down his face. A stray tear got caught in his eyelashes and Kurt couldn't help but think how beautiful he looked right then.

"Maybe we should save the rest of this story for another time?" Kurt asked squeezing Blaine's, now clammy, hand once more. "So it doesn't get to stressful for you."

"No" Blaine said hoarsely "I should do it all in one go. Quick like ripping off a band-aid. Then hopefully it'll hurt less"

"Okay, I'm listening" Kurt whispered as reassuringly as he could.

"It was nice" Blaine sighed "He was sweet and I let him do pretty much whatever he wanted to do. I was young and naive and he was my first boyfriend. I was just so shocked that someone wanted me in that way, someone found me sexy.

We fooled around a lot. A fucking lot" Blaine's voice sounded angry "I led him on Kurt, I told him I loved him, I made up our wedding and our 2.4 kids in my head even though I knew none of that was ever going to happen. Then one day we were fooling around and...OH GOD" Blaine chocked on his words and coughed slightly whist tears sprang from his eyes.

Kurt couldn't bear to watch and he protectively pulled him into a hug.

"His hands Kurt. Well they went a little further south than I was used to and...I felt sick because I was reacting to his touch. I didn't feel anything for him, nothing like that, I didn't want him in that way but my body, it was reacting to his touch. It was telling him I wanted him..."

"It's okay Blaine" Kurt whispered into his hair "It's all okay. You're with me."

"I know...I...it was horrible. He was whispering in my ear about how I wanted him and how we were made for each other and how he was so ready to take the next step and...and I didn't say anything Kurt. I was paralysed with shock."

"Shhh...It's okay" Kurt whispered soothingly trying to keep Blaine's body still and hold together all the broken pieces of the sobbing boy in his arms.

"My clothes had vanished and he'd turned me over and that was when I said no. It was quiet and he didn't hear me so he started preparing me still whispering sweet nothings in my ear. So I said it louder. I said "No" and he said "No what?".

He was genuinely confused Kurt, he didn't understand what I was trying to say so I told him as straight as I could. I said "I'm not ready" and Kyle laughed but not evilly, just a giggle and he said "I know you aren't ready Blaine, it's scary, I know that, but I promise you, I love you and nothing bad will happen." And well...I believed him"

"So it wasn't rape?" Kurt asked suddenly confused "You let him?"

"No... No... I said I didn't love him. I turned around quickly and shoved him away and said "Maybe it isn't because _I'm not ready_, I just don't _love you_ Kyle, I'm _sorry_" and well... he got mad..."

"Blaine...that's horrible, I think I've got the picture now...you can stop telling the story if you want to" Kurt was almost pledging. He could imagine how awful it must have felt and to actually experience that must have been a thousand times worse. That pain was just incomprehensible to Kurt.

"He raped me Kurt and he was too strong and I couldn't break free and I had to take it. He was screaming in my ear, saying I led him on and I was a slut and why did I say those things if I didn't mean them and I was crying. I was really crying. I struggled for a while but then I realised he was so strong and I gave in.

Then I went off the rails, you know the rest of the story, I tried to kill myself, Kyle was drove out of Dalton by bullies but we kept in contact. No matter what he did to me Kurt, it was a moment of madness, I truly don't believe he's a bad person"

Kurt blinked. Once, twice, three times. "Excuse me?" He asked confussed "He did that to you Blaine and it hurt you so badly"

"But he realised his mistake. I provoked him Kurt..."

"No"

"Yes." Blaine said surly "It was unintentional but I led him on and I made him angry. He reacted in the wrong way but it's understandable. It was just a horrible gut reaction to the news that I didn't love him. He isn't a bad person"

"I don't understand."

"Kurt, Jason's a bad person. He knows when he scared me it was wrong; when he beat me up and cut my hair it was wrong. If you gave him the opportunity to do it again, he would, gladly. That makes him a bad person. Kyle...he realised his mistake Kurt. He apologised for it. He would never do that to me or anyone else ever again."

"But he did do it to you again. When we split up. Can't you remember, he took advantage of your fragile state to shag you" Kurt said as softly as he could muster. Kurt didn't want to hurt Blaine, he just couldn't believe that Blaine thought what Kyle did to him was okay.

"No. I took advantage of the fact he still loved me to shag him. I wanted that contact. I wanted to feel human. I knew Kyle would give me that. I trusted him completely with my body Kurt. If I truly believed he was dangerous, I wouldn't have done that. Do you understand?"

"No" Kurt said honestly "Not at all"

"Well can you at least accept that I don't see Kyle as a threat? Can you act civilly towards him at least"

"I-I-I-I guess" Kurt breathed "Yes"

"Thank you Kurt." Blaine breathed out a sigh of relief "I haven't told that story in so long" Tears began to flow down his face once more. Kurt began to kiss them away lightly. The kissing slowly turned into touching and the touching into fooling around. Soon they were naked and Kurt was comforting Blaine in the most natural human way possible:

With his body.


	36. Zyron, Cowboys and Captains

"Mmmm hey" Kurt mumbled sleepily turning over to stare into his boyfriends eyes.

"Hey" Blaine smiled dashingly before yawning "How long have we been asleep?"

"Only about half an hour. It's half 6."

"Okay" Blaine yawned again and Kurt couldn't help but giggle.

"You are the most adorable thing on planet earth" Kurt grinned before leaning over and pecking Blaine lightly on the lips.

"Only on this earth?" Blaine gasped "What so there's some extra terrestrial life form out there that's hotter than me? Kurt, I can't believe you find those purple alien things sexy!"

"Who said anything about a purple alien?"

"You did! You said you were going to leave me for a purple alien from the planet Zyron and you'd have inter race babies that would be hounded by...by...by police space hounds who wanted to destroy them because inter planetary breeding is strictly prohibited and..."

"Blaine?" Kurt raised his eyebrow whilst glaring at Blaine. "Shut up"

"I'm just protecting you Kurt. I don't want your cute, mutant space spawn to be destroyed. I'm making you aware of how inter planetary breeding is prohibited so you won't have to suffer the loss of losing your children!"

"No, you just don't want me to travel to Zyron and make freaky love with purple aliens" Kurt snorted "Any way, you've given me the idea now so that is exactly what I'm going to do" Kurt stuck his tongue out at Blaine as Blaine jumped on him.

"Hey" Blaine smirked looking down on his boyfriend's still sleepy face "So, thanks for listening"

"To all your ramblings about inter planetary breeding? I try my best"

"No. Earlier" Blaine blinked a few times and looked away nervously "Thanks for listening earlier about...Kyle"

"Oh" Kurt turned red and nodded. Then he remembered Blaine's attention was focused on his chest, not on his head. "Yeah. Well, you're my boyfriend, I care about you. Of course I'm going to listen to you. Especially about something as serious as that."

"And...and you aren't repulsed by me?"

"Is that what you're worried about?" Kurt asked realisation suddenly dawning on him. Kurt placed a hand under Blaine's chin and drew it upwards until their faces were in line "I am not, and I will never be repulsed by you. You are the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Even with my gross scar screaming out at you"

"Your scar is not gross" Kurt rolled his eyes "Yeah it's not exactly pretty but it isn't gross either. You still look mighty fine." Kurt winked "If I was repulsed by you do you seriously think we'd have done what we just did?"

"Maybe not" Blaine's trademark lopsided grin appeared on his face as he slowly leant down and captured Kurt's lips. "What we just did was awesome by the way. Like serious love explosions were happening"

"I don't want to hear you talk about ejaculation" Kurt slapped Blaine playfully "That's gross"

"I didn't mean ejaculation Kurt" Blaine rolled his eyes "I meant that when we're together...I feel so totally happy and complete that love kind of...explodes...I don't know. Like fireworks I guess"

"Well why didn't you just say like fireworks? Love explosions sounds beyond creepy" Kurt chuckled "Fireworks is so cliché"

"Well, our life is never cliché is it?" Blaine laughed "It feels good to finally experience something that's considered normal. I don't believe that for a second though because what we have isn't normal."

"What do you mean?" Kurt's face showed a look of confusion.

"Well, it isn't normal. What I feel for you isn't normal, I mean, no one could have felt these feelings before. I don't care what everyone says. I don't care that more or less everyone falls in love... because no one can _ever_ feel as strongly about someone as I feel about you" Blaine sighed "That was cheesy wasn't it? Sorry..."

Kurt giggled before shoving Blaine down on the bed and rolling on top of him "Never say you're sorry for expressing your love for me. It was kind of beautiful. It was cheesy yes...but beautiful all the same and I...I...I love you" Kurt whispered smashing his lips into Blaine's.

"Woah there cowboy" Blaine giggled when they'd finally resurfaced for air "Someone is in a kinky mood today.

"Aye aye captain" Kurt winked "Hey...you were right, it is kind of kinky. If used in the right context anyway."

"Kurt?"

"Mmmm"

"Are we weird?" Blaine asked looking up through his thick black eyelashes. Kurt smiled down at him and nodded.

"Yes Blaine. We are" He laughed "Why'd you ask?"

"I don't know. We just went from talking about purple aliens, to serious stuff, to love, to cowboys and captains in the space of about two minutes"

"That isn't that weird...is it?" Kurt pouted.

"Well...yeah" Blaine chuckled "But at least we are never boring. Now promise me something Kurt?"

"Anything" Kurt breathed sensing the conversation had taken a more serious route.

"You won't leave me for some purple alien from Zyron will you?"

"You're an idiot" Kurt rolled his eyes "Now let me get up and get ready. I better start the tea. Carole's at some sort of party or something"

"You pay so much attention to your step mother" Blaine smirked "Her uncle died. She's at a funeral. She wanted Burt to go but he was too busy at work"

"Oh" Kurt looked shocked "I'm so heartless. I should have known that..."

"Kurt, chill out" Blaine laughed "Can I kiss you again before I let you get up."

"Sure" Kurt giggled playfully before Blaine's lips slamed into him. Kurt lost all form of coherent thought and all he could focus on were Blaine's lips moving in synchronisation with his. Their breathing began to get heavier. Blaine's tongue worked its way into Kurt's mouth and he subconsciously moaned.

"Dude you have to get a lock on your door!" Finn screeched.

"You have to stop barging in without knocking." Kurt said blushing profusely his eyes darting to his stupid brother who always interrupted everything.

"I did knock. You didn't answer"

"So you decided to walk in?" Kurt groaned "What if we were having sex?"

Finn suddenly turned even redder than Kurt as he noticed that Kurt and Blaine were in bed. They were also most likely naked. "Shit" Finn muttered "Fuck, did I interrupt something? Urghh that's disgusting. I mean not disgusting just kind of gross. I mean not gross just. Dude I invited a friend over. He's in the living room; he might not exactly be comfortable with gay sex."

"I'm sure Sam won't mind" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"It isn't Sam"

"Oh well Puck will probably find it hot"

"It isn't Puck. It's this new kid who's just joined glee club."

"Kyle?" Blaine tensed up besides Kurt "It isn't Kyle is it? Please tell me that Kyle isn't here."

"Errrm. Yeah" Finn shrugged. "Is that a problem?"

"No problem" Blaine shook his head a blank mask suddenly appearing on his features.

Kurt could see though. No matter what Blaine said about Kyle being an alright guy and about that night being a lapse in character, that night still haunted him. It still gave him nightmares and made it hard for him to trust people. It still made him feel worthless and pathetic and with Kyle being around, it was hard for Blaine to feel safe.

Sure, Blaine had trusted Kyle with his body when he felt vulnerable and needed human contact. At that time in his life though Blaine had also felt worthless and pathetic and being with Kyle, that always reminded him of the lowest points in his life. Back then he'd felt like he needed to be reminded of that. Right here, though, right now, he was happy and he didn't need reminding of that night.

"You're scared" Kurt muttered. Finn looked on perplexed from the doorway. "I don't care what you say about Kyle being a nice guy. He still scares you. Doesn't he?"

Blaine bit his lip and nodded reluctantly. "Yeah" he breathed "But I have to put up with it."

"No" Kurt whispered "no you don't...you could always go back to Dalton"

"And leave you" Blaine said gruffly "No, never...I couldn't. I like McKinley. I love you"

"Man, what the hell is going on?" Finn asked.

"Never mind Finn" Kurt shock his head fiercely "What are you here for anyway?"

"Me and Kyle are hungry. Burt isn't home from work for ages and Mom's out and I don't know how to turn the oven on"

"You are unbelievable. You disrupt me and my boyfriend making hot steamy love so I can make you food?"

Finn's face turned so red it looked like it was on fire. Blaine began to laugh and looked towards Kurt "Hot steamy love, huh? That can most defiantly be arranged" He said seductively.

"Ahh well, I'll have to sort the boys out with some food first. I need to start making tea anyway"

Blaine pouted and kissed Kurt chastely. "Make me food please."

"You are such a boy"

"And you love me for it" Blaine winked.

"Are you making food or not?" Finn frowned.

"Actually I'm waiting for you to get out so I can get up and get changed. I know were brothers and everything but watching me change is kind of creepy Finn"

"But Blaine's here too..." Finn still looked confused "How is it okay for him to watch you change?"

"Because I worship his body" Blaine rolled his eyes "and I want to stare at his fabulous butt"

Finn's eyes widened and he ran out of the room.

"No need to taunt the poor boy Blaine" Kurt rolled his eyes "It isn't fair on his slow deranged mind."

"I guess I'm gunna have to get changed and come downstairs too"

"You don't have to if you don't want to" Kurt smiled looking at Blaine concernedly.

"I can't hide from Kyle forever"


	37. FOOD

"What time is Burt home?" Finn asked looking up from whatever video game he was playing with Kyle when Kurt finally emerged at the top of the steps.

"About midnight" Kurt tutted bored trying to walk down the stairs with a slight hip twist thing he'd been working on. Kyle was there in the living room. Kyle was watching him walk downstairs. Kurt had to make sure he looked fierce and flawless which meant he was concentrating on a sexy strut and trying desperately not to fall and ruin it.

"Six whole hours!" Finn moaned "I wanted to help him work on the Chevy"

"Finn, if you wanted to help him work on cars. Why didn't you a Kyle just go to the garage after school? Then he'd have been finished twice as quick. You idiot"

"Look, I never said I wanted to help him work with cars. I wanted to help with the Chevy. He said I could have it when we finished building it and it's taking FOREVER!" Finn actually screamed but in a way that made Kurt roll his eyes and Kyle just laughed.

"If you'd have helped him in the garage, then he'd have finished quicker and you could have started work on the Chevy. Think about it" Kurt crossed his arms before beginning to strut sassily into the kitchen to make the 'men' food.

"Don't take the moral high round Kurt. If you were so bothered about helping him in the garage, you'd have gone."

"Firstly Finn, It's high ground-"

"I'm pretty sure it's round" Finn rolled his eyes and gestured to Kyle as if to say 'my brother is an idiot'. Kyle wasn't sure whether or not to laugh, was Finn honestly always this dumb or was it a joke?

"Okay, it's obvious you're going to work at 'super cuts' when you're older. Not that I'd trust you with scissors that weren't safety scissors"

"Those things don't work" Finn shook his head "I cut myself with them at school the other day, look!" Finn held out his finger and Kurt just rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever, Finn" Kurt sighed "I wasn't taking the moral high round earlier, okay? I didn't want to help Dad. I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend which I did but as we were cuddling in bed all romantically you barged in demanding food. It would have been easier for me if you two weren't here."

"I told you it was high round" Finn smirked "Anyway, dude, I told you to lay off the gay around Kyle. He may not be cool with it"

Kurt and Kyle's eyes met and Kurt giggled. Kyle wasn't sure how to react, did Finn seriously not get that Kyle had been flirting with him all afternoon? It was pretty apparent to Kyle that Finn wasn't gay and he knew he should lay off on the advances. Still, how did he not notice that?

"I'm gay" Kyle chuckled. Kurt would say it was a 'manly' chuckle. Everything about Kyle screamed straight and even though he was gay, Kurt didn't understand why he was out of the closet. If Kurt could hide behind hockey and muscles and scratty clothes and long hair, he'd do so in a heartbeat. But no, Kurt had been lumbered with a high squeaky voice and fashion sense. Alas, he just couldn't understand why Kyle would be so proud to call himself gay.

Kurt liked to think he was 'out and proud' but it wasn't really like he had any other option. High school was torture for him because he was gay and if he could pretend he wasn't, he would, just to stop the bullying. Kyle was truly proud of himself. More so than Blaine and more so than Kurt thought he could ever be.

"Dude...you're...you're...you're..."

"Gay...yep" and there was that chuckle again. Except it sounded nervous this time.

"Finn" Kurt said softly. Something about how vulnerable Kyle looked tugged at his heart strings. He really didn't want it too, but it did, and Kurt wanted Kyle to know that he could be himself around Finn "Tell Kyle what you read on a t-shirt about gay people once"

Kyle eyed Kurt confused. Kurt just shrugged and gestured towards Finn who looked completely clueless. "_God hates fags_?" Finn asked "I don't know why that would help in this situation..."

"Finn" Kurt slapped himself on the forehead "I'm talking about a different T-shirt" Kurt hissed "The one you told Blaine's dad about, remember?"

"Oh yeah right" Finn grinned "Some people are gay, get over it"

Kyle laughed, obviously relived "So you don't mind? I mean even if you did, it wouldn't change who I am and I'd still be open about it but...I like you and I'd like to be your mate and well...I don't want it to bother you"

"Gay brother, dude" Finn laughed "I live with him and his boyfriend and I have a gay mate on the football team. He isn't out and he would kill if you told anyone though so..."

"I'll keep it quiet."Kyle laughed. He didn't even get a name so he was pretty positive he could keep it quiet. "Wait, Blaine actually lives here?"

"Yeah" Kurt said slowly "I thought his dad gave you an address."

"He did but I didn't really have much chance to look at it." Kyle rolled his eyes and tutted "I put it in my pocket and I was thinking about whether I should just show up on the doorstep or try finding the landline number or...whatever... I was thinking. Then my dear chum _Wesley_ shows up about three days later" The way Kyle spat Wes's name out made Kurt jump slightly "He said Blaine told him I had his address and he sounded scared or something so he'd come to warn me not to go. I told him to chill and that I hadn't even looked at it yet, and then he stole it saying that if I ever got in contact with Blaine he'd beat me up again"

"Wes has a pretty strong hatred for you then?" Kurt sighed.

"Yeah, I guess so. What about you?"

"Undetermined" Kurt stated a real look of confusion crossing his features. "I thought I had you figured all out but...I don't know. For now, you're just Kyle, the dude who broke my boyfriend to a state which has gone beyond being reparable. So obviously I don't like you."

"Okay" Kyle grinned slightly "Well, at least you don't hate me. It's a start."

"And it's a finish" Kurt sighed "I don't want much more to do with you than meaningless banter when the situation demands it, we clear?"

"Crystal"

"Good"

"_Kurt I'm hungry_" A whine came from upstairs. Blaine bounded down the stairs like a puppy and ran up to Kurt practically tackling him. "I thought you were making food!"

"Get off me, you're wet!" Kurt screeched "Ewwww"

"I had a shower. You said you were making food and I had a shower and you still haven't made food and..."

"Woah, baby, slow down..."

"Aye aye captain"

"Can we stop with that joke now? It's getting old."

"No it isn't" Blaine shrugged "It's getting more and more hilarious with every retelling. The situations are diffrent and the way it's delivered each time is so fresh it just seems so new and exciting and..."

"Don't turn into a comedy reviewer Blaine. You just think it's kinky" Kurt eyed his boyfriend in a reprimanding stare.

"Aye aye captain" Blaine winked and Kurt couldn't hold back the laugh that was trying to burst through his rib cage "I thourght you said it wasn't funny!" Blaine teased.

"Well, okay, okay you got me, that one was funny"

"Blaine Anderson, King of comady, thank you, thank you, I'll be here for as long as you'll have me" Blaine bowed and Kurt giggled again "I thourght you were supposed to be making me food?" Blaine suddenly said "Me hungary, me need meat!" Blaine beat his chest like a gorilla. Kyle chuckled his throaghty chuckle.

"Sorry, sorry..." Kyle said "It's just, you've changed, you seem more relaxed, more fun"

"The absense of Dalton" Blaine grinned "And the presence of a beautiful, tallented, amazing, attractive, pashionate, unbelievable, mind-blowing...oh and a thousand more adjectives that would take me too long to reel off...boy who makes my world complete."

"Blaine" Kurt sighed dramatically "How did I even find someone as magnificent as you! Elope with me!"

"Not until you make me food!" Blaine growled. "So what are we playing?" He asked jumping in the middle of Kyle and Finn. He stole a controller off of Finn and smiled. "Mario Kart, I love this game. I will wipe the floor with you and...and why is my beautiful boyfriend still staring at me and not making me food."

"Because you are unbelieveable" Kurt shook his head.

"Thank you!" Blaine smiled really wide. He looked like a kid who'd just eaten a lode of sweets and was acting hyper active.

"It wasn't a compliment" Kurt said sarcastically before deciding he'd kept the boys waiting long enough and he should really start making them food "Burgers sound good?"

"Nom nom nom" Blaine said whilst hitting his controller manically with his fingers. Kyle groaned so Kurt figured Blaine must be good at this game.

"Blaine. I am never letting you go on the internet ever again"

"Oh Kurt, LOL you think you can stop me going on the intenet. Poor deluded child. LMAO."

"Where did I find you?" Kurt frowned.

"**FOOD!**" Blaine screamed and Kurt turned around. Blaine was seriously going to pay for this. Treating Kurt Hummel like a servant, please. Kurt smiled to himself. He loved that poor deluded child who was playing Mario Kart and thourght Kurt would be on his beck-and-call to make food. "Kurt, are you making me food?"

"YES, NOW FUCK OFF!" Kurt screamed.

"I'm sorry" Blaine shouted in from the other room "Kurt? Kurt, baby? Kurtsie-wurtsie? I said I'm sorry. Didn't you hear me. Say something. Honey? Kurt? Do you hate me?" Blaine ran in and envoloped Blaine into a hug "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sooo soo so sorry"

"Blaine get off me" Kurt laughed trying to brake free of Blaine's vice like grip "I'm making you food, aren't I? I can't make food without my arms."

"I don't really care about food anymore."

"So what do you care about?"

"You" Blaine grinned spining his boyfriend round to face him. Blaine leaned in slowly and kissed the taller boy chastly. "You're adorable"

"And you're bipolar"

"I know" Blaine shrugged "Manic depressive, but I've been taking my pills..."

"I didn't mean that Blaine" Kurt looked upset "I'm so sorry, I totally forgot about that, I can't believe I forgot that was so insensitive and..." Kurt was cut off by Blaine's lips engulfing his mouth into a fiery kiss.

" Forget about it. I know you didn't mean it like that. You meant I'm jumping round acting like a complete goon, right?" Kurt nodded and Blaine sighed "Sorry, I'm just nervous around him"

"It's okay" Kurt laughed "It's kind of cute actually"

"It is?"

"Yes...but I do prefer my relaxed, serious boyfriend. I like fun blaine but...he isn't real Blaine and I'm sort of in love with real Blaine."

"I would hope so too" Blaine's trademark lodsided grin appeared on his face. He stood on his tip toes and brushed his lips against Kurt's forehead "I'm rather partial to a certain Kurt Hummel as well"

"I'd hope so too" Kurt bit his lip and giggled.

"That is the most adorable sound I've ever heard in my life"

"FOOD!" Kyle screamed from the lounge.

"Yeah, come on Bro I'm fricking starving!" Finn agreed.

"Want a hand?" Blaine asked reluctantly removing his arms from around Kurt's waist.

"That would be appreciated, thank you"


	38. Night Terror

After Kyle left Blaine seemed to notably relax. Kurt was happy about this, seeing his boyfriend on edge put him on edge, and Kurt didn't like to feel so tetchy. "I'm going to bed. Is that okay?" Blaine asked no one in particular before scuttling off to his and Kurt's room.

"Dude, what the hell is the matter with him" Finn gawped "He's been acting freaky weird all day".

"Blaine and Kyle have history" Kurt muttered bitterly.

"So do I. 3rd period on a Monday and 6th on a Friday"

"No Finn. I don't mean like that, I mean they were together"

"Like a couple" Finn asked.

"Yeah Finn" Kurt rolled his eyes "They were together"

"Are you jealous?" Finn asked in a way that sounded genuinely curious rather than invasive.

"A little" Kurt admitted "Not of Kyle, I mean I'm far more fabulous than him..." Finn chuckled at the statement but he noticed Kurt always talked himself up when he felt most insecure. "I'm more jealous that he knows so much about Blaine and I've only just started to scratch the surface. I know there's more to him. I know it will all become more apparent with time and I trust Blaine will tell me everything about him one day. I just hate the knowledge that someone else exists in the world who knows more about him than me."

"So they know each other well then? 's just you were talking all creeptically."

"I think you mean cryptically, Finn. Yeah, they know each other well. There are some bad feelings there. Blaine doesn't feel comfortable around him if that's what you mean." Kurt rubbed at his eyes before leaning his head on Finn's shoulder. Kurt was glad there was no weirdness between them anymore. After all that business with Finn calling him a fag, everything had mellowed down, they were truly brothers. It had taken far too long for him to get to that point. "I'm worried about him" Kurt sighed. He finally admitted what had been plaguing his thoughts for months.

"Man, Blaine's cool, okay? I like him a lot. He's kinda my brother too now and I know Burt thinks of him as a son. Blaine's part of the family, and, well, if Kyle makes Blaine uncomfortable, I won't invite him again."

"I appreciate the thought Finn, but it isn't just Kyle I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

"Blaine had a nightmare the other day. More than that, it was more like a night terror to be honest, he was screaming in his sleep. He slept right through it so he doesn't know I heard." Kurt huffed, his face looked older somehow, he looked truly tormented by Blaine's nightmare "Then, I saw him staring at the kitchen knife, like he wanted to hurt himself. He saw me so he just pretended everything was cool, but I know it wasn't Finn."

"His pills?" Finn gasped. The story had obviously effected him. Finn did care about Blaine and he certainly didn't want anything to happen to him.

"He's still taking them" Kurt shrugged "but I just feel like it's only a matter of time. He's just seemed so stressed and frail. Since before Kyle, since before he quit glee, really he's not seemed happy since he left Dalton"

"I thought he liked McKinley?"

"I think he does. He feels more comfortable to dress nicely there and he has more of a personality there. He's failing though; I think he wants Dalton's high standards back so he's forced to do well. He misses Wes and David as well. Every time he rings them they're too busy revising for exams and every time he has to hang up the phone. He just looks so...sad"

"So why doesn't he go back to Dalton?" Finn asked "I thought he'd been offered a place"

"He has. I think it would be good for him. He's just too afraid to leave me. I think he thinks I'll be mad or something"

"You need to talk to him again" Finn nodes his head "You need to make sure he feels okay and tell him to go to Dalton. If that's what he wants to do anyways" Kurt was always shocked when Finn made sense. As stupid as it sounds, Kurt had never thought of just asking Blaine how he felt, he was too busy worrying about him.

"You're cleverer than people think. You're pretty smart to be honest."

"Tell Rachel that will ya?" Finn chuckled before running his fingers through Kurt's hair. Kurt felt his eyes drooping and decided it was probably time to go to bed. He had wanted to wait till his Dad got home to monitor his eating habits but he was almost falling asleep on Finn's shoulder.

"Right, I'm gunna go to bed. If you're still awake when Dad gets back, make sure he doesn't eat anything that's bad for him"

"Yeah, I will do little bro. Just go get some sleep okay? You look shattered"

"I am." Kurt admitted "thanks Finn"

"What for?"

"Listening" Kurt shrugged. He jumped up and smiled at Finn before walking to his bedroom. Kurt opened the door to see Blaine fast asleep on the air bed. Kurt and Blaine always slept in the same bed recently. Snuggled close and basked in each other's comfort. The air bed had only stayed up so that Burt could pretend they slept separately. Everyone knew though, everyone knew they slept together; in fact everyone in the Hudson-Hummel household knew Kurt and Blaine were sexually active. Kurt hated that. He hated that everyone knew their business.

Kurt walked over to Blaine and kissed his forehead before proceeding to get dressed for bed. By the time he crawled into his big, empty bed, tears were running down his face. Why wasn't Blaine with him? Why was he on the air bed? Kurt felt totally lost without the warmth of another body beside him. He knew Blaine must have a reason for sleeping alone tonight. It still made him feel alone. Kurt even felt guilty, like he must have done something wrong, when he was convinced he'd done everything right. Did he act funnily towards Kyle? Did he make Blaine feel uncomfortable? Kurt couldn't sleep thoughts of what he must have done wrong flying round in his head.

A few hours later Blaine was screaming in his sleep. Kurt didn't know what to do. He knew that you weren't supposed to wake sleepwalkers, but what were you supposed to do with people suffering night terrors? Kurt closed his eyes tight shut but the screams were still far too loud in his ears. Every fibre of his being was aching to help Blaine.

Kurt began to hum a tune that sounded soft and sweet before singing a few stray lyrics _"... whisper if you want him then you're gunna have to fight me_". Kurt vaguely knew that song. He was sure he'd heard it before. There was something about waking up on a bench with a candle at your chest or something. He couldn't place the name of the song but humming it made him feel safe somehow. He sang that line again "_and whisper if you want him then you're gunna have to fight me, ohh fight me_"

"I like that song" He heard Blaine whisper softly. His voice sounded hoarse, due to the screaming probably, and he was sniffing like he was crying.

"I can't remember what it's called or who it's by. I don't even know it very well"

"Quinn sang it in glee club a few weeks ago. It's by a British singer called Laura Marling" Blaine responded and Kurt vaguely remembered Quinn talking about something like that.

"Still doesn't really ring any bells"

"'s called 'Night Terror' I think it's about a guy who's plagued by his past and she's trying to protect him" Blaine chuckled slightly "I mean, it's down to your personal interpretation of course, I have no idea what Lauren intended to be about, but that's how I interpret it" Blaine laughed again but it was a sad laugh. "You really do know the perfect song to sing for just about every situation don't you?"

"I don't know. I guess I do."

"Was I screaming too loud?"

"You were screaming yeah, you have been for a few nights actually, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway without you next to me." Kurt gestured to the empty space beside him despite the fact that Blaine wouldn't be able to see due to the darkness.

"Sorry Kurt, I'd just being having nightmares and...Well I figured I must have been screaming and you were just too polite to tell me. I was afraid that maybe I'd kicked you or something. I get jumpy when I'm having bad dreams. I figured it would be easier for you to go to sleep with me over here."

"Nope" Kurt laughed "So please get into OUR bed and put your arms around me so I can feel safe and you can feel safe."

"You...you...you...you don't feel safe without me?"

"I need you here Blaine, or I won't ever be able to get to sleep."

Kurt heard Blaine's sheets ruffle and he padded across the room slowly. Kurt felt the bed move and the presence of another body besides him which he promptly snuggled into. "Hey" Blaine whispered.

"Hey beautiful" Kurt smiled. "You okay?"

"I'm fine"

"That's what everyone always says. How are YOU Blaine?"

"I don't know" Blaine sighed "I'm just really tiers but I'm too afraid to go to sleep because of the dreams. Even when sleep finally overcomes me, it doesn't make me feel any less tired. I just feel worse when I wake up."

"What are you dreaming of?" Kurt asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

"You'll just think I'm stupid. I think I'm stupid. I mean...I was just...I was dreaming about my Mom and Dad and me. We were at the seaside, having fun, but I just felt scared. Like something was lurking in the shadows. I feel totally pathetic. I shouldn't have been screaming. That's just stupid of me. I'm sorry for scaring you"

"I was just afraid that you were afraid. These dreams scare you, I don't care if you think it's pathetic, if it's scaring you, it's scaring me, okay?"

"mmmm" Blaine hummed "Okay" he tightened his grip around Kurt and pulled them even closer together. Blaine's head rested in the crook of Kurt's neck before bursting into burnt out, hopeless sobs.

"It's alright baby, I'm here" Kurt said soothingly "Nothings gunna happen to you when I'm here"  
"You're the best boyfriend ever Kurt" Blaine managed to mutter between sobs.

"Shhh" Kurt brushed his hands through Kurt's hair. He began to hum again. The same tune as before. As he remembered random lyrics he sang them aloud "_I__ woke up and he was screaming.__I'd left him dreaming.__I roll over and shake him tightly, and whisper If they want you, then they're gunna have to fight me..."_

Blaine's breathing gradually slowed. Soon his breathing was so heavy Kurt was positive he must be sleeping. The song had succeeded in calming him down just as Kurt had hoped. Blaine was right; Kurt knew the right song for pretty much every situation. He planted a kiss on Blaine's forehead before letting sleep take him away. Tomorrow was Saturday. Kurt would approach Blaine about his worries then. For now he would just lay holding his boyfriend and calming him down when vicious dreams threatened to emerge.


	39. Decisions

Blaine stirred in Kurt's arms to see Kurt stairing down at him. "I wish you wouldn't do that"

"Wouldn't do what?" Kurt asked pouting making Blaine giggle at his boyfriends adorableness.

"Stare at me whilst I sleep. I swear my body senses it or something. I can never sleep anymore cos I can feel your gaze bearing into me"

"That's ridicules" Kurt laughed stroking Blaine's fluffy, morning hair, into a more straight structure. "I've been staring at you for hours and you've only just woken up" Blaine's eyes widened and a faint blush crawled its way across Kurt's cheeks "...And I can't believe I just admitted to that"

"Hours?" Blaine laughed "Surely I'm not that entertaining whilst I'm sleeping" He grabbed Kurt's hands that were still stroking in his hair and brought them down so they were around Blaine's waist.

"I beg to differ. You make really cute noises. Like purring or something. I don't know. It's just fun to watch. Your brow sort of creases every now and then and you mutter sometimes"

"Oh, please don't tell me I talk in my sleep as well as scream?" Blaine blushed bright red and shocks his head.

"Yep. You muttered something about wanting me, right now" Blaine rolled out of Kurt's grip and looked up at him horrified. "Yeah. It sounded like you were having a very vivid dream. You seemed to be enjoying yourself"

"Kurt...pleases" Blaine sighed "please don't" Kurt noted Blaine actually looked upset.

"Blaine, I'm not bothered. You're allowed to have those sort of..."

"Kurt, just shut up" Blaine rolled out of bed and began to shove clothes on "It not about that and I..."

"Woah, Blaine...just talk about it. I don't understand what you mean."

"**Neither do I!**"Blaine screamed shaking "I don't **understand** Kurt.I don't understand why I have creepy nightmares and then the next second I'm having sex dreams. It's creepy, okay? I don't get how my dreams just changed so drastically and it's..." Blaine's rant cut off with a huge sigh before he rubbed his hand over his face "Sorry...never mind"

"It's what Blaine?"

"It's...It's...I'm scared" Blaine admitted defeated "I'm really fricking scared"

Kurt was on his feet within a second wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine trying to hold him together. "I don't know what to say Blaine." Kurt Muttered into his neck "Except, it's normal. To have weird dreams, nightmares. You're a teenager so fantasising about having sex with me is normal too. I understand why it might be freaking you out having those two totally opposite dreams immediately after each other"

"It's just...I was so freaked out and I didn't know why because my dream wasn't even that scary it just felt scary. Then I woke up to your voice and I felt safe again because, well this sounds hopelessly cheesy but, I felt safe because you were looking out for me. Because you wanted me to feel safe. As soon as I was next to you I just...I wanted all of you. I was too tired though and I guess that thought just overtook my dreams. It's embarrassing"

"It shouldn't be, okay? I don't mind and I completely understand. My thoughts tend to...wonder when I'm around you too"

"Really? I'm not just turning into one of those depressing over hormonal teenagers you read about in angst-y, depressing, drivel-y books?"

"No. You are one of those over hormonal angst-y teenagers but wanna know a secret? So is every teenager on the planet, Blaine. Hormones suck. They also tend to control us. It's just the way it works when you're our age"

"I hate it. Well I don't hate having those dreams about you. I rather like that actually" Blaine chuckled slightly before burying his head into Kurt's shoulder "I just hate how all the emotions change so quickly and scare the hell out of me"

"I hate it too. It's horrible and...With your...condition, it must be harder for you"

"I'm taking my pills" Blaine growled, but he didn't move out of the embrace.

"I never said you weren't" Kurt assured him "I truly believe you are taking your pills Blaine, but surely it's still harder for you with your emotions then it is for people without mental illness"

"Manic depression is a mental illness Kurt but...you don't seem to know much about it. I wish I could just tell you it all but it's really complicated. It's not like OCD or something like that which can be cured with a bit of guidance and hard work.

It lingers. It's there...pretty much forever. Lurking in the background, waiting for something to make you mad or sad enough to stop taking your pills, to stop wanting to restrain it. Then it's free again and it consumes you so much that...that you think it _is_ you.

You don't fight it anymore because instead of seeing it as this illness, this monster, you see it as a personality trait" He spit the last two words out like they tasted dirty in his mouth before detaching himself from Kurt and looking into his eyes. He looked afraid, as if trying to anticipate Kurt's reaction.

"I'm sure a person with OCD wouldn't see them getting better as easy" Kurt smiled "It's tough for them too..."

"Yes, I know Kurt, what I meant to say is, they can do it. Then they can live there life normally. I can't just get rid of this thing. I have to control it. Imagine having a puppy that jumps around your house all happy and excited but barks and scratches at all your friends. Trying to control that _animal_ that suddenly rips free from that happy bouncy puppy."

"Sounds...challenging..."

"Now imagine you're that puppy. Imagine you don't want to scare those people, you don't want to be so excited or angry or depressed but you physically cannot restrain yourself. Seeing all the people you love...scared. Not only scared for you but scared _of you_"

"Blaine..."

"Kurt, I hate it. I don't want to scare people. Wes, especially, he can't help but get worked up around me. I know him and David treat me like a child Kurt. I can sense that, even when I'm at my worst I know they're treating me like a five year old and _**I hate it**_ but I'm acting like a five year old and...How the hell else are they supposed to treat me?"

"Blaine..."

"I mean...I love them Kurt. I appreciate them looking after me. I wish they'd kept a closer eye on me so I didn't run off to sleep with Kyle. That's unfair though because they were looking after me as best they could and I was being a handful. It isn't there fault I ran off but sometimes I blame them and I feel really disgusted in myself"

"It's..."

"And I don't resent them for that Kurt. I don't resent them for not stopping me sleeping with Kyle. I think that they think I resent them. I only blame them a little and I love them really and I don't want them to think I hate them because it was my mistake. It wasn't there mistake and even though I wish they'd have stopped me they couldn't not really and..." Blaine drifted off into silence.

"Good. You're breathing now" Kurt smiled before kissing Blaine's forehead. "I didn't know it was possible for a person to feel so much. I didn't know it was possible for a person to say that much so quickly."

"And I think they don't like me anymore" Blaine said quietly as if Kurt had never spoken.

In that instant Blaine's voice was so soft and so small. Kurt had never heard him sound so lost and broken. That's when it hit him; Blaine had always had Wes and David to help him through all the shit in his life. Now he needed them more than ever. Kyle was back and he was scared. Without Wes and David, Blaine was lost; he didn't have anyone to look after him. Well he had Kurt, but that wasn't the same. Kurt was perfect, flawless, and beautiful and the strongest person that Blaine had ever met. Kurt was truly amazing but he just wasn't them. He made Blaine feel safe and loved but he didn't make Blaine feel protected.

"I think you should go back to Dalton" Kurt whispered.

"What?" Blaine's eyes flickered with panic "You want me to leave...you...you don't want me? I'm so stupid. I can't believe I thought this would work out I mean, obviously you're far too perfect for me. Dad was right, he said you were to brave for me, too happy, he said the only guy I'd ever end up with would have to be a miserable sod. I can't be around happy people. I just make them hate me. You hate me and Wes hates me and David hates me and...Does your dad hate me? Does he want me to go? And Finn?"

"BLAINE!"Kurt screamed as loudly as he could possibly muster "WE DON'T HATE YOU. I love you, you absolute idiot, I love you and you're the one whose too good for me but I love you and I am willing to have you as long as you're willing to have me, okay?"

"I...I...I..." He whimpered and tears began running down his cheeks before he tackled Kurt into the tightest hug. Kurt could hardly breathe but he just hugged Blaine even tighter wanting the make sure there was no space between them "You don't want me to go?"

"No" Kurt said softly "Of course I don't"

"Then why would you say that?"

"Because...because you're not happy here Blaine. You need the warblers and high academic standards. You need Wes and his damn gavel. You need David who can calm everyone around. You need that Jeff kid you always talk about and Nick, is it? And Thad? You just need all those guys. You need that school. You need them to be happy"

"I am happy. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. All I need is you"

"That isn't true Blaine, okay?" Kurt sighed "you need a home."

"I have one...here...with you"

"But you aren't comfortable here Blaine. In this room, with me, you're fine, but out there...it's awkward for you, with my family being all wacky..."

"I love them Kurt, like my own family"

"But you feel like you're imposing"

Blaine finally bowed his head. He hated how Kurt knew him so well. How he just knew everything he was feeling. He loved that but he hated it too. "Fine. But Kurt, I don't want to leave you."

"You want to go to Dalton"

"Yes. Yeah I do but...I don't want to leave you and you can't leave McKinley. They're your family"

"They don't act like it Blaine. Not recently anyway. I don't want to leave McKinley but if you want me too then...I will"

"I could never ask that of you Kurt. Never."

"But you need to go to Dalton Blaine. You need your friends back"

"But they hate me Kurt."

"They love you. I promise. They're just busy with exams. They still love you"

"And I'll be held back a year"

"So you'll be in Jeff's year. You'll have friends there Blaine. You're the most popular guy in school there and McKinley...McKinley's just holding you back. Your grades and slipping and you hardly ever sing anymore. You need to get out of there; it's like a trap for you or something."

"But...you?"

"We'll see each other every weekend. We'll ring each other every night. In the holidays you'll live here but on weekends you'll go live with your Mom and Dad."

"My dad?"

"You miss him. Last time you met it changed Blaine. He said he was proud of you" Blaine grinned suddenly at the memory "You need to at least try to rebuild your relationship...and besides, you miss your Mom."

"How did you know all that?" Blaine pulled away from Kurt's hug once more looking at his boyfriend with wide eyed admiration.

"Because you're easy to read." Kurt laughed "And because I love you."

"I love you too" Blaine sighed "What about Kyle?"

"I tell him you moved school. I say it's because of your grades slipping and you miss your friends. I tell him that he doesn't contact you ever again unless he wants his nuts cut off. I'll make sure he gets the message" Kurt said slowly.

"Thank you Kurt." Blaine laughed "This is going to sound so bad but...for a long time I've been confused. I haven't known what to do. With my life, with myself. Thank you Kurt because...because you've made me realise that you don't have to know what to do instinctively. You just have to do what makes you happy and what's right for you"

"That was really sappy"

"You are perfect Kurt. You know me better than I know myself and thanks to you I know what to do. I have to go back to Dalton. I have to be your boyfriend. I have to patch things up with my father. I have to be brave and strong and follow your example"

"Follow my example?"

"Courage, Kurt, you posses more in your little finger than I have in my whole body. I need to be as strong and as brave as you."

"Courage" Kurt giggled linking his fingers with Blaine. He leaned down and kissed Blaine chastely "I'll miss you"

"Courage"

**FIN**

**So sorry for the cheesy ending guys. If you stuck with me until the end I love you dearly and it has been fun, yes? :') **

**Thanks for reading this and taking a chance.**

**Thanks for all the feedback and love and even dislike.**

**Thanks for everything.**

**And I hope the ending wasn't too cheesy for you guys. Thoughts?**


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